The Foodie Fluffer
by Mariah Milano
Let my first sentence state the obvious: I am by no means a chef nor do I deserve any recognition even as a cook. I am a hack, admittedly. But I do know that as crude and basic as my skills may be, I just might introduce someone new to food and to appreciate the true art form that creating great food has become. I truly believe that that is a good thing for everyone. So essentially, I am a fluffer for the REAL chefs. My ego fueled by my previous life as an award-winning famous adult video star would never allow even the consideration of anything less than the lead role. But when I take a realistic look at my role in this booming new aspect of the cooking video world, I cannot deny this humble role I have been chosen to play. So here I am, although figuratively, on my knees in the grit of the dirty floor of a metaphorical kitchen I take my position hoping to someday get a little recognition from the true studs and bosomy stars who will close the deal and deliver the glorious money shot.
Food is a necessity in life and as devastatingly poor as much of the world is, so many of us are trying to figure out how to eliminate all the fat from our foods while the rest of civilization is trying to figure out ways to get more fat into their diets. Or get a diet at all. We as Americans have no clue how good we have it. Imagine taking someone from Ethiopia to a Hometown Buffet where every night at closing hundreds of pounds of fresh food is tossed into a dumpster for the rats to eat. Some of the glutinous buffet-style restaurants will donate their leftovers to homeless shelters but many do not.
So I ask, is there a quandary amongst foodies as to the guilt of those of us who take the abundance of food for granted? I think not. I do believe that the powerful movers and shakers in the food industry do more than their share to provide for the hungry and those who are food insecure, but we as a nation are so uneducated to the plight of the majority of the rest of the world that we think everyone eats meat every day and fresh vegetables and has a vast selection of organic items in their supermarkets. I have had many hateful things said to me through social media and email about how there are so many starving people in the world and here I am posting videos about how to make bacon wrapped prime steaks and poaching 32 ounce lobster tails in sweet cream butter. I don't even know what to say in reply. I have done a minimum of charity work in my life. I fed the homeless on thanksgiving day at the Hard Rock in LA for a few years. I took some leftovers from a catered party to a Covenant House once. I anonymously paid for dinner for a Mexican woman and her 3 kids at a Norm's in Los Angeles when I saw her counting change. But that's pretty much it. I cook some really good stuff for my cooking shows, which I update a new video every day. So that's 7 full meals every week, much of it I give to my neighbor and I'm ashamed to say, throw away. I know it's wrong, but I'm an American and I can't be bothered with such things as driving around to find a hungry homeless person to offer my food to.
So I will continue my role in this foodie world as the "Foodie Fluffer". I'll do my best to turn the prospects on so they can experience the REAL art form created by the true chefs. I don't mind, as I enjoy just being a spoke in the wheel. Thank you to the real chefs who make my role worthwhile.
