Fired Today, Career Over, Possibly Marriage Too ...

[Peter Gazinya]

******** is awesome no matter what the reason.

Mc and Prof, I wish I could rep both you guys. Maybe Fox will come back here and you can both pound on him. Wouldn't that be a party.

 

[ÆGEAN]

mate in Australia you could take issues like this to the industrial relations commission and if you (lol it is the USA i doubt it!) are in a union you could always call on them. You know what i mean, speak to the relevant body(ies) that deal with unfair dismissals etc etc and i am sure they would point you in the right direction.

But i am pretty sure you can rebuild your career and get a new job, there are millions of them out there.

I was fired in june of 07 but i have a job now, well i resigned before i was actually fired to be honest but you know what i mean!


bad luck mate, in this day and age.... political correctness and all that jazz is completely over the top at times.

 

[Peter Gazinya]

bad luck mate, in this day and age.... political correctness and all that jazz is completely over the top at times.

What about grabbing a stranger's tit and shoving your tongue down her throat in a crowded restaurant? That bad luck too?

 

[ÆGEAN]

yes, as you should be doing that in private, not in a crowded restaurant. lol

 

[Member2019]

Tangent started as new thread ...

Since you asked me to be honest, I'll be honest...

Instead of this being a further tangent, I've reposted it here ...
ProfV sig is "fat," wife is "fat," he likes "fat" women ...
http://board.freeones.com/showthread.php?t=172380

 

[Member2019]

Not that it excuses it ...

What about grabbing a stranger's tit and shoving your tongue down her throat in a crowded restaurant? That bad luck too?

Not that it excuses it, but that was done after the termination.
It would not even be allowed for consideration in a court of law, as it had no bearing on the decision.
Again, not excusing what I did, far from it, but wanted to point that out.

But that all aside, I don't think people realize that I'm a consultant and I work with clients, sometimes on behalf of another company.
I'm not a "regular" type of employee, so I understand this both professionally and legally.

 

[Member2019]

Oh hell ...

yes, as you should be doing that in private, not in a crowded restaurant. lol

Oh hell I've tit-grabbed my wife in public before.
Just because I was married over a decade doesn't mean I'm any less likely to do it than when I first met her.

 

[DOA82]

McRocket, I wanna see your defintion of "fat" any chance you can favour us with a link to a girl that you define is the starting point of that class?

 

[Member2019]

New thread (please use it) ...

McRocket, I wanna see your defintion of "fat" any chance you can favour us with a link to a girl that you define is the starting point of that class?

Please (I'm asking, that's all) make any responses on the "fat" discussion in the other thread.
Let's not taint and tangent this thread any further (again, I'm just asking) ...
ProfV sig is "fat," wife is "fat," he likes "fat" women ...
http://board.freeones.com/showthread.php?t=172380

I honestly think McRocket is responding to any and all posts of mine in the hope of getting me to lash out at him, since I'm already "down."
He's going to be waiting a long time.

 

[McRocket]

Re: New thread (please use it) ...

I honestly think McRocket is responding to any and all posts of mine in the hope of getting me to lash out at him, since I'm already "down."
He's going to be waiting a long time.

No. You asked for honesty. If you got a problem with it, then don't ask for it.

You ask me at great length to be honest. Then you accuse me, after I do exactly what you ask for, of trying to bait you.

Typical Prof Voluptuary.

And my honesty is just getting started.

 

[slikpulla152]

ima have to read these later :thumbsup:





THREAD SUBSCRIBED.

 

[Roughneck]

Re: Subject ...

I've refrained from commenting (on both) your threads for a while now. For many reasons (some of 'em will no doubt come out in this post).

Unlike men in their early '20s, I'm a middle-aged man, so I have no excuses either.

Your listed age says 34.

Since when is 34 "middle age" ?
Ok - you may dismiss that as a "nit pick", as you probably tried to say that you were "no longer a 20 some year old male". But the converse is also true - at least from my PoV --- the "30s" are not "middle age", sir.

And if you think they are... well, that's your opinion. And the reason I "make this seemingly useless point" is that your 'hard knocks' in life are still yet to come (yes, I do know that you just had a pretty hard one) ....

I'm a jerk, a joke, a hypocrite and a man who has some serious self-doubt right now.

I don't know about the joke bit. What's the argument?

Hypocrite? Possibly or at least partially. You've long maintained that monogamy was what turned you on. You've steadfastly stood by that opinion. You've said that you're mind is open to the lines of letting people choose what kind of relationship they want so long as those involved are happy in it.

A jerk? Absolutely. Of all the people on this board, my dear Professor; you are the man I least expected to do something of this nature.

No. Not because we 'seem' to "agree on so many issues" like folks would like to insinuate - but because you've always espoused personal responsibility. In other words: "You are free to choose - and the rewards and consequences are yours for the taking".

a man who has some serious self-doubt right now.

Of THAT, there is little doubt! And I say that with absolute confidence because of personal experience... not with total adultery, but with experiencing a very HARD jolt with "life" and attempting to "come back"...

It would be "easy" and "simple" for me to say "well, you reap the seeds you've sown"

Or that "it's ok. We all make mistakes. It's not all your fault."

I'm somewhat relieved that you did mention that you are not looking for sympathy nor pity. Because you deserve neither. I know you're full aware of this fact but: You did break a contract born of love and trust.

I'm not driving this point home just to gloat in your misery - merely to underscore the magnitude of your transgression. And hence to highlight the level of 'rehabilitation' you must reach - if you seek to do so....



