Calling Woody Allen... Earth calling Manhattan... please!!!
MICKEY (gesturing)
Look, you're getting on in years, right? Aren't you afraid of dying?
Mickey's father walks offscreen again, to the kitchen sink.
FATHER (offscreen)
Why should I be afraid?
MICKEY (loudly gesturing)
Oh! 'Cause you won't exist!
FATHER (offscreen)
So?
MICKEY (gesturing)
That thought doesn't terrify you?
Mickey's father walks out of the kitchen, past his son, to
the living room.
FATHER (waving his arm)
Who thinks about such nonsense? Now I'm alive. When I'm dead, I'll be dead.
MICKEY (following his father, gesturing)
I don't understand. Aren't you frightened?
FATHER (offscreen)
Of what? I'll be unconscious.
MICKEY (turning and walking down the hallway)
Yeah, I know. But never to exist again!
FATHER (offscreen)
How do you know?
MICKEY
Well, it certainly doesn't look promising.
Mickey stops at the bathroom door at the other end of the
hallway. He starts to pound it.
FATHER (offscreen)
Who knows what'll be?
Mickey's father comes back on screen; he's carrying a plate
of hors d'oeuvres and an empty glass towards the kitchen.
He stops and looks down the hall at Mickey, who's now
struggling to open the bathroom door.
FATHER (gesturing with his hands full)
I'll either be unconscious or I won't. If not, I'll deal with it then. I'm not gonna worry now about what's gonna be when I'm unconscious.
MICKEY (pounding on the door)
Mom, come out!
MOTHER (offscreen in the bathroom)
Of course there's a God, you idiot! You don't believe in God?
MICKEY (sighing)
But if there's a God, then wh-why is there so much evil in the world?
(shrugging) What-- Just on a simplistic level. Why-why were there Nazis?
MOTHER (offscreen in the bathroom)
Tell him, Max.
Mickey, reacting, hits his forehead.
FATHER (offscreen)
How the hell do I know why there were Nazis? I don't know how the can opener works.