JERRY: So the roommate laughed at everything I said.
GEORGE: Wow.
JERRY: It was a great sounding laugh too, kind of lilting and feminine--none of
those big coarse "ha's." You know those?
GEORGE: Oh yeah: HA-A-A, HA-A-A.
JERRY: Yeah.
GEORGE: **** the big coarse "ha." **** those.
JERRY: And the worst part of course is that she also possessed many of the
other qualities prized by the Superficial Man.
GEORGE: I see.
JERRY: So as you can see, I've got a bit of a problem here.
GEORGE: Well, if I hear you correctly--and I think that I do--my advice to you
is to finish your meal, pay your check, leave here, and never mention
this to anyone again.
JERRY: Can't be done, huh?
GEORGE: The Switch?
JERRY: "The Switch."
GEORGE: Can't be done.
JERRY: I wonder.
GEORGE: Do you realize in the entire history of western civilization no one has
successfully accomplished the Roommate Switch? In the Middle Ages you
could get locked up for even suggesting it!
JERRY: They didn't have roommates in the Middle Ages.
GEORGE: Well, I'm sure at some point between the years 800 and
1200--somewhere--there were two women living together.
JERRY: The point is I intend to undertake this. And I'll do it with or without
you. So if you're scared, if you haven't got the stomach for this, let's
get it out right now! And I'll go on my own. If not, you can get on
board and we can get to work! Now what's it going to be?