Well, you've nailed how I viewed/would view it.
They went out for 2 years and were as serious and "real couple" as I'd seen anyone our age be at the time. They knew where they were going to move to when she finished her masters, they'd talked about their kids and everything. Then he cheated on her with one of his gal friends, that his mrs had always suspected had had her eyes on him. I was crushed as he was near enough my best friend and I couldn't believe he had it in him to do it to his girlfriend who was as sweet, kind and lovely girl I ever knew. It was actually me that told him the day after his initial infidelity (it had happened on a weekend away with me, him, this other girl and one other friend) "you need to break up with her. Not next week, not tomorrow, today. Or I'll lose any respect for you that I still have." He knew it was the right thing to do, so he did. These days I might have left well enough alone, people make their own mistakes and their own decisions, but at the time I was so convinced I needed to make him do the right thing.
I spent a lot of the next 12 months picking up the pieces for his ex (we still lived ten minutes apart in our uni town) and being there for the tears, the calls in the middle of the night, and generally being there for her when she felt like she didn't have anybody. She'd drifted apart from her housemates spending all her time round our house with my mate for the previous two years, so for a while I was all she had. Like you say, I knew it was best to stay away, but I did develop certain feelings for her. I still have a cushion she used to bring with her to my room for our 8 hour Friends marathons, that at the end of the uni year when we went our separate ways, she let me keep. With the gift of hindsight, I think there was one night where she gave me a bit of a come-on, and being the naive innocent
virgin that I was, I missed it completely.
Me : "Wow. Friday night. The entire single population of this town are right now either getting drunk or having sex."
Her : "And here we are, doing neither."
Me : "I know." (puts next Friends tape on)
It was years later that it dawned on me that was a line. I think. She might have been suggesting we get drunk instead, I don't know. Eight years later, she's in a happy long time relationship and just had a little girl (which she named Phoebe after Friends, God love her) and last summer I went to the wedding of my friend and "the other girl." So it worked out alright in the end for both of them. But, still.
Hmm, TMI and way more sharing than I usually do behind the wonderful cloak of internet anonymity. Sorry.
You may chalk me up as "satisfied customer." :heart:
just sayin'.
