Douchebaggery free zone.

Shit! I forgot to pop my collar before I left....

Someone wanna help me???
 
What's goin' on bros? Check out these new Raybans I just got!

475 bucks! That's like a weeks pay but they are worth it. I even wear them indoors at night because they are flippin suh-weet!

People ask me why and I say because the sun never sets on a badass brah.
 

Ace Boobtoucher

Founder and Captain of the Douchepatrol
So I was working at A&F when this hodad and his sweet Bitty came in and I asked how I could help. Dude got all up in my grill, brah. He thought I was oggling his hag and he asked to see my manager. My manager said I was just checking to see what I could suggest to them and that threatening employees isn't cool. He told them to leave and I walked up to him and said "Tell your girlfriend I said thanks."

Hillarious, Brahs. He knew he couldn't handle the pain train I was gonna run on him because I've been workin' out extra hard to make my pecs pop. Plus, I've been using this new whey protein that totally makes me look shredded.

Check it out, brahs.

http://e.imagehost.org/0147/65.jpg
 
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So I was working at A&F when this hodad and his sweet Bitty came in and I asked how I could help. Dude got all up in my grill, brah. He thought I was oggling his hag and he asked to see my manager. My manager said I was just checking to see what I could suggest to them and that threatening employees isn't cool. He told them to leave and I walked up to him and said "Tell your girlfriend I said thanks."

Hillarious, Brahs. He knew he couldn't handle the pain train I was gonna run on him because I've been workin' out extra hard to make my pecs pop. Plus, I've been using this new whey protein that totally makes me look shredded.

Check it out, brahs.




Phenom.

Reppage to you brah!
 
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Douche Update!

So, bros, like, earlier I was back at the tanning salon. You know, oranging it up, showing those pale string-beans something to strive for. Next thing you know this hotty walks by me. Big tits, tanned all over, and great legs! I casually lift my shirt up, show off my as you could easily mistake as a a human lego piece. No less, she was totally impressed! She lift her top up and showed off her white board of a stomach. In fact, thinking back at on her, I couldn't tell where her pitiful abs were her flat chest or not... dumb bitch! She needed to be there... trust me, bros! Stay away from that white pole.

I laughed, went back to the P-Mobile and cracked open a cold one, gave a bro a call and we made plans to hit the gym tomorrow!

Anyhoo, bros! Douche update.... logged out!

Keep up the douching! Tans and Gym Reps forever!!!
 
Yo bros!

Just wanted to show you all a awesome kick ass pic of JohnnyStyro, LurkingDirk and myself hanging out together at the gym! Good times! We worked out so much I'm surprised the equipment isn't broken or something! Anyway, no matter, we totally rocked the place, bros. Rocked it like a popped collar and flannel vest over the polo, rocking! You know how we wear it, bitches.

Then we hit the tanning beds again! You know, gotta rock that tan, bro! Can't have muscles like us if you ain't got the tan to back it up! That's like the ammo belt to our weapons!

One time, at a airport, I was detained because they thought I had serious shit on me. you know, stuff like those bearded people have with a great tan, but too bad they ruin it by wearing a dirty towel on their heads and dirty bathrobes. No less, whatever, bros; point is, my muscles, light flex... they are confused for being WMD's. They do destruction alright! When I'm banging a chick after a good work out and tanning session! Hell yeah, bros!

Anyways, douche update, logged out!
 

Ace Boobtoucher

Founder and Captain of the Douchepatrol
I am totally hard thanks to ~whimsy~'s awesome post. But not in a gay way, Brahs. Question, Brahs. How do you get rid of those friggin' steroid zits?
 

Ace Boobtoucher

Founder and Captain of the Douchepatrol
And you have just joined the ranks of the douche for pointing that out.
 
I would argue that by making this thread you are engaging in the very same behavior you claim to be against...

Yo bro! You just need to chill out and hit the gym and tanning beds. You'll find yourself being less douchy and much more awesome!

Flex! Tan! Flex! Tan!

Hell yeah, bro!

JohnnyStyro and I are 'bout to hit the gym again. Maybe you should come. You can be our spotter.
 

Ace Boobtoucher

Founder and Captain of the Douchepatrol
Yo bro! You just need to chill out and hit the gym and tanning beds. You'll find yourself being less douchy and much more awesome!

Flex! Tan! Flex! Tan!

Hell yeah, bro!

JohnnyStyro and I are 'bout to hit the gym again. Maybe you should come. You can be our spotter.

You gonna hit him with the tea bag when you're spotting him on the bench, aren't you brah?

So is Snooki considered a douche too? I haven't seen her at any of the meetings.
 
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You gonna hit him with the tea bag when you're spotting him on the bench, aren't you brah?

So is Snooki considered a douche too? I haven't seen her at any of the meetings.

Snooki is just a tampon wing... Kind of useless unless you like to spend extra on nothing (or someone else) fucking moocher she is, bro!
 
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