Need some ex-girlfriend advice
- Thread starter ToastedOats
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Re: This whole "percent" non-sense (continued) ...
That's dandy. But the fact you don't understand it doesn't mean it doesn't exist, and some of us that DO understand it are discussing how it negatively impacts relationships.
And in summary, although we didn't use identical language, my position on the issue is identical to LBT's, which is:
That's dandy. But the fact you don't understand it doesn't mean it doesn't exist, and some of us that DO understand it are discussing how it negatively impacts relationships.
And in summary, although we didn't use identical language, my position on the issue is identical to LBT's, which is:
Sorry LBP, it went to the feds so they could purchase more golden parachutes.
I'm afraid you'll have to settle for a MOTW nomination LOL
Why did you break up? And who initiated it?
I'm afraid you'll have to settle for a MOTW nomination LOL
Why did you break up? And who initiated it?
Hey ...
Just kinda funny when someone disagrees when I was actually saying something very similar to what they did.
If people want to comment on my post, they should actually read it. It was actually only one paragraph here. They are also free to ignore it too. They have that choice.Yeah, if you have a couple hours to kill.
j/k
Just kinda funny when someone disagrees when I was actually saying something very similar to what they did.
Actually define what 90%/"holding back" v. 100%/"not holding back" is?
Please define what this "90%" v "100%", this "holding back" v. "not holding back" non-sense is!
Until then, I will see it as some arbitrary, undefined, non-specific non-sense that has not been explained.
There is no "single variable x," there is only countless variables of what people do and do not want to do.
There is no "I do everything" and "I only do some things" without actually explaining.
That's why I see this as non-sense, movies-like terminology, etc...
I guess they gave it "100%" and got the babe, while the other guys that gave only "90%" escape the mortal doom of "having to put up with that." If that's 100% v. 90%, I call it dumb v. smart.
Had a woman like that from a good year before the end of high school through first year of college.
She was the exact same type, really just using me to cry on, very close to me, but the second I stepped on foot further, she had a problem.
She married on a whim, got divorced, came back crying to me, etc... several years later (by then I was engaged to my wife to be).
At that point, I was like, "hello, you didn't want me in your life any more because you couldn't handle any thought that I liked you."
I'm very good at "just being friends" and not bothering a woman with my emotions, so that was 100% on her.
If there is 1 piece of advice I can offer any guy, don't pass up other women because you're waiting on another.
I didn't while she was playing this game with me, even though I very much liked her, I dated others.
And she even through that at me, "Why were you dating if you like me?"
Sigh, it's funny how both eccentric and selfish people can be when it comes to love they don't want to share.
If there is anything not to "limit" yourselves to, it's don't "limit" your love of women when you're seeking one woman who won't give it.
Did you even read my response?
You have qualified the "percentage" non-sense 0%
Please define what this "90%" v "100%", this "holding back" v. "not holding back" non-sense is!
Until then, I will see it as some arbitrary, undefined, non-specific non-sense that has not been explained.
There is no "single variable x," there is only countless variables of what people do and do not want to do.
There is no "I do everything" and "I only do some things" without actually explaining.
That's why I see this as non-sense, movies-like terminology, etc...
Damn straight!
That's the key, their women "gets testy" if they do not. They've forgotten what's important, and married a woman who doesn't realize what is important. Sad, pathetic, true.
I guess they gave it "100%" and got the babe, while the other guys that gave only "90%" escape the mortal doom of "having to put up with that." If that's 100% v. 90%, I call it dumb v. smart.
Hey man, totally understand, a lot of us have been there ourselves.
Had a woman like that from a good year before the end of high school through first year of college.
She was the exact same type, really just using me to cry on, very close to me, but the second I stepped on foot further, she had a problem.
She married on a whim, got divorced, came back crying to me, etc... several years later (by then I was engaged to my wife to be).
At that point, I was like, "hello, you didn't want me in your life any more because you couldn't handle any thought that I liked you."
