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Oh shag I love my pigs on toast. If you were on a date with a lovely lady and had the choice between sex with a condom or a bacon sandwich which would you choose?

I remember the first and last time I camped. I worked the Glantonbury festival. It was the pits! I felt like a pig in a carweck! I was so homesick, I couldn't even stare at hot girls legs they were all covered in mud. They **** on the floor but I pissed my stouffers! Oh shagpile I say! I do have...

I do it occasionally. I burst my sack a little bit too much so I try this. I'm not one of those who do this for a long period of time. I don't think it's worth it. Nice to have a break but god damn I can't wait to get back to the porn.

Like large meaty legs but no fat or muscular legs even. Oh shag help me please.

The thought of it makes me want to **** my stouffers! Everytime I try, the girl doesn't open her legs wide enough. Then when I'm on top I spend most of my time trying not to put my weight on her. Help oh shaglovers!

Are they any? would like to find some because of boredom.

Bummm bumm Yeah I think when we have a bash we are all much better off. Now it's been 25 days now since I've dropped my load and I'm going even more doolali. I just want to kiss and be breastt fed. I'm actually quite calm normally and usually don't feel as horny. I'm going to get a working...

I work in this bar and I'm apart of the security team. The head manager is rude is makes bad judgements and mistakes and doesn't own up to it but would rather have you look bad. He never says please or thank you and I often find him getting on with people in lower positions to me but he makes no...

So it went. Why is there no ham in my hamburger, and why so much lettuce? Is what I said while pulling down my stouffers. They used to tell me to go upstairs while they were wrapping presents and made me feel like I had some of the best toys in the universe. GALOSH! When I woke up there was...

****** keyboard of mine has stunk since yesterday. I only ***** milk and eat chickens.

How do you deal with this business obsessed posh douches and the people who wannabee like them who are actually ok. I work around a whole set of these people. Possibly decent human beings but still really shallow and following their trend. These people usually just have their own way of...

You seen where the black guy comes in the girls mouth and the other guy who is usually white opens up his mouth and lets the girl spit the cum in his mouth? seriously why the fuck are they doing that to us!!? they should make a category for that or something instead of making us watch that...

Oh and by the way how do you find your hookers? Where I live they don't let you do anything. I paid my god damn money!!

Ohhhh This tall fat chick wanted to **** me tonight. She wasn't very pretty but seemed to indicate she wanted to suck and fuck me so I was a bit taking back. How do you handle these? I mean it's not good to turn down a chick who is obviously on IT. I feel so fussy in my old age. I'm thinking...

But I can't help but watch more! It's so crazy and sad at the same time.

to want to finger and butt fuck a woman sensless, then shove my balls in her face and fuck her in every hole before cuming on her face? More prettier more I want. :drool2:

Do you know any? I find these features interesting.

I feel like walking up to random people and kissing them, taking their pain away. Last time I did it I woke up in a strange place and realised after awhile strangers are bad news. They pull you in and leave you.

Do ya likie? in a real life or in porn. Oh shagawitch! I can't stand this ya get me. It's too much. I **** cream pies too.

Indian pornstar or indian looking ones please? I gotta their brown skim, dark hair and eyes. Really makes me go oooh.

I wasn't supposed to do it which made it all the more special. She lay ******** while I ran to the bathroom, it smelled like roses, intil I sat down on the porcelain gift of god and unleashed hell fire. Oh goostas! She tried to lock me out of the bathroom out of fear, so I could never enjoy a...

WTF Who watches this? those guys..:dunno:

Do you or your dick get tired of porn? Yes porn! Yes! yes as in frying pan. My fanamish often gets tired of porn. It's a libido issue I think, I'm desensitised often and haven aches down there at times. A couple of days off and I'm usually okay to go again but then once I have a couple of...

I went to club with this canadian guy from work a two other dudes he knew. We got this bottle and few jugs of **** and paid £30 each. I paid him £45 originally then later one of the guys bought a bottle of *****. I got hammered later on and one guy went home because he was ill so we went to the...

When your not using it do you think eventually it could help the penis fill up with ***** more easy? Took some 7 days ago and have had great fakain erections all week and a bit of numbness aswell.

