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I agree...too soon! Let the other 50 or so women come forward so that SNL or Jon Stewart feels like they can take a shot...then you can go back to posting this...

We'll see...not sure just getting to 3k ahead of me is worth that much to me...lol JK...I'll work on it OK?

Your description is a far more exciting version of the events. I kept thinking that it must be 'real time' footage that they needed to edit to make it more dramatic, but the music playing kept throwing me off. Wow, I don't know why you boys like Star Trek so much, seems fairly lame from the...

I agree, no real text talk either like "how r u doin?" So I'm guessing most of these are paraphrased, but funny too. I've sent my fair share of ***** texts...I should post some of my 'better' ones.

I'd like to see a Lexus dodge that for you!

Thank you for the video Bella!

I picked Bruce, but being a girl it was because I thought he was the cutest on this list....take it for what you will.

I'm sure she would have appreciated either!

And that damn useless Frosty just sat there the whole time with a stupid look on his face while Santa was torched. I've heard of some jealous things in my life, but this takes the cake.

Wow! There might not be enough peanut butter in the world to make me forget that image!

Eww! Yucky, yucky, yuck, way to take a cute image and pervert it...oh wait...I guess we all do that...Still...yucky!

Thanks for the rep sweetie, but a sig with me in it is a loooong way off, lol. Nice try though!

Thanks for the girly thread rep, Stan. I love your sense of humor too, keep 'em coming!

Thanks for the rep Bio! The shirt will soon be yours!

I don't have any words for this...but wanting to post something witty and timely, this will have to suffice.

Thanks for the rep L!

I'm sure Seinfeld would have had no problem with this puffy shirt!

What slides down stairs...alone or in pairs...and makes a slinkity sound?

Not the best way to get the lime into the coconut!

Do I smell ******* on your breath?

After I read this I pictured a barbershop quartet....

It's like she's always watching me!

this is not what is meant by the term 'manscaping' I'm sure!

See...other people get tattoos on their feet...I'm not weird!

Gross!....she wearing socks with her sandals!

Is this movie getting Oscar buzz too?

I know, right!? Probably about to start a game of skee ball!

And of all of those one times it's happened to you....didn't you end up making her breakfast anyway?

I know, right!? Stop doing this to your pets people!

Great caption!

What a timely thread...

These are not very inspiring dreams! ***** about world peace and a place where purple has a flavor and my neighbors pull their damn barking dog in at night!

Reporter: How big is your dick again?

Didn't they close the road?

Can someone tell me why the Easter Bunny; who, presumably because of being a rabbit would have eaten a ton of carrots in his lifetime; would need glasses?

Best mention of a non related thread EVER! Thank you, by the way.

Sooo...does the supply of high five's run out periodically?

I just think those orange ones are the more recent *****....this guy is sick! :pukey:

The good news is, the peel and eat shrimp this year are going to be huge! Literally HUGE!

That was my first thought! LOL :rofl: Don't want to see that! The finished product looked great...and who said you couldn't buy a Christmas tree with food stamps?

Crazy in bed sounds better than loser in bed.....

I have a bridge to sell you too!

I would have sh*t my pants and hoped that crocks don't like to eat sh*t!

You were saying 34 double D for your Christmas gift, right?

The drivers are high?

New thread idea?

:rofl: You crack me up Stan!

Not scared. Now...if it was signed 'Chuck'.....then I'd be scared.

She should be dating this guy!

I will second those thoughts!