I'm very good at "just being friends" and not bothering a woman with my emotions, so that was 100% on her.
If there is 1 piece of advice I can offer any guy, don't pass up other women because you're waiting on another.
I didn't while she was playing this game with me, even though I very much liked her, I dated others.
And she even through that at me, "Why were you dating if you like me?"
Sigh, it's funny how both eccentric and selfish people can be when it comes to love they don't want to share.
If there is anything not to "limit" yourselves to, it's don't "limit" your love of women when you're seeking one woman who won't give it.
Again, I think you're over-simplifying it a bit ...
I mean, after six (6) years, you've virtually married, and realize what is and isn't important in a relationship.
I don't think you're giving yourself enough credit, I don't think you "held back."
You just realized that when it ended, you were like, "damn, I love her, but this is how it's just gonna be."
That's not "holding back." That's maturity and realizing that you can be content without her.
If women detect that you're still immature and latch on hard as fuck, or just totally love and are totally into her, or whatever "100%" is defined by others, then she'll take advantage of that.
My wife and I "reset" twice into our early dating.
At 2 weeks, she tried to slow it down -- and guess what? I balled like a child right in public (total George Castanza style.
About 3-4 weeks after that, my parents freak'ed out and thought I was getting to serious while I was still 2 years out from graduation, and tried to get me to call it off.
We talked and realized, hey, we loved one another, it was a lot of fun, so let's stop with the "worries."
If people are "worried" about what a relationship is or "scared" or otherwise "oh, this is too much," then it's a burden.
If people just enjoy one another, and don't give a fuck what it is, it really is love, which shouldn't be work.
It took a few weeks here and there when my wife and I first met each other to figure that out.
And no one was going to tell us otherwise .
Trust me, my parents and even my friends really tried to break that one up, hard, at times.
Never understood it, but I honestly think people can be envious of how happy someone is, and the fact that they don't care what other people think.
Then again, by age 15, I really didn't care what my friends and my parents thought and had my own values, so this was just another chip in that bucket.
Don't let anyone tell you what you should and should do when it comes to your life, as long as you actually stick to your values.
Women are just another aspect of that.
Sounds like you were just smart, not that you "held back" and didn't through everything into it.
I mean, after six (6) years, you've virtually married, and realize what is and isn't important in a relationship.
I don't think you're giving yourself enough credit, I don't think you "held back."
You just realized that when it ended, you were like, "damn, I love her, but this is how it's just gonna be."
That's not "holding back." That's maturity and realizing that you can be content without her.
Again, I think it's just a sign of maturity, and she knew to expect that.
If women detect that you're still immature and latch on hard as fuck, or just totally love and are totally into her, or whatever "100%" is defined by others, then she'll take advantage of that.
My wife and I "reset" twice into our early dating.
At 2 weeks, she tried to slow it down -- and guess what? I balled like a child right in public (total George Castanza style
.About 3-4 weeks after that, my parents freak'ed out and thought I was getting to serious while I was still 2 years out from graduation, and tried to get me to call it off.
We talked and realized, hey, we loved one another, it was a lot of fun, so let's stop with the "worries."
If people are "worried" about what a relationship is or "scared" or otherwise "oh, this is too much," then it's a burden.
If people just enjoy one another, and don't give a fuck what it is, it really is love, which shouldn't be work.
It took a few weeks here and there when my wife and I first met each other to figure that out.
And no one was going to tell us otherwise .
Trust me, my parents and even my friends really tried to break that one up, hard, at times.
Never understood it, but I honestly think people can be envious of how happy someone is, and the fact that they don't care what other people think.
Then again, by age 15, I really didn't care what my friends and my parents thought and had my own values, so this was just another chip in that bucket.
Don't let anyone tell you what you should and should do when it comes to your life, as long as you actually stick to your values.
Women are just another aspect of that.
Okay, I guess I don't understand this either ...
