I almost made it to the shitter, but...

[CadillacD]

This Talk Board was once fucking hi-larious. Here's something that I hope lightens things up a bit.
Have you ever been in that situation where you had to decide whether to pinch it or run for it? I was in Office Depot a couple of years ago and the feeling came over me. It was that sudden holy shit, don't fucking move feeling! So there I stood for about 3-5 minutes waiting for that feeling of mobility to return...but the feeling did not return. In fact customers began walking by and I knew it would be just a matter of time before...and then it happened. I wish I had been wearing briefs that day in stead of boxers!

 

[lurkingdirk]

Yup. That returned this talk forum to sheer hilarity. Thanks!

:wave:

 

[Katja]

Well Ive had my days of that holy shit, don't fucking move feeling. But Ive never lost it like that! Damn that sucks

 

[alexpnz]

If you were a pro like me, you would have went to your car, put your left foot in the air and pressed it up against your dashboard, took your left hand and gently massaged the area right above your penis and all that would have came out was a nice SBD bomb......just open the windows!!! :hatsoff:

 

[rock hard]

:scream: CLEAN UP ON AISLE 5!!!! :rofl:

 

[CadillacD]

:scream: CLEAN UP ON AISLE 5!!!! :rofl:

Well done! LMAO!

 

[CadillacD]

Actually it gets better...So I make it to the restroom, finish shitting, ditch the boxers, and make for the door. As I'm walking past the "scene of the crime" I notice that all the evidence is gone! Some poor bastard had to clean that shit up!!! Now that I say it, I kinda feel bad! LOL

 

[simontim]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mEaKpwr6_uo

the day i shit my pants

 

[PlasmaTwa2]

Somewhere, baconsalt just got a boner.

 

[D-rock]

I've had some situations where running for it wasn't an option due to where I was. It was hold it in or else. Luckily, I have good self control. :1orglaugh

 

[feller469]

so that was the inspiration for their advertising campaign "Prices so low you'll shit your pants"

fucking genius

 

[Ulysses31]

I've had some situations where running for it wasn't an option due to where I was. It was hold it in or else. Luckily, I have good self control. :1orglaugh

It also depends on how strong your bowel muscles are, they get weaker with age I warn you

 

[HE1FiNEARTiST]

this one time, my gf and i took her nephew to a toy store. well within 5 min. i had to fart. so i werent a couple of aisles down and was about to let loose wen this mother and her son came around the bend. they just stood there looking at the fucking game boards, the kid couldnt make up his mind. so fuck it, i let loose. loudest fart ever, it was cool though cause it was one of them straight air farts. oh man you should have just seen her face. she looked at me and grab her kid and bolted right out the store. was the funniest moments ever.

:rofl2:

 

[PirateKing]

Have you considered Depends?

 

[Member442]

I don't have any of them moments I'm a lady:tongue:

 

[dogbone27]

I don't have any of them moments I'm a lady:tongue:

meaning:dunno:

 

[Member442]

I never fart. I always make it to the bathroom and most importantly I can never be wrong:rofl:

 

[PirateKing]

I never fart. I always make it to the bathroom and most importantly I can never be wrong:rofl:

Well aren't you little ms perfect... :tongue:

 

[Smallville417]

No, I've never crapped my pants.

 

[STDiva]

I was walking home from bar once. I had to shit so bad and there was no way I was making it home. So I was cutting through a park, noticed somebody with a pool and some shirts and towels in the backyard. I hopped their fence, shit in the backyard, cleaned my asshole with the pool water and wiped it all up with their towel.

You gotta do what you gotta do.