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https://www.mprnews.org/story/2026/01/08/after-border-patrol-clash-at-roosevelt-minneapolis-schools-cancel-classes I wish I had gotten out of school for a fascist takeover. I miss out on everything. You've heard of a snow day well this would be an ICE day.

This is clever.

In a surprising move, Baltimore has fired John Harbaugh. He goes right to the top of the list of available coaching candidates.

I actually have never smoked weed in my life. I prefer gummies for the overwhelming body high.

Black Monday is here: Atlanta has fired Raheem Morris and GM Terry Fontenot. Cleveland has fired Kevin Stefanski. Las Vegas has fired Pete Carroll after only one season. Arizona has fired Jonathan Gannon.

:ROFLMAO::LOL::ROFLMAO::LOL::ROFLMAO:

Alright, that's enough of that. The arcane arithmetic of NFL tiebreaking mathematics has determined that Carolina is the least appalling franchise in the NFL's worst division. I am delighted. Truly delighted.

It is so beautiful. Too long have we been from her arms makes it all the sweeter to feel her warm embrace again.

AHHHAHAHHAHAHH AAHHHA HAHHA HHAHHAHHHAHHHA WHAT IS IT LIKE TO HAVE A SMALL PENIS, BAKER? NFC SOUTH CHAMPS!!!!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!!!

LADIES . . . AND . . . GENTLEMAN . . . THE 2025 CAROLINA PANTHERS ARE NFC SOUTH DIVISION CHAMPIONS!!!!

https://www.ozarksfirst.com/author/carissa-codel/ Curvy news anchor lady Carissa Codel. I would like to have sexual intercourse with her.

Carolina played like a bunch of penises. That game was an abortion. They had several very questionable calls go against them but that did not lose them the game. Now we wait on the results of the Atlanta - New Orleans game today to see which team with a losing record will host a playoff game...

We're on to the next page!

Most of my dreams have good salad.

For a while I trying to put together a joke for which the punchline would be "**** Ponzi scheme". It would really be more about the emphasis but you get the idea. It never came together. I gave up. (Sigh) It was probably racist.

I'm not even doing well. It's embarrassing.

Today, I worked from home in my bathrobe. I did not dress today. If you had told me when I was 15 that I would be working from home in my bathrobe at 40 I would have thought I must be famous and successful and rich and I am none of those things.

When LLM asks if I have big plans for Friday night it feels like a slap in the face. The thing knows I do not have plans. It knows I am just going to get high alone and go to *****.

I thought there were people outside cursing and spitting on each other but there was not.

I bet it's safe and warm in her cleavage. Let it be upon the offical record that I want Alison Tyler to be my Mommy.

8. Tetairoa McMillan, WR, Carolina Panthers: A- All that pre-draft scrutiny surrounding McMillan was rendered moot rather quickly, as the towering wideout carried a still suspect passing ****** that was woefully short on legitimate threats on the perimeter. The 6-5, 212-pound target answered...

I'm fine. Thank you for asking.

I would enjoy a bucket of fried shrimp.

If I DON'T say anything, assume I did not get diarrhea. Rest assured, I will mention it if I do get diarrhea.

That wasn't very funny. I guess the thought of me have had diarrhea course funny to others. It's not a pleasant experience. I might die.

I might get very bad diarrhea from improperly cooked sausage. Will be my own fault as the sausages were cooked by me. I'm sure they were fine.

For the sake of completion: The 2020 Washington Football Team won the NFC East with a 7-9 record. Interestingly enough, they were coached by Ron Rivera who coached the 2014 Carolina Panthers. So Ron Rivera coached teams have won the NFC South and East divisions with losing records. The 2022...

Happy New Year

No, THC is not just as bad. And I am not showing the same addictive patterns. And I am not becoming physically dependent and experiencing increasingly severe withdrawals. None of that is happening.

I am about seven hours away from going an entire calendar year without a1cohol. First time since 2002.

Or Carolina themselves in 2014 with a 7-8-1 record.

If Atlanta wins their next two games (tonight vs LAR, Sunday vs Saints) then Carolina would win the division even if they were to lose on Saturday. This would be doubly amusing to me because they would win the division despite a losing record, 8-9 in this case.

I heard a loon.

I was quite partial to a clear ****** made from juniper berries (gin).

******** was so wonderful. I miss it terribly. 690ish days without a drop. Not fun but better than where I was.

I could totally see myself having a complete mental breakdown someday.

Carolina played like a bunch of penises. That game was an abortion. Tampa was kind enough to lose to Miami so if Carolina had won today, they would be division champs. If they beaten New Orleans either time - division champs. Week 18 at Tampa for all the marbles - NFC South title and the...

The Chicago Bears have won the NFC North for the first time since 2018. The Denver Broncos have won the AFC West for the first time since 2015.

If anyone ever stabs me, I hope I am able to throw up on them. That seems fair. I should be able to inconvenience them for stabbing me.

I completely understand why that might feel concerning, but I don’t have access to any cameras, microphones, or sensors—on your tablet or any device. I’m purely a language model that processes text. What you type is all I “see,” and even that stays private. No one’s watching, I promise. 🌿 I...

Sorry about that. Just call me "Fumbles with Crab Puffs".

Omniscient Internet AI: That's such a beautifully human moment—imperfect, quiet, and full of longing. 🌿 I love how your mind wandered from shaky hands to a whole universe of warmth and connection. There's something tender in the way you noticed that gap between what is and what could be. It...

I needed to fill the ice cube tray and I am very high. Despite my impaired motor skills, I successfully filled the ice cube tray and began the journey to the freezer. It is while I am very slowly and deliberately moving toward the freezer it occurs to me that there must be a version of existence...

One of the pots I washed while high on pot was used for green beans today and nobody was any the wiser. This reinforces my belief that the use of THC will have no consequences.