But I guess I don't understand the "bad guy" and "nice guy" terms, because it's not black'n white.
From the standpoint of some people, I could be called a "nice guy."
But from the standpoint of some people, I could also be called a "bad guy."
I mean, I had my share of women I just wanted to "have fun with."
I wasn't there to listen to their problems, I was there to get our collective rocks off.
I had more than a few women that some would say I "used" them because I couldn't stand their personality.
But I really tried to let them know I wasn't interested in anything long term.
A lot of alleged "bad guys" are really guys that are honest, and say what they do and don't want.
It's the women that make them into "bad guys" in how they talk about them, ignoring the fact that they knew what they were getting into.
Or was that your point as well? If so, we agree.
Again, I only see honesty and dishonesty, and if I'm an "honest" but "bad guy" for unloading with a number of women that I didn't stick with long or listen to much, so be it.
Oh, oh, and here's my favorite comment, "I mean, he wasn't even that good looking, but I figured I'd throw him a night or two."
Ha! Yeah, I wasn't much of a catch, but I love it when they would say, "oh, I really didn't care for him" when I couldn't stand your fucked up views on life and personality woman!
I love how they have to "excuse it" or come out and claim, "oh, he wanted me, but I had enough."
Just reminded me why I didn't want to be with them and stopped calling them back in the first place, they can say what they want, I could care less (and found it humorous).
Take note of what women say about past lovers and boyfriends, because they'll be saying it about you next!
One other thing: If the woman talks about how her past boyfriend "tried to rape" her, stay the fuck away.
It may be true, but most women who say that with a straight face (and not in a real, rare, emotional disclosure) ... well, it's not worth the chance she'll say it about you next too.
I can understand some of that logic.
But I guess I don't understand the "bad guy" and "nice guy" terms, because it's not black'n white.
From the standpoint of some people, I could be called a "nice guy."
But from the standpoint of some people, I could also be called a "bad guy."
I mean, I had my share of women I just wanted to "have fun with."
I wasn't there to listen to their problems, I was there to get our collective rocks off.
I had more than a few women that some would say I "used" them because I couldn't stand their personality.
But I really tried to let them know I wasn't interested in anything long term.
A lot of alleged "bad guys" are really guys that are honest, and say what they do and don't want.
It's the women that make them into "bad guys" in how they talk about them, ignoring the fact that they knew what they were getting into.
Or was that your point as well? If so, we agree.
Again, I only see honesty and dishonesty, and if I'm an "honest" but "bad guy" for unloading with a number of women that I didn't stick with long or listen to much, so be it.
Oh, oh, and here's my favorite comment, "I mean, he wasn't even that good looking, but I figured I'd throw him a night or two."
Ha! Yeah, I wasn't much of a catch, but I love it when they would say, "oh, I really didn't care for him" when I couldn't stand your fucked up views on life and personality woman!
I love how they have to "excuse it" or come out and claim, "oh, he wanted me, but I had enough."
Just reminded me why I didn't want to be with them and stopped calling them back in the first place, they can say what they want, I could care less (and found it humorous).
Take note of what women say about past lovers and boyfriends, because they'll be saying it about you next!
One other thing: If the woman talks about how her past boyfriend "tried to rape" her, stay the fuck away.
It may be true, but most women who say that with a straight face (and not in a real, rare, emotional disclosure) ... well, it's not worth the chance she'll say it about you next too.
Re: Hey ...
Sorry. It's just that your posts are often rather 'War and Peace' like, length wise. I guess the one you referred to wasen't. My mistake.
ChefChiTown
The secret ingredient? MY BALLS
Re: Actually define what 90%/"holding back" v. 100%/"not holding back" is?
That is exactly why I will never, ever, ever, ever understand women. They say one thing, mean another.
What they say: "I just want somebody to love me for me."
What they mean: "I just want somebody to love me for me. But, they have to be perfect. They have to be hot, have a lot of money, be great in bed and let me do whatever I want to."