Oh rumble pack are you a fan of hot food? temperature and spice? I love me some spice and the hotter the food the more relaxing I feel. My favorites are Chicken Curry and Spag Bol. I can feel the warm **** soaking through my stouffers right this minute.

It's got to be done you know. Sometimes it gets to the point where emptying the fanamish tank becomes a bit of a chore and replaces those more special activitys like reading,sewing or eating pizza with extra cheese. Last week it was on my mind alot, and I couldn't even watch wrestling. Oh...

So does she like to do naughty things? if so what things..

Would love to know!

May I? Just playing. :P My question is if you have how did you manage it. What were those words you used to pursuade her?

I've got 3 girls I'm speaking with and I don't want anything serious yet I'm not experienced with any of this. I know the way I'm feeling in myself that there is no way I'm up for a long term relationship. How do you drop hints or just flat out keep it at FWB? It might be more difficult for me...

I loved playing with fakain toys up to the age of 15. I used to do it secretly and was upset when I had to stop playing. Now all I want to do is come home from work, have a few beers and play with my action figures. Is it normal? PS3 is for **** and adults so whats wrong with playing with my GI...

I need one, do you have one? I don't...do you need one? Oh shag! Remember how they smelt, those fine sports stickers so fresh and so clean like the wind. What were your favorites? I used to buy the WWF sticker album. I enjoyed the doubles so I could stick them on my toilet wall.

Met a girl at a bar where I work weeks ago. Went on a date and didn't feel much connection and she told me she had **** and stuff and continued to call me but still wasn't that keen on things then she seemed a bit more cool and told me about beings friends. I was like "what?" and she said...

You can't get much better than a bit of chick chick chicken. I tell you what, I wouldn't be surprised if this happens on a regular. It felt better than my moms stale breast milk. Oh shag! What should I shag next? A pig me thinks.

I don't think I can.

Jesus ****** bum custards. I'm sitting here, and have been sitting since summer began in May and I'm fucking sick of it. Soon it's going to be nice and chilly and I can't wait but it's still depressing while I'm in my room baking. Anyone else feel the same. Oh sugar!

**** didn't raise no fool, me tell you right now I had a good stash of breast milk growing up. It got my mind spinning and helped me grow into the best man I can be. I wouldn't have done it without. Who's been breast fed by their girlfriends?

Gorgeous. I had one the other day, it was just like my kinda lady.... Juicy, full of love and begging to be eaten. I normally don't think much of "pies" etc but this was really juicy. One of the good things about being English I suppose...the chip shops really know how to please a mans belly...

This other girl I work with and known for a bit. Well it feels like she is in a sugar ***** situation with a manager from my work but I'm probably just over thinking. He started speaking with her at work and getting her to do things for him like grab his lunch and drinks. Then recently the...

Let's say you put it as in a relationship then you remove the option to show this on the profile. Can you have that removed for specific people. On girl I liked had it that she was in relationship and then I asked her about it and then when I check her profile the relationship status is gone. So...

Which makes you go mad like a dirty fox in a rabbits hole? I got to say choosing between those two is like choosing between milk and cheese. How could we live without them? I must say, bum probably wins. If you got no bum, umm you look alot weirder than if you got no tits. Oh SUGAR SHAGLICK!;)

What's your favorite theme? I gotta love Mark Henrys, somebodys gonna get their ass kicked. It should be changed to, somebodys gonna get their ass fucked, some gonna get **** ripped.

Do you like them? I met a wicked one, she is a tomboy but dressed like a slut when she goes out. Some of it is an act but either way she could kick any other girls ass.

Yes it is her again.

If wanking is considered an exercise would you fakain say it could be one of the most safest exercises. I mean what could go wrong. :nanner: ? Can you burn calories wanking? Also, am I the only one who loves a girl who enjoys to wank her boyfriend to *****. It's like having your best friend...

I've got dirt bad in my knickers(panties), but am I wearing knickers(panties)....? Why would I be? hang on wtf. I'm not a crossdresser but I do like wearing high heels when frying eggs(egg McMuffin) :dunno: Question is if I'm wearing knickers(panties) am I the only one one this forum that is...

Who has a list of brown pornstars, girls who look asian or latina? I love indian looking women.

Oh zooks. I was but I quickly covered up. The deep breaths were enough though.