Since most threads are now started/bumped by Little Red Wagon, I thought I'd create a silly thread.

The refrigerator came with the house.

Because the refrigerator was a skilled and giving lover.
Well, some appliances just know how to chill in all the right ways.

Let’s just say the ice maker wasn’t the only thing dispensing refreshment.
 
Another great meme!

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The definition of being promiscuous = having or characterized by many transient s3xual relationships. Aka, having a high b0dy c0unt. The delusion is off the charts!!
 
Some women would make the worst used car salesmen.
They are supposed to make valid points and sell the product, right? (Themselves)
But they start off with an insult, follow with emotion and lies and end up only making sense with other (vagina) salesmen.

The klingon chicks on star trek were less moody.
 
At work today, I was at the urinal and I got **** on the floor which happens as the stream starts or ends. After I was done, I walked away and another person walked up to the urinal. We had the below conversation.

Person: Did you get **** on the floor?
Me: No
Person: What is this then? (gestures at **** on the floor)
Me: It's not ****. I did that thing where you walk up to the urinal and spit in it before you **** and I got spit on the floor.
Person: Why are you spitting in the urinal and why are you getting it on the floor?
Me: Pause It's not spit. It is ****.
Person: You just said it was spit.
Me: LICK MY ASSHOLE!!!

Then I walked out.
 
An individual at my job told the story of being awoken in the middle of the night by his five year old ********. She said "I don't feel w-" and proceeded to projectile ***** everywhere. The ***** consisted mainly of a fish and shrimp stew his ****** makes which his wife does not care for. His wife becomes ill and rushes into the bathroom to start ********. He said he and his ******** then listened, while ****** and covered in *****, to wife in the bathroom ****** and ********, ****** and ********. They now have never felt closer.
 
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Ha, ha; seriously - this guy thought that Jennifer Aniston was romantically interested in him??

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I have a tenuous grasp on reality right now. I was having some very dark and unsettling insights into my behavior until a silly joke about breasts brought me here to post for fake internet status among those who will never meet.
 
Oh?? Was it one of these:

  1. What type of bees make milk?
Boobies!

  1. Why are the saggy boobs angry?
Because they never get any support.

  1. What do you call the space between two enlarged breasts?
Silicon valley.

  1. What did the bra say to the hat?
“Go on a head. I’ll give these two a lift.”

  1. What do a push-up bra and a bag of chips have in common?
When you open them, they’re both half empty.

  1. What do boobs and friends have in common?
Some are big, some are small, some are real, and some are fake.

  1. The existence of boobs proves one thing:
Guys can focus on two things at once.

  1. What do train sets and boobs have in common?
They’re both meant for ********, but grown-ups love them.

  1. I joined the local swim class.
The breaststroke was not what I thought it would be.
 
I was writing another thing here and the punchline was "At least I'd have one happy memory" but it came across too hostile. I was going for a "yes there were obviously more than one but still could've been better" and it just wasn't working. Couldn't thread that needle.
 
A girl once said: Women and men should make equal pay.
She, within the span of five minutes also said: But my ideal man should make more than me.

I dont believe she understood the contradiction.
 
A girl once said: Women and men should make equal pay.
She, within the span of five minutes also said: But my ideal man should make more than me.

I dont believe she understood the contradiction.

==========

Ha, ha - maybe she was part of that study done in .. Sweden, a number of years ago. (That was the result of the study.)
 
I once knew a man who we will call Sam. Sam said he employed psychology and mind games to get women to have sex with him. An example he would give was that he would pronounce the name of a woman at his job named Regina so that it would rhyme with "vagina". He could never explain to me why this would increase the likelihood that she would have sex with him. She ended up not having sex with him but she did run him over with her car.
 
I once knew a man who we will call Sam. Sam said he employed psychology and mind games to get women to have sex with him. An example he would give was that he would pronounce the name of a woman at his job named Regina so that it would rhyme with "vagina". He could never explain to me why this would increase the likelihood that she would have sex with him. She ended up not having sex with him but she did run him over with her car.
And that is a win, let me tell you.

This one time he told us we were all going to the bar, so CMON. Then took us out to the middle of a parking lot, sat us down and waited.
Too scared to move, we waited along with him. One by one we all died off. It was me and him, 23 years later, and wouldncha know it? Someone built an applebees in that parking lot and we finally got our drinks.

We didnt have a job to go back to, and our spouses had left us. Well mine did, he could get any woman he chooses. I think he had mine, already. But that is a story for a cuck thread and not here.
 
This one time, back when pirate-C was called 'warez' and we were on dial up, I downloaded a ripped Starcraft. No voiceovers. No cutscenes. Just game and music.
It was only 86 megs, but it took me all day and many floppies.

I think I had a download manager called 'getright' which intercepted DL's from 32 bit browsers thru winsock.

I felt weird, at the time. I could actually afford Starcraft, I just wanted it NAO.
These days, I really dont feel bad about anything.
At all. Ever.
Except when I die unnecessarily in 7 days to die. Then I'll cuss like an XBLive teenager.
Apparently I've had sex with my laptop's ******, and they are of a completely different ethnicity than they were before I died.
I know this because I died. And it was my laptop's fault, not mine.
Never once should I consider alternate exfil routes, NOR should I watch my corners.
... yeah, **** you, laptop. You ****ing ******.
 
I am under the influence of substances and I posted in the Sydney Sweeney thread. It feels a little ***** for some reason. This thread is for the purpose of ****-fueled ranting nut the Sydney Sweeney thread has a much more discerning reader base.
 
Everything wrong with everybody is due to psychological issues.
 
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