The funny thing is...most girls have already met the guy that they really want and have already become best friends with him. But, they just treat him like a bag of shit and ignore him. Why? Because they're idiots who can't even see perfection when it's right in front of them.
I wrote something in regards to this topic a while ago and I actually copied it into my shitty ass blog last night. People can click on my signature to see it. For some reason though, the formatting is all weird. I couldn't put spaces in between paragraphs. :dunno:
That is exactly why I will never, ever, ever, ever understand women. They say one thing, mean another.
What they say: "I just want somebody to love me for me."
What they mean: "I just want somebody to love me for me. But, they have to be perfect. They have to be hot, have a lot of money, be great in bed and let me do whatever I want to."
The funny thing is...most girls have already met the guy that they really want and have already become best friends with him. But, they just treat him like a bag of shit and ignore him. Why? Because they're idiots who can't even see perfection when it's right in front of them.
I wrote something in regards to this topic a while ago and I actually copied it into my shitty ass blog last night. People can click on my signature to see it. For some reason though, the formatting is all weird. I couldn't put spaces in between paragraphs. :dunno:
Best friend, best blowjob, best everything ...
But not all, that's one thing I do know.
In my case, my wife is my primo best friend and my former "best friend" (really more like my "longest known friend" from grade school) is the guy I go to our Alma Mater football games with (with my wife sitting next to me as well).
That's all he gets from me now, my wife gets 99.9% of my time in comparison.
I was talking to my wife (to be) just a few weeks into dating her.
We were having a really good conversation, very open, sometimes a little exposing, being very honest, frank.
Total "we're just close friends" type conversation, at least as others would describe it if they were listening in.
Maybe almost "how a brother could confide in a sister" type, as if she wouldn't tell others.
And then she went down on me, without warning, for the first time.
I passed out. I have never, ever passed out from a BJ, not even my first BJ.
But first BJ from her, BAM! I couldn't breath fast enough.
I didn't ask. I didn't even hint. Hell, I didn't even expect a BJ from her, not then, not ever.
We were close in intellectual conversation, in emotion, and in erotic lust.
Best friend.
Best blowjob.
Best everything.
I don't believe in this "love at first sight" non-sense.
I believe maybe "lust at first sight," and "possible compatibility at first sight."
But everything else goes with what it just is, what you make of it.
Men and women that don't see that and, worse yet, make a big deal out of everything else, that's their loss.
Do my wife and I have the same likes? Nope.
Do we always agree on many things? Oh hell no.
But we are honest, have great conversations, great emotions and great sex.
And I'm the guy, much to my wife (and all our friends astonishment), who won't have "make up sex" either!
I want sex when I feel good about what I've shared with my wife, not after I've just felt awful.
The fact that my wife is frugal as fuck, and has several degrees (brain), is just a bonus.
Especially in these financial times, she's a cheap liver, cheap lover, but is definitely not cheap in the intellect.
Our materials could be gone, no TV, etc... and we'd still have fun both in and out of bed for free.
Some women, possibly most, who knows.
But not all, that's one thing I do know.
Your spouse must be your best friend, or at least a type of "best friend" you can be 100% honest with (you can have more than one "best friend", there's nothing against that).
In my case, my wife is my primo best friend and my former "best friend" (really more like my "longest known friend" from grade school) is the guy I go to our Alma Mater football games with (with my wife sitting next to me as well).
That's all he gets from me now, my wife gets 99.9% of my time in comparison.
I was talking to my wife (to be) just a few weeks into dating her.
We were having a really good conversation, very open, sometimes a little exposing, being very honest, frank.
Total "we're just close friends" type conversation, at least as others would describe it if they were listening in.
Maybe almost "how a brother could confide in a sister" type, as if she wouldn't tell others.
And then she went down on me, without warning, for the first time.
