Why do Men Cheat

[DanielleRaeRocks]

When I first started in this industry, I was so naive. I thought "escorts" were something you would find on Cinemax After Dark. More shocking to learn was the high number of married men who pay for sex with escorts/providers.

Over the years, so many men have indicated that they truly "love" their beatuiful wife - yet, while at the same time handing me $300 per hour to rock their socks off in the sack. It was a hard sell for me to accpet that a man can "love" a woman and yet seek to have sex with other women- paying alot of money for the sex no less.

Some justify the extra-marital affiars on poor health of thier spouse/partner; some say their wives simply do not provide certain sexual services (mainly a good BJ)

Im interested in hearing opinions on this subject. Can a man be faithful to one woman?
Do those of you who are cheating - would you be ok wth your SO doing the same? xoxoxo

 

[Mr. Numb3rs]

i have NEVER cheated on any woman ive been with, yet i have been cheated on several times. the last one i was with lasted 5 years. i didnt even think of another female during sex once. in my opinion, guys that cheat do it because either "they can", or they dont have the proper commitment necessary to sustain a proper relationship. the sad part is, i could easily kick the garbage out of the guys that ive been screwed over with without any doubt...

 

[Facetious]

In many cases, women seem to age faster than men. I can sometimes feel like I'm in my mid twenties when in the company of women my age. It's not fair, I know.

So why are a considerable number of women aging faster than the men in the same age bracket? :dunno:
Does it have anything to do with womens' daily application and removal of makeup that stretches the skin around the eyes? I don't know, I don't read chick mags... any theories on this?

 

[Deepcover]

That's why I don't believe in marriage because husband and wife will eventually cheat. It's a part of nature. Imo men cheat because they let their dicks do the talking and can't resist, while women cheat because they're looking for the thrill in the chase.

 

[georges]

When I was with my woman 6 years ago, I have never ever cheated on her and nither had she cheated on me. We broke due to some character incompatibilities. When we first met, I told her my rules and she told me hers, we both made each other promises which we have kept. I am single now but I am also looking for the love of my life. If I am with someone, I will never go look somewhere else. But if she does, I will get my revenge on her and on the guy that was with her in bed. I never play with feelings, never ever. If you are single then you can do what you want but when you are in a relationship, it is dangerous to screw up a long term established relationship.

 

[TheOrangeCat]

I've cheated on both my long time exes .. but, in both cases the cheating took place when things were already pretty rocky in both relationships. Now, that's not an excuse, nor do I attempt to mitigate the damage cheating does (discovered or undiscovered) to both parties, but I remember in both cases thinking afterwards that the cheat was the beginning of the end, simply because I did not and do not want to cheat, I don't see it as anything other than a betrayal ... so for me to do it - to betray my relationship - was a huge signal that the relationship did not hold enough meaning for me to survive the both of us.

In my new relationship, things are a lot different.

We are totally open with one another, share all our fantasies, fixations, kinks, curiosities, limits .. neither of us would ever be afraid to ask the other a question about expanding our adventurousness or intimacy; we both know that if the response is negative, it is not negative against US, not a judgement on each other(s)(secret worlds) .. Merely a statement, made inside an atmosphere of trust, that lets us explore the boundaries of each other - physically, emotionally and mentally.

So where is this going with respect to cheating .... ? Well, in the place I now found myself in, what's the point?

If I want something, I ask for it and - 98% of the time - get it (and visa versa). I have no fear of rejection or judgment, as I am accepted for exactly who I am and exactly what my needs are. And the same is true for my partner.

In such an environment of openness, cheating seems a distant impossibility.

I guess where I'm going is that cheating - in my experience - always seems to emerge out of secrets and silence; out of the unsaid and the unfulfilled. Out of a lack of trust and respect.

Communication and fearlessness are the key, IMHO. Grasp both those nettles by the stem, and I predict a relationship that by its very nature precludes the surface area of risk that cheating seems to emerge from.

And that's all I have to say about that

 

[Rattrap]

For the topic's question, 'why do men cheat?' I was going to say something similar to:

That's why I don't believe in marriage because husband and wife will eventually cheat. It's a part of nature. Imo men cheat because they let their dicks do the talking and can't resist, while women cheat because they're looking for the thrill in the chase.

My answer would have been: the biological urge to sleep with as many partners as possible being constrained into the extreme opposite of the relatively new concept of monogamy. I.e., there's a natural drive to do so. Not to say I condone the dishonesty of the act - though we are animals, we do have the ability put aside our nature. Sometimes this can be done in a healthy manner. Often it's not. But that's a bit of a topic in of itself, so I won't go there.

Over the years, so many men have indicated that they truly "love" their beatuiful wife - yet, while at the same time handing me $300 per hour to rock their socks off in the sack. It was a hard sell for me to accpet that a man can "love" a woman and yet seek to have sex with other women- paying alot of money for the sex no less.

I imagine in many if not most instances, there's usually some decline in the relationship already anyway - a fellow in question may love his spouse more out of habit than any particular passion there might have been in the beginning.

Im interested in hearing opinions on this subject. Can a man be faithful to one woman?

Of course. People do it all the time.

Do those of you who are cheating - would you be ok wth your SO doing the same? xoxoxo

As my ma used to say, 'cheating is defined by your partner'. That is to say, cheating for me will always be defined as something outside of the boundaries of the relationship I've established with someone and is by default never okay. However, I rarely make monogamy a boundary in my relationships.

