Post a funny joke or else you are one of those dweebs that wear pleated pants
- Thread starter Jack Davenport
- Start date
GodsEmbryo
Closed Account
Thought you'd like that one.
The other ones I found about Finns are mainly drinking jokes.
Three horny blonde cheerleaders with big tits decide to offer up their pussies to the star running back, the star wide receiver and the star quarterback.
So they take the three to a hotel to get fucked.
They check in at the hotel and go to their rooms.
But their parents get worried for them and go looking for them.
They find the hotel and go inside.
They go up into the hallway and hear the three girls.
From the running back’s room they hear a loud scream. They barge into the room and shout,
"Why are you screaming?".
The blonde girl replies, "because his cock is so fuckin’ big and it hurts!".
Then, in the wide receivers room they here giggling, so they bust into the room and shout,
"Why are you giggling?".
The hot sexy blonde says, "because his fuckin' cock so fuckin’ big and hard and the fuckin’ thing tickles!".
Then, the parents listen and listen, but can’t hear the last blonde babe, so they ask the other two where she is.
The girls show them to the quarterback’s room and kick down the door, to find the last of the three blonde girls in bed,
on her back, with her legs spread wide getting fucked hard.
Her parents ask her, "why the fuck weren’t you screaming, or giggling?".
The hot blonde cheerleader with the quarterbacks cum still dripping from the corners of her mouth immediately answered,
"But you told me not to talk with my mouth full!"
So they take the three to a hotel to get fucked.
They check in at the hotel and go to their rooms.
But their parents get worried for them and go looking for them.
They find the hotel and go inside.
They go up into the hallway and hear the three girls.
From the running back’s room they hear a loud scream. They barge into the room and shout,
"Why are you screaming?".
The blonde girl replies, "because his cock is so fuckin’ big and it hurts!".
Then, in the wide receivers room they here giggling, so they bust into the room and shout,
"Why are you giggling?".
The hot sexy blonde says, "because his fuckin' cock so fuckin’ big and hard and the fuckin’ thing tickles!".
Then, the parents listen and listen, but can’t hear the last blonde babe, so they ask the other two where she is.
The girls show them to the quarterback’s room and kick down the door, to find the last of the three blonde girls in bed,
on her back, with her legs spread wide getting fucked hard.
Her parents ask her, "why the fuck weren’t you screaming, or giggling?".
The hot blonde cheerleader with the quarterbacks cum still dripping from the corners of her mouth immediately answered,
"But you told me not to talk with my mouth full!"
Elwood70
Torn & Frayed.
A linguistics professor says during a lecture that, “In English, a double negative forms a positive. But in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, in no language in the world can a double positive form a negative.” But then a voice from the back of the room piped up, “Yeah, right.”
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Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.
This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
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Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.
This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
Elwood70
Torn & Frayed.
In the interest of full disclosure, I'll say right out that I got this from the other thread, and that I originally posted it. Also, I'll do it again....happily.
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Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong. Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose!
Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins,
cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick!:
"Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling!" He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast,
steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table eating. Jack asks, "Son. what happened last night?"
"Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door."
Confused he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean, I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?" His son replies, "Oh THAT!... Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, lady, I'm married!"
Broken Coffee Table $39.99
Hot Breakfast $4.20
Two Aspirins $0.38
Saying the right thing at the right time . . Priceless
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Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong. Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose!
Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins,
cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick!:
"Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling!" He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast,
steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table eating. Jack asks, "Son. what happened last night?"
"Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door."
Confused he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean, I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?" His son replies, "Oh THAT!... Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, lady, I'm married!"
Broken Coffee Table $39.99
Hot Breakfast $4.20
Two Aspirins $0.38
Saying the right thing at the right time . . Priceless
Three ducks walk into a bar.
'Say, what's your name?' the bartender asked the first duck.
'Huey,' was the reply.
'How's your day been, Huey?'
'Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day. What else could a duck want?' said Huey.
'Oh. That's nice,' said the bartender.
He turned to the second duck, 'Hi, and what's your name?'
'Dewey,' came the answer from duck number two.
'So how's your day been, Dewey! ?' he asked.
'Great. Lovely day. I've had a ball too. Been in and out of puddles all day myself. What else could a duck want?'
The bartender turned to the third duck and said, 'So, you must be Louie?'
'No,' she said, batting her eyelashes. 'My name is Puddles.'
'Say, what's your name?' the bartender asked the first duck.
'Huey,' was the reply.
'How's your day been, Huey?'
'Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day. What else could a duck want?' said Huey.
'Oh. That's nice,' said the bartender.
He turned to the second duck, 'Hi, and what's your name?'
'Dewey,' came the answer from duck number two.
'So how's your day been, Dewey! ?' he asked.
'Great. Lovely day. I've had a ball too. Been in and out of puddles all day myself. What else could a duck want?'
The bartender turned to the third duck and said, 'So, you must be Louie?'
'No,' she said, batting her eyelashes. 'My name is Puddles.'
Lolita_Borgia
Official Checked Star Member
What happened to the dwarf when he ran between Snow Whites legs?
He got a clit on the ear & a flap across the face!
He got a clit on the ear & a flap across the face!
A man was eating in a fancy restaurant, and there was a gorgeous blonde with nice tits eating at the next table.
He had been checking her out all night, but lacked the nerve to go talk to her. Suddenly she sneezed and her glass eye
went flying out of its socket towards the man. With lightning quick reflexes, he caught it in mid-air.
''Oh my gosh, I am so sorry,'' she said as she popped her eye back in the socket. ''Let me buy you dinner to make it up to you.''
They enjoyed a wonderful dinner together and afterwards the woman invited him back to her place for a drink. They went back
to her house, and after several drinks, she took him into her bedroom and began undressing him. The couple had wild, passionate sex
many times during the night. The next morning when he awoke, she had already gotten up and brought him breakfast in bed.
The guy was amazed and said ''You know, you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?''
''No, she replied. "You just happened to catch my eye!''
He had been checking her out all night, but lacked the nerve to go talk to her. Suddenly she sneezed and her glass eye
went flying out of its socket towards the man. With lightning quick reflexes, he caught it in mid-air.
''Oh my gosh, I am so sorry,'' she said as she popped her eye back in the socket. ''Let me buy you dinner to make it up to you.''
They enjoyed a wonderful dinner together and afterwards the woman invited him back to her place for a drink. They went back
to her house, and after several drinks, she took him into her bedroom and began undressing him. The couple had wild, passionate sex
many times during the night. The next morning when he awoke, she had already gotten up and brought him breakfast in bed.
The guy was amazed and said ''You know, you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?''
''No, she replied. "You just happened to catch my eye!''
What does a nosy pepper do?
It gets jalapeno business.
Thank you. I'm here all week.
It gets jalapeno business.
Thank you. I'm here all week.
Grape! Grape! Grape!
Don't ya mean rape!?!?!?
No there was a bunch of em.....
Don't ya mean rape!?!?!?
No there was a bunch of em.....
Jagger69
Three lullabies in an ancient tongue
A proctologist who, between appointments, was out at the reception desk of his office when the UPS driver arrived with a package for him. After taking the delivery, the doctor was asked to sign for it whereupon realizing that he had only a rectal probe in this shirt pocket he lamented, "Damn it! Some asshole's got my pen!".
"H, Aspen, I’m fuckin’ wasted but this condom in my pocket doesn't have to be."
http://barechicks.net/?p=7191
http://barechicks.net/?p=7191
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SirHumper is doing stellar work on this thread among others.
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