I passed out. I have never, ever passed out from a BJ, not even my first BJ.
But first BJ from her, BAM! I couldn't breath fast enough.
I didn't ask. I didn't even hint. Hell, I didn't even expect a BJ from her, not then, not ever.
We were close in intellectual conversation, in emotion, and in erotic lust.
Best friend.
Best blowjob.
Best everything.
I don't believe in this "love at first sight" non-sense.
I believe maybe "lust at first sight," and "possible compatibility at first sight."
But everything else goes with what it just is, what you make of it.
Men and women that don't see that and, worse yet, make a big deal out of everything else, that's their loss.
Do my wife and I have the same likes? Nope.
Do we always agree on many things? Oh hell no.
But we are honest, have great conversations, great emotions and great sex.
And I'm the guy, much to my wife (and all our friends astonishment), who won't have "make up sex" either!
I want sex when I feel good about what I've shared with my wife, not after I've just felt awful.
The fact that my wife is frugal as fuck, and has several degrees (brain), is just a bonus.
Especially in these financial times, she's a cheap liver, cheap lover, but is definitely not cheap in the intellect.
Our materials could be gone, no TV, etc... and we'd still have fun both in and out of bed for free.
Re: Actually define what 90%/"holding back" v. 100%/"not holding back" is?
There are probably 500,000,000 women in the world in your age group.
So you know 1/10,000,000'th of women your relative age and you are judging them all?
Additionally (and this isn't directed at you per se), the minute a person assumes that the reason for all their failed relationships has to be the fault of everyone but them is the minute they end their chance at true love.
You have known maybe 50 women well enough to be certain of their personality makeup?
There are probably 500,000,000 women in the world in your age group.
So you know 1/10,000,000'th of women your relative age and you are judging them all?
Additionally (and this isn't directed at you per se), the minute a person assumes that the reason for all their failed relationships has to be the fault of everyone but them is the minute they end their chance at true love.
ChefChiTown
The secret ingredient? MY BALLS
Re: Actually define what 90%/"holding back" v. 100%/"not holding back" is?
I know exactly what you're saying, but...
Using your example of 50 women:
50/500,000,000 = .00001%
Unfortunately, I'm not going to meet all 500,000,000 women that make home on the face of the earth and get to know them. I'm only going to meet the women that I actually meet, which is 50.
50/50 = 100%
The reality points to 100% of women being like that (hypothetically). The unrealistic, think-positive point of view is just that...unrealistic.
It doesn't matter how many women are on the face of the earth. If every single girl I meet is a superficial, shallow, egotistical "princess", then every single girl I will ever know will be a superficial, shallow, egotistical "princess". That's the unfortunate reality.
I know exactly what you're saying, but...
Using your example of 50 women:
50/500,000,000 = .00001%
Unfortunately, I'm not going to meet all 500,000,000 women that make home on the face of the earth and get to know them. I'm only going to meet the women that I actually meet, which is 50.
50/50 = 100%
The reality points to 100% of women being like that (hypothetically). The unrealistic, think-positive point of view is just that...unrealistic.
It doesn't matter how many women are on the face of the earth. If every single girl I meet is a superficial, shallow, egotistical "princess", then every single girl I will ever know will be a superficial, shallow, egotistical "princess". That's the unfortunate reality.
Will E Worm
Conspiracy...
Re: Okay, I guess I don't understand this either ...
I'm talking about the guys that treat women like dirt, they never listen, they use them for sex, even if they don't like the girl they will still sleep with her, and so on.
But, they stay with these guys. I can't see why.
Maybe, they weren't interested in anything long term either, or they didn't think first.
I'm honest about what I do and don't want. But, I don't treat women like toys.
They have to try to excuse their actions. So, they don't seem like the town bicycle. Also, women seem to think any guy will go to bed with them. Narcissistic.
I do take note. I don't date women that sleep around. I don't sleep around. So, no one can say anything about me.
Because they don't know.
