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Without looking at any of the details (or, honestly, any of the links yet), I am going to guess the deal breaker was a no-trade clause. The Marlins have made it very well known they will not include no-trade clauses in any deal - other wise, once the Marlins get their rings, they can trade...

Is that supposed to be a wang or a vagina? Either way...yum!

As everyone knows, the end of the world comes in about a year. You can either deal with this honorably, or go out like a complete jackass. This is why I have bought the Mystic Mayan Power Cloak, which will make me immune to the 2012 apocalypse. That way, when all you dumb fuckers are dying like...

I heard the Japanese knew about it before hand.

Congratulations, guys. Prepare to have your email addresses flooded by tons and tons of cock pictures. Today, I dressed it up like Little Bo Peep!

Actually, I wasn't actually thinking of you. You do make me chuckle and do mean to. And anyone with Garfield as their avatar cannot be all that bad.

Might as well tell me I am going to travel on the Death Star with Lord Vader, because both are part of fairy tales.

Anyone who whores themselves to be the funniest member is the complete opposite.

As large a tragedy, in my opinion, is that we are quickly losing those who were at the attacks. With their deaths, we are losing a lot of our living history. My *** lived in Dayton at the time, a few miles from Wright-Patterson Air ***** Base. He said the amount of activity that went on at the...

The peanut butter jar is a whore that will not put out! A fucking whore, I tell you! At least the pickle jar speaks to me, on many intimate levels. Mainly, that I can put my dick in something that looks like a bunch of little green dicks. It's like partaking in a leprechaun orgy.

Hey, dirk, remember the time in biology when they had us dissect the blue whale penis, and ours "disappeared"? Good times. Good times.

I got my dick stuck in the fucking pickle jar again. The brine hurts!

The amazing thing about Harry Morgan was that he always looked like Harry Morgan. Look at a film like The Ox-Bow Incident. Then look at him in Dragnet. He still has that distinct look, that distinct voice. My favorite of his was as the insane Major Pott in What Did You Do In The War, *****. May...

Newt is a life-long politician who tells us we need to fear politics. I think that sums up my largest problem with the guy.

Talking **** ******* exist, too, then. Why else was ****** **** written? We went to Saturn and found a monolith, then a computer when crazy and ****** the spacemen. Why else was 2001 written? Robots exist and look just like humans. Why else was Do Androids ***** of Electric Sheep? Everything in...

I am able to see into the future. Unfortunately, that is limited to being able to see what merchandise will be able to fit into what areas, no matter how seemingly impossible it is. It's a worthless talent. It is a gift. And a curse.

Yeah, then he would lend it to me. Well, at least it was lubricated by the time I got it.

If you tell me, it is not a surprise. Oh bother. He paid it. I know he did. And thank you for bringing back that horrible, horrible day...

I am probably overthinking things, but Shifty could be saying we don't (yet) have the capacity to literally destroy Earth. Yet. Sure, we can severely scar her surface - we can bring down mountains, drain lakes and turn oceans into dead zones, but we haven't yet found the ability to turn our...

NASCAR or hockey if they are white, basketball if they are black, bull fighting if of Spaniard descent, and bowling if Asian. Oh, and I forgot those fucking penguins, which are the worst racists. They like a game called "chompem bit", which is basically polar bears eating seals, then getting...

It was so much better than that fucking gas-powered vagina. I mean, what the fuck was that, dirk? And where in the fuck are my plans for the electric cock and anus?

If the ***'s *** is gay, then there is a pretty good chance the *** knows what "gay" is. Hell, he probably has a better idea than Michelle does. Oh, yes...and I did know what "gay" meant when I was 8, despite it being the 1970s.

Hell is in Michigan. I was there once. It was OK, but kind of cold and some of the people there seemed a bit ticked that we were paying more attention to the concept, rather than the place.

Dirl, that is factually incorrect. Jack has never been in a cunt in his entire life. That said, I do find it funny that many who are afraid of government taking over their lives blindly follow some poorly translated book written thousands of years ago, interpreted by people trying to make the...

Yes, I have trolled you so much, I just got around to reading this. Of course, you know this completely destroys my life. No. Really. I reeeeeeealy care about what you have to say. You don't have me on ignore. You are too much of an attention whore.

And his penis. Ahhhh...sorry, Shifty. That was a tragedy.

Extremely true.

I like Petra's very warped little sense of humor, as well.

I know...but who wants clean air to breath, nature not full of litter, old-growth forests to provide oxygen, seas and lakes we can swim in without putting on a radiation suit and natural wonders? On a serious note, Gore and company did at least help bring the issue to the forefront...and he has...

People who know what is going on and have an ability to think for themselves have known of global climate change way before Gore even came along (see: Carl Sagan, Greenhouse Effect, 1960s). Only those with no factual grasp on the subject have created the figurehead which is Al Gore. Many of the...

These are the types of pictures funny to 12-year-old whose parents were ***** relatives before marriage.

I've seen similar articles in the past. PayPal seems to have something against charities. I seem to remember a few years ago, when goofy auctions were in vogue (you know, like a guy selling his wife's wedding dress, or a piece of toast with the virgin Mary on it, or another piece of toast with a...

Protein equals protein. Fruit, veggies, nuts.

Looks more like an older version of Justin Bieber fighting Christian Kane to me. And I could have done without the 12 year old commentary.

See, Jack, intelligent bits of conversation can come from both sides. Try it. You might like it.

Meh, I would think the creator of all things would give himself a much larger cock. Not necessarily a comically large one (though in that situation, it would have helped), but...was it cold there?

A lot of good names, and I am going to throw maildude's name in there. He's had some great one liners.

So, in your narrow minded little world, it is one or the other? Can't both be bad? The purpose of the Weathermen was to violently overthrow the government. I thought you Paul types would go for that kind of ****. Then again, the KKK was for ******* black people. And we know Jack and a few others...

Good for them. If they are happy together, there is absolutely no reason they should not be allowed to make it legal.

Thanks Plasma...I freely admit that I am probably going very near some lines (I have been in your line of work before, and people like me annoyed the hell out of me) - but sometimes, I need to get things of my chest lol

What I found remarkable about Santo is that he only got 43 percent of the votes tops from the writers. This shows that ex-jocks have more common sense than most writers, and that our perceptions of the dominance of players during their respective eras has evolved quite a bit in the last few...

Aww. Cute. It thinks it's important. You are a plaything, plane and simple, like the little baby bunnies my dog would play with, until they stopped breathing.

Maybe we should wait until the Packers lose in the Super Bowl before deciding...

This is because, for the most part, the beliefs of most of those on this board are well thought out, intelligent beliefs which make them the unique person that they are, whether left, right, middle of the road or whatever. Yours are formed by ignorance, hatred and being a little attention whore...

What you two rocket scientists are failing to realize is that my point is that the "show me where the Constitution says I cannot stockpile firearms" and "show me where the Constitution says I cannot stockpile nuclear weapons" are, in fact, both unarguably idiotic arguments. Maybe I needed to...

Could be Brandi ****, but I am not entirely sure. I am sure that this is not a 1970s shot, as the site claims - this is definitely a 1980s scene.

Since it doesn't exist, it looks like nothing. Or John Cleese with a giant dildo attached to his head.

Show me where in the Constitution where it says I cannot stockpile nuclear weapons.

He might get 7 shots at parole, but they are only shots on paper. The guy is not getting out. Much ado about nothing.