 

[squallumz]

honestly, i think you can love your girl and still cheat.

im not saying its nice or anything but its possible.

ive cheated on a girl here and there and it wasnt a pleasant experience for anyone. i ended up spilling my own beans on accident. lost all three in one move. two of them i loved.


i think an open marriage could work for some people. sex can be just sex. but thats totally NOT for everyone in anyway. in rare cases, sure. its totally possible. hell, look at swingers. they are some amazingly awesome people who fuck other people and yet remain in love with their partners.

 

[joilover]

Men cheat due to biological imperative. Men are hardwired to "spread their seed" as widely and as often as possible. Obviously it's avoidable (as has been mentioned in this thread) with the application of willpower, but the instinct is still there. The better question is; why is monogamy considered the norm? It's completely unnatural.

 

[helen]

I think I understand the appeal of escorts more than most women do, having partaken of their services myself. There's a certain safety in the exchange, when you know exactly why the other person is involved, and that you're both getting what you want. It's less emotionally complicated. And it doesn't hurt that they're probably better at sex than your current girlfriend. As far as I'm concerned, there's times in every relationship when both people will need to get away from it all for a little while, and I'd much rather have them paying someone for assistance on those occasions than to risk them falling seriously for someone else.

 

[tartanterrier]

Because our brains are in our dicks Simples

 

[Lolita_Borgia]

Human beings are not monogamous by nature, monogamy is something we have evolved into due to religious & social pressures. I for one could not think of anything more sexually stifling than having sex with only 1 & the same person for an extended length of time... Besides it is also a basic survival instinct; the more we fuck the better chance we have of continuing the species. There are monogamous species of animals as well as promiscuous ones; sometimes it is only one sex that is promiscuous. In our species I would definitely class 'both' the sexes as promiscuous!

 

[joilover]

Human beings are not monogamous by nature, monogamy is something we have evolved into due to religious & social pressures. I for one could not think of anything more sexually stifling than having sex with only 1 & the same person for an extended length of time... Besides it is also a basic survival instinct; the more we fuck the better chance we have of continuing the species. There are monogamous species of animals as well as promiscuous ones; sometimes it is only one sex that is promiscuous. In our species I would definitely class 'both' the sexes as promiscuous!

This.

 

[zahidri]

well said, lol

 

[PlasmaTwa2]

Why do women cheat?

 

[Waterline]

I think it is because most men can't confide in their spouse and open up to them. Now, it may also be that they love their woman, but she isn't into doing some of the things that he "needs".

 

[Harley Spencer]

Yes, men are capable of not cheating. I've dated multiple men that haven't cheated on me. My current guy has never strayed, and we've been together for 2 1/2 years. That being said, I have cheated on some of my exes. It was always due to the same basic reason: I was not fulfilled in my relationship.

Guy 1: We had been dating for almost two years, and our relationship was rocky as hell. We argued and had screaming matches every single day. I never had any intention of cheating on him, but it ended up happening because I felt like he didn't care about me. We were apart more than together, there were rumors that he was seeing another girl, he was a total mommy's boy, he was constantly lying to me, etc. Eventually, I cheated and left him. It was for the best.

Guy 2: He was a total pussy. He wouldn't let me hang out with my friends for whatever stupid reason. He didn't like me smoking cigs, so at one point I quit, and then when I started again he gave me shit for it. Sometimes he wouldn't have sex with me for whatever reason. After some time, I started rebelling against him and doing what I wanted to do. If I wanted to go see my friends on a weekend, I would. He didn't like it, but I did it anyway. Then I cheated on him once when I was drunk (I did a full out strip show for two friends and ended up sleeping with the one). Then we broke up.

Guy 3: He was a total dick to me. Awesome boyfriend when he wanted to be, but... it just wasn't working out. He put his friends before me, put his parents before me, only ever took me out to dinner or to see a movie once every couple months, we constantly argued, I was depressed... there were so many problems. The first time I cheated on him, it was for Guy 2 that I just talked about, and I also cheated on him with a second guy while playing strip poker. The second time we dated, I didn't cheat on him, but I did break up with him for another guy, which is the guy I am currently with.


So I've cheated on three boyfriends. I've had more boyfriends that have cheated on me than I've cheated on guys. Let's see... at least 6 of my exes, that I know about, cheated on me.

Like others have said, men are biologically programmed to mate with multiple women so they can spread their seed. Women are also biologically programmed for that, but we are also wired to want to stay with a particular man for some period of time so that he can help take care of the baby.

Monogamy is from a different part of our brain. It can happen and it does happen.


What it all comes down to is the two people in the relationship: Satisfaction, happiness, adventure, safety, comfort, will power, and many other factors play an important role in whether or not two particular people will work together. If one of them strays, it's not usually for the simple act of straying, it's because something within the relationship isn't working out.

 

[Krazy4Kobe]

Like others have said, men are biologically programmed to mate with multiple women so they can spread their seed. Women are also biologically programmed for that, but we are also wired to want to stay with a particular man for some period of time so that he can help take care of the baby.

Monogamy is from a different part of our brain. It can happen and it does happen.


What it all comes down to is the two people in the relationship: Satisfaction, happiness, adventure, safety, comfort, will power, and many other factors play an important role in whether or not two particular people will work together. If one of them strays, it's not usually for the simple act of straying, it's because something within the relationship isn't working out.

Thanks for typing that so I didn't have to. :thumbsup:



p.s. -- when's the next poker game?

 

[LukeEl]

I believe in monogamy, and being a one woman guy. If you get bored with the same woman all the time ask her to wear an outfit, or wig, that's why roleplaying was invented.

 

[Harley Spencer]

Thanks for typing that so I didn't have to. :thumbsup:



p.s. -- when's the next poker game?

I don't get out much anymore. Next poker game probably won't be happening again until I go on a vacation with friends, which probably won't be until next year. I do miss playing cards!