I'm the nice guy that is over looked and doesn't wait around for used goods.
I'm talking about the guys that treat women like dirt, they never listen, they use them for sex, even if they don't like the girl they will still sleep with her, and so on.
But, they stay with these guys. I can't see why.
Maybe, they weren't interested in anything long term either, or they didn't think first.
I'm honest about what I do and don't want. But, I don't treat women like toys.
They have to try to excuse their actions. So, they don't seem like the town bicycle. Also, women seem to think any guy will go to bed with them. Narcissistic.
Take note of what women say about past lovers and boyfriends, because they'll be saying it about you next!
One other thing: If the woman talks about how her past boyfriend "tried to rape" her, stay the fuck away.
It may be true, but most women who say that with a straight face (and not in a real, rare, emotional disclosure) ... well, it's not worth the chance she'll say it about you next too.
I do take note. I don't date women that sleep around. I don't sleep around. So, no one can say anything about me.
Because they don't know.
I'm the nice guy that is over looked and doesn't wait around for used goods.
Marlo Manson
Hello Sexy girl how your Toes doing?
I find it quite IRONIC too know your as mentally SHOOK as was I, when you carelessly without any good reason INSULTED MY MOTHER!!
I am sorry I have to say this! because Normally I would say I am sorry to hear about your situation with your (Ex-GF) and offer you some great advice and help you plan a guaranteed strategy on getting your girlfriend back..etc.
But do you remember that one thread when YOU displayed a definite LACK OF CLASS and instead of you so graciously insulting ME your real target!! you CHOSE too INSULT my MOTHER!! and then you didn't even have enough CLASS to apologize via PM?!?
I am certainly GLAD to know you EX-GIRLFRIEND realized your NOT a man!! I definitely hope the guy she was walking with is banging her senseless!!
Maybe that saying is true? you reap what you sew! :thefinger
I certainly hate that I had to getback @ you this way! but YOU not being MAN ENOUGH to extend an apology VIA PM's for insulting my mother is unforgivable! :dunno:
I am sorry I have to say this! because Normally I would say I am sorry to hear about your situation with your (Ex-GF) and offer you some great advice and help you plan a guaranteed strategy on getting your girlfriend back..etc.
But do you remember that one thread when YOU displayed a definite LACK OF CLASS and instead of you so graciously insulting ME your real target!! you CHOSE too INSULT my MOTHER!! and then you didn't even have enough CLASS to apologize via PM?!?
I am certainly GLAD to know you EX-GIRLFRIEND realized your NOT a man!! I definitely hope the guy she was walking with is banging her senseless!!
Maybe that saying is true? you reap what you sew! :thefinger
I certainly hate that I had to getback @ you this way! but YOU not being MAN ENOUGH to extend an apology VIA PM's for insulting my mother is unforgivable! :dunno:
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Re: Actually define what 90%/"holding back" v. 100%/"not holding back" is?
Well of my '50', I would say about 15-20% are 'superficial, shallow, egotistical princesses'. And I have travelled in some pretty rough circles.
Imo, either you are meeting the wrong kind of women and/or you are dating/befriending women that you are being too weak with, then they lose respect for you and walk all over you.
And that's not just shallow women. Almost everyone will eventually walk over you if you let them. That doesn't necessarily make them bad; just human.
Flawed and human. Like the rest of us.
Well of my '50', I would say about 15-20% are 'superficial, shallow, egotistical princesses'. And I have travelled in some pretty rough circles.
Imo, either you are meeting the wrong kind of women and/or you are dating/befriending women that you are being too weak with, then they lose respect for you and walk all over you.
And that's not just shallow women. Almost everyone will eventually walk over you if you let them. That doesn't necessarily make them bad; just human.
Flawed and human. Like the rest of us.
Marlo Manson
Hello Sexy girl how your Toes doing?
I find it quite IRONIC too know your as mentally SHOOK as was I, when you carelessly without any good reason INSULTED MY MOTHER!!
