Ace Boobtoucher
Founder and Captain of the Douchepatrol
Twilight, the Jonas Brothers, getting blue balls, misfires and stovepipes, The Mighty Boosh, no music on MTV, Madonna, ****** food, putting milk or Sunny D back in the fridge with one swallow, Cash for Clunkers, Obamacare (not reform itself, just the name.), movie hype, writing reports, Desert heat with no A/C, Max Hardcore, World Series of Poker winners, Michael Bay, my ******* ******** all my port, other people's farts (my own are awesome), wet dogs, scotch, improperly prepared cappucino, cigars, Bank of America, non kosher hotdogs, current ammunition prices, Wal-Mart, Swine flu panic, Palestine, Rosie O'Donnell, Rosie Perez, Roseanne Arnold, Rosey Grier, Roseanna by Toto and the way the Sopranos ended.