From what little I've read of you and your wife (and other conversations that won't be mentioned) - I do think it wise if the two of you spent some time apart for a little bit. You're obviously still trying to come to terms with your own behavior while at the same time trying to deal with the meltdown in your relationship with your wife.... think about it, don't you think she's dealing with some of the same? Given your words (and the fact that I don't have any of hers to rely on) - this apparently seems to be the case of "the straw that broke the camel's back". This was the final straw that stirred up your wife to leave...

You express surprise at the news. She expresses outrage (at the fact that you're surprised/unprepared). What does that tell you?


I honestly think a few days of "calming down" might very well be in order. I think it's a little distressing that your best friend is not allowed to stay in contact with you for what ever reasons. Why can't you get in touch with this person?

I'm not surprised in the least bit that you're having trouble with your parents - but before too long, you'd be wiser to give them a call. Speaking as a parent - I'd wish my ***** would call.... even if they have committed ****, ******, adultery or any crime imaginable. Would I be upset? Yes. Would I be angry? Yes. Would I be disappointed? Yes. But I'd still want to talk to my *****.

Because at the end of it all - my ***** is still my *****. This doesn't mean I "condone" whatever actions my ******** undertake - but as a parent, I cannot but worry about them.

I'd rather not tell you "why" - but I trust most (if not all) parents feel the same...

cheers,

PS: Oh and by the way? "Time" doesn't heal wounds. It is not "time" but "love" that heals wounds.

 

[poggy]

Yes I forgive ****.

Thanks.

That means that what I thought was your thoughts and the way you treat women is correct then.

 

[free4440273]

Excellent post Roughneck :thumbsup:

 

[Member2019]

Roughneck = "gem" post ...

Excellent post Roughneck :thumbsup:

Indeed!
I was waiting for someone who had been married for some time to say it ...

Hypocrite? Possibly or at least partially. You've long maintained that monogamy was what turned you on. You've steadfastly stood by that opinion. You've said that you're mind is open to the lines of letting people choose what kind of relationship they want so long as those involved are happy in it.

You've listened, now I am.

A jerk? Absolutely. Of all the people on this board, my dear Professor; you are the man I least expected to do something of this nature.

Interesting.
Does that now lead you to believe that Fox's comment that all people possibly could do something?

No. Not because we 'seem' to "agree on so many issues" like folks would like to insinuate - but because you've always espoused personal responsibility. In other words: "You are free to choose - and the rewards and consequences are yours for the taking".

And you've definitely listened, and recognized I am not looking for pity or anything, but help with getting past my "harsh reality" that I bought myself.

Of THAT, there is little doubt! And I say that with absolute confidence because of personal experience... not with total adultery, but with experiencing a very HARD jolt with "life" and attempting to "come back"...
It would be "easy" and "simple" for me to say "well, you reap the seeds you've sown"
Or that "it's ok. We all make mistakes. It's not all your fault."
I'm somewhat relieved that you did mention that you are not looking for sympathy nor pity. Because you deserve neither. I know you're full aware of this fact but: You did break a contract born of love and trust.

A contract I agreed to and did not attempt to excuse or otherwise minimize.

I'm not driving this point home just to gloat in your misery - merely to underscore the magnitude of your transgression. And hence to highlight the level of 'rehabilitation' you must reach - if you seek to do so....

Indeed, and I had waited for someone make such a post.

From what little I've read of you and your wife (and other conversations that won't be mentioned) - I do think it wise if the two of you spent some time apart for a little bit. You're obviously still trying to come to terms with your own behavior while at the same time trying to deal with the meltdown in your relationship with your wife.... think about it, don't you think she's dealing with some of the same?

Exactly! But what do I do to take that into consideration?
What can I possibly do, short of reversing time, to ease her suffering?

Given your words (and the fact that I don't have any of hers to rely on) - this apparently seems to be the case of "the straw that broke the camel's back". This was the final straw that stirred up your wife to leave...
You express surprise at the news. She expresses outrage (at the fact that you're surprised/unprepared). What does that tell you?

The "gem" ...

In all honesty, I am shocked (and maybe I just missed it) that others didn't realize that I just had that epiphany in that phone call.
It was the ultimate "**** up call" and left me very "vulnerable," because I now had this whole scenario that I had not recognized my wife's unhappiness before.
Talk about not knowing yourself! And then the self-doubt started, and I utterly lost composure.

I honestly think a few days of "calming down" might very well be in order. I think it's a little distressing that your best friend is not allowed to stay in contact with you for what ever reasons. Why can't you get in touch with this person?

His wife, long story, and I don't need to make it more of an issue for him either.
There was a great (HBO was it?) movie on surviving your best friends' divorce, between a man and woman and their best friends in another couple, who were divorcing.
His "unavailability" reminded me of that movie.

I'm not surprised in the least bit that you're having trouble with your parents - but before too long, you'd be wiser to give them a call. Speaking as a parent - I'd wish my ***** would call.... even if they have committed ****, ******, adultery or any crime imaginable. Would I be upset? Yes. Would I be angry? Yes. Would I be disappointed? Yes. But I'd still want to talk to my *****.
Because at the end of it all - my ***** is still my *****. This doesn't mean I "condone" whatever actions my ******** undertake - but as a parent, I cannot but worry about them.

Oh, totally agree!
I just need to give them time, so they don't think I'm dragging them into it, which I'm sure they do not.
But they still love their ***, no matter how big of a screw-up he may be.

PS: Oh and by the way? "Time" doesn't heal wounds. It is not "time" but "love" that heals wounds.

But how do I put that into "love" in a way that doesn't hurt my wife's wounds?

 

[plucap]

Well this was a rather shocking thread. It's not often you see a emotional, honest post based on real dