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1. Marry the girl 2. Go ahead and bet everything on the Cowboys in the superbowl against the Bills 3. Those plans you have to go to law school? Don't waste your time!! Go for something else. 4. If you do have to drop out of college, go ahead and join the navy.

Oh, no! Spidey is Michael Cera! :facepalm:

Because while he was ****** out *****, Igor made him his bitch, that's why

Damn, I blew my cover as a ninja!!

So that means the guy should have kicked you a lot harder, right? :D

Is it wrong if I can't stop watching and laughing at that? I don't think so

Really? Dirk told me he sent you the invitation. It was a wild weekend. Sorry you missed it. I'd never been at Dirk's before. I expected the semen smell at his place to be a bit stronger. Though some rooms did smell of a weird combination, ass and... was it pineapple?

...and then this is how it ended vZnE3hPb54E

Webster's should take note of those. By the way, Dirk, BB, when was the last time you all tried the swedish periscope?

Now, let's silently go over and paint "free candy" over their "undercover surveillance van" sign.

:sniff: :sniff: They still got that new boobs smell

This guy's kind of movies:D

If you're dressed like "Snookie" you can't go in there

So now I feel like having shrimp for dinner....

That explains this!

Douche pride!!

Why would someone buy this? To put his dick in that mouth? :dunno:

You know, this is actually some pretty good advice for those of us who like that smooth feel of a hairless ballsack. Thanks! :D

How many Koran burnings did we have before September 11, 2001? None. They hated us already. Haters gonna ****.

What a dickhead!

Got that right, 72 Central and South American immigrants, men and women, going through Mexico, found executed in a ranch a few miles south of the border. It's in Spanish but you'll get the idea. I think I saw this on the news here in the U.S. I don't know if it was mentioned in Mexican news...

Yup, Michael Bay in his next movie

For some reason, now I'm in the mood for some chinese food

Yup, he should have gotten his flamethrower

I **** to sound cold blooded but better them than me...

He who is without sin cast the first stone.... Are Iranians really without sin?

And why do the all powerful oil companies keep drilling way off shore when we got lots of places on land where it's a lot easier to drill? Oh, because the Sierra Club opposes that! So I guess oil companies don't have as many congressmen in their pockets as the Sierra Club.

Damn it, Dirk!! :*****:

Is that how "Code Pink" got it's name? It should be "Code Cottage Cheese"

These girls should take this test: http://bonus.club28282.com/template_16/step1.aspx I'm pretty sure they're his type

"Didn't shave because he was too busy"... okay, the shoe fit

Get a room, you two! :1orglaugh

Is this why I keep finding hair in my McD's fries?

Of course. There can only be one.....

"So for this Christmas, I want a flute. I've been a good little girl...I mean, boy."

I do think it's possible. A couple years ago I dodged a major bullet, met a girl who was kind of chunky but cute but she wasn't interested in a relationship, fast forward a couple years later... :eek:

That's not the end, it ends with her keeping the house and (thankfully) the **** too!

I love medium rare steaks!

Just came to fart in your homepage! Thanks for the rep! :D

Is that a Cthulhu shaped dildo?

:D :*****:

1Oc5B0l3f0s

Is that the title for the new Erich Von Daniken book? Sounds like a must read

Is that what he meant when he said "I'll get drive thru" in Bathman Forever?

I guess he had the bat-munchies.

Loser becomes dinner!! Yum, yum!! :yummie:

"see you at school tomorrow", that says everything about his level of maturity, probably junior high, just like the rest of us here

After seeing some of those ads about "smoking = thin and/or fit", is anyone else starting to think that there's a connection between the current increasing rates of obesity and the decrease in smoking? I mean, McD's has been around for quite a while. Is there anyone here who smokes and is...

Kandahar Elementary School's "Titanic: The School Play"

Only halfway in? What? Too big to go all the way in? :D