I am sorry I have to say this! because Normally I would say I am sorry to hear about your situation with your (Ex-GF) and offer you some great advice and help you plan a guaranteed strategy on getting your girlfriend back..etc.
But do you remember that one thread when YOU displayed a definite LACK OF CLASS and instead of you so graciously insulting ME your real target!! you CHOSE too INSULT my MOTHER!! and then you didn't even have enough CLASS to apologize via PM?!?
I am certainly GLAD to know you EX-GIRLFRIEND realized your NOT a man!! I definitely hope the guy she was walking with is banging her senseless!!
Maybe that saying is true? you reap what you sew!
I certainly hate that I had to getback @ you this way! but YOU not being MAN ENOUGH to extend an apology VIA PM's for insulting my mother is unforgivable! :dunno:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I am sorry I had too seek my vengeance through this thread, I feel bad that I had too do so, albeit, when you couldn't apologize too me via PM's for insulting my mother, I had NO other option!
I am not a bad person, I have feelings and you hurt them when you attacked, and insulted my mother!!
IMO we are even as long as you don't attack, insult any of my family again? as far as you and I! I will ignore you and vice versa you can do the same?
I treat people with courtesy, and respect, thats the same way I would like to be treated in return! it is definitely out of my character to attack and or insult somebody, but you invoked my vindictive side of vigilante justice!!
:rofl2: :hatsoff:
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ChefChiTown
The secret ingredient? MY BALLS
Re: Actually define what 90%/"holding back" v. 100%/"not holding back" is?
The women I meet are completely normal, everyday women. And no, not all women are as bad I might make them out to be, and I know that. It's just that almost 100% of the women I know are completely selfish and disrespectful when it comes to relationships.
They do walk over men, until they get to the point where they realize that constantly walking over people isn't going to make you happy. Then, after they realize how disrespectful they've been to the men in their lives, they try and change in order to fill the emptiness in their lives which, ironically, they caused all by themselves.
The women I meet are completely normal, everyday women. And no, not all women are as bad I might make them out to be, and I know that. It's just that almost 100% of the women I know are completely selfish and disrespectful when it comes to relationships.
They do walk over men, until they get to the point where they realize that constantly walking over people isn't going to make you happy. Then, after they realize how disrespectful they've been to the men in their lives, they try and change in order to fill the emptiness in their lives which, ironically, they caused all by themselves.
My first reply on this thread, so I thought I would cherry-pick a little:
Fuckin' A man! At his age, yes I would say he should do that. BUT, always keep your eyes open for the one that could be the right one. The one that understands and loves your personality and emotional make-up. Then drop the rest and start treating her like a princess. Sounds stupid or simplistic when I put it out there like that, but that's how I did it and it worked. It can be a rough road before you find the right one, though. I often got very depressed and felt all alone no matter how many Ms. Non-right's I was seeing.
I think it's not so much of being a good guy or a bad guy. It's about confidence. Other guys will see you as cocky and think you're a bad guy, but you can still treat girls nice. Give them what they want, but screen them in the early going to make sure that is what you want too. Most girls I was with, neither of us wanted a relationship and it worked out fine that way. If she wants a relationship, and you don't, break up once it starts getting there, rather than continuing to use them and start treating them like shit because you're not getting what you want. That is where the "bad guy" comes from.
And yeah, it happened a couple times where I wanted the relationship and they didn't. So they broke up with me. It hurt, but you just realize you've got to start over rather than make an ass of yourself. Keep them as an arms-length friend as others said. If they ever want to get back together with you, they will let you know. Don't contact them, let them contact you.
Very, very true. If you don't have this, the marriage will be fucked.
