Post a funny joke or else you are one of those dweebs that wear pleated pants

[Supafly]

LOL

Paddy's wife is getting sick of him returning from the pub every night with sick all down his shirt. She threatens him 'if it happens again, you're out'. So the next night Paddy's in the pub with his friend Mick and says 'I don't know what I'm going to do. I have to have a kebab after all that beer and then I just throw up.' Mick says 'try the old £10 note trick. When you get in with sick on your shirt, tell her it was a complete stranger threw up over you and he's given you a tenner to compensate. Works with my wife everytime.'
So Paddy leaves the pub, has a kebab, the inevitable happens and his wife confronts him: 'right, on your bike'. 'Now, hold your horses' says Paddy 'I've not been sick at all, it was a geezer in the pub and he gave me this tenner'. 'That's not a tenner' says his wife 'that's a twenty pound note.'
'Oh, yes' says Paddy 'the other ten pounds was for s*itting in my pants.'

 

[Supafly]

A man goes to a costume party wearing nothing but his underwear and carrying a woman on his back.
His friends see him and ask “Hey man, what are you supposed to be?”
He replies “Oh, I’m dressed as a turtle”
His friend responds “A turtle? How are you supposed to be a turtle? And who is that woman on your back?”
The man replies “Oh, that’s Michelle”

 

[SirHumper]

Ellie Idol --- :rubbel:

Question: What are the three shortest words in the English language?

Answer: "Is it in."

 

[SirHumper]

Life is like toilet paper, you're either on a roll or taking fuckin' shit from some goddamn asshole.