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Personally when I'm on set I stand on my head for at least eight hours before my scene. The mass rush of ***** when returning to the right way up means I can convert a semi lob to a hard on in nano seconds and keep it for at least 45 seconds. Lucky ladies.

I'm quite happy for HC to win. I can then say I've met the President of the USA. Far better than just meeting her with the first lady title. Part of me hopes that Trump wins purely because he is a fucking idiot.

England clear favourites for the title.

A dreadful thing has taken place in Brussels today, but let us not forget the fucking weirdo American that will shoot a number of people in a cinema or school this year and every year. Happy Christmas.

Understandable :)

The problem with the good ol' US of A is that 95% of the population should not be given the chance to vote. They are too stupid. It is with this policy that 99% of the world, and 100% of ***** life in the universe and beyond think you are idiots.

One smack around the head, two fingers up each nostrel. You'll be ****** like the girl. My left gonad has more qualifications than you. Idiot.

Speak English please.

At some point TheWhiteDevil will pass on. He is not a legend in any shape or form. Just a turd.

I would travel back in time and assemble the following historic names - Napoleon, Billy 'the' ***, Socrates, Sigmund Freud, Genghis Khan, Joan of Arc, Abraham Lincoln & Ludwig van Beethoven. This should ensure I get and A+ in history and avoid going to military school.

..or its just a **** song.

His ****** (Sir Alex Ferguson) will insist he returns to the mighty Reds. £500,000 a week, piece of **** for United. Spurs are truly shocking I might add.

Nice necklace.

Van Gaal out.

My gut feeling is Man Utd will win 5-0. Rashford to end his one game goal drought with a hat-trick.

Cheers to the Front wheel skids and Gooners today for opening the door for Manchester United stride through to the title (well maybe third at a push).

Front wheel skids bottle it as usual. Gooners bottle it as usual. The fucking blue noses bottle it as usual. Title race on Man United v The Foxes. Still a good chance the scum will be relegated this season.

A gentleman never tells.

I conclusively disagree with everything you have stated. Close to Versailles, close to mongoloidville more like.

Some say United have no hope of the title, others say LVG out. I have never been one to utter such nonsense. Rashford is the new messiah.

Has Rachel Ray survived the weekend?

I have compiled thousands of stats, reports, form and visual evidence of how teams have played this season. The data I have collected conclusively shows that Liverpool will get relegated next season.

I take it the martini was shaken not stirred :)

Rooney out for 6 weeks. Martial will no doubt be thrown up front as a lone striker. This is currently not his best position for us. Wide left or right he has excelled in recent games. So with this in mind LVG's next option is Fellaini up top. Oh bollocks.

Beautiful pics.

Sunderland with the upset? The game went as normal. United shite. Get rid of LVG, we don't need the fucking special one either. Give it to Giggs.

Those tits require some Vimto on them (in my opinion). I rather like Vimto.

We're currently boring the life out of the Navy by naming everything after UK towns and cities. The days of HMS Fingerblast are long gone.

Room for one more at your dining table?

Wear a Spiderman outfit.

Talking of cocktails what's your favourite one? I enjoy many types but if I was stuck on a desert island with only one ******** it would have to be a ****** Mary.

I would have gone for the Siberian Mule myself :)

You cannot beat a damn good burger. Just avoid the big chains and you will not go wrong.

England. No sheep shagger, sweaty sock or bogtrotter ***** in me.

Yep, on the way to getting rather wellied. I'll skip the **** and go straight for the **** list to.

I had a look at their website. Food looks great. Disappointed the best they could come up with on imported **** from the UK was Kaliber!

I've had white asparagus in Germany a few times. They fucking love the stuff.

Should anyone that believes in Heaven & Hell be allowed to have a ***? It's essentially declaring that you are a mongaloid.

Why would anyone want to go off and become a bog trotter?

Yep, a bit of Masuimi for me as well.

Personal message to Louis Van Gaal - please, please, please fuck off.

Lovely ladies :) I had to endure a Burn's night last night with some Scottish friends (there is not an ounce of Scottish ***** in me). I enjoyed the haggis but paying the price today for too much malt ******!

I'm starting to think Man United could do it.

I think the closest thing we have to this in the UK (thanks to our Indian friends) is sheek or shami kebab. Fantastic with a bit of salad and some mint raita.

.......and as always Good always triumphs over Evil.

That time of the year again 14.05 today - Man United against Liverpool, or as it's more commonly known - Good versus Evil.

Although the Rhino is clearly not JustBC, I suspect the smell is the same.

Yeah, Masuimi Max. A very tidy woman.

Paint is still there. Look for it properly.

I **** cats. Run the fucking thing over.