Fuckin' A man! At his age, yes I would say he should do that. BUT, always keep your eyes open for the one that could be the right one. The one that understands and loves your personality and emotional make-up. Then drop the rest and start treating her like a princess. Sounds stupid or simplistic when I put it out there like that, but that's how I did it and it worked. It can be a rough road before you find the right one, though. I often got very depressed and felt all alone no matter how many Ms. Non-right's I was seeing.
I think it's not so much of being a good guy or a bad guy. It's about confidence. Other guys will see you as cocky and think you're a bad guy, but you can still treat girls nice. Give them what they want, but screen them in the early going to make sure that is what you want too. Most girls I was with, neither of us wanted a relationship and it worked out fine that way. If she wants a relationship, and you don't, break up once it starts getting there, rather than continuing to use them and start treating them like shit because you're not getting what you want. That is where the "bad guy" comes from.
And yeah, it happened a couple times where I wanted the relationship and they didn't. So they broke up with me. It hurt, but you just realize you've got to start over rather than make an ass of yourself. Keep them as an arms-length friend as others said. If they ever want to get back together with you, they will let you know. Don't contact them, let them contact you.
Very, very true. If you don't have this, the marriage will be fucked.
In your defense ...
In all honesty, I don't go for even 80-90% of fuller figured women -- they have to be hourglass or stocky-apple, and a lot are straight-shaped, extra-gutted or oversized pear-spoon (neither my bag). It's as if they took the majority of unshapely actress/celebrity types and said, "oh, I'm just Julia Robers only not skinny." Ummm, I never found Julia Roberts remotely attractive or shapely, so what's your point?
At the risk of sounding like "the new crop of Gen-X old farts" (now that we're are all middle aged), I really think this is a Gen-Y thing. Gen-Y is huge, not merely just a crapload bigger than us Gen-X'ers, but even bigger than the Boomers! They also grew up in the '90s with all the celebrity fan fare and false wealth in their parents pockets, and really have their values fucked up over on the "selfish" side of the meter. There, I said it, I'm sure I've just started Gen warefare by doing so (especially given the make-up of this board ).
In any case, I agree that there are too many women like this now, way too many. Materialistic, selfish, inward focused. And people both blame our politicians for while looking to them to solve our problems? I think the finger should be pointed inward, not outward. But I'm one of those "in my prime income earning years, Libertarian-Capitalist" types, so I'm about free fucking and free market, and get the fuck out if you can't be responsible with both, as they both add up to the same problems.
In your defense, it's clear that a lot of women seem to run in these circles, and it's hard to find one who isn't. Even the "lesser appreciate beauties" are starting to get snobby these days from what I've seen, possibly because there is a sizeable cult following now.
In all honesty, I don't go for even 80-90% of fuller figured women -- they have to be hourglass or stocky-apple, and a lot are straight-shaped, extra-gutted or oversized pear-spoon (neither my bag). It's as if they took the majority of unshapely actress/celebrity types and said, "oh, I'm just Julia Robers only not skinny." Ummm, I never found Julia Roberts remotely attractive or shapely, so what's your point?
This is very true. Men do it too. In fact, I want to say I just see too many people do it period. But is that any different than the destructive nature we've seen with people, money and materials these days in the US?
At the risk of sounding like "the new crop of Gen-X old farts" (now that we're are all middle aged), I really think this is a Gen-Y thing. Gen-Y is huge, not merely just a crapload bigger than us Gen-X'ers, but even bigger than the Boomers! They also grew up in the '90s with all the celebrity fan fare and false wealth in their parents pockets, and really have their values fucked up over on the "selfish" side of the meter. There, I said it, I'm sure I've just started Gen warefare by doing so (especially given the make-up of this board
).In any case, I agree that there are too many women like this now, way too many. Materialistic, selfish, inward focused. And people both blame our politicians for while looking to them to solve our problems? I think the finger should be pointed inward, not outward. But I'm one of those "in my prime income earning years, Libertarian-Capitalist" types, so I'm about free fucking and free market, and get the fuck out if you can't be responsible with both, as they both add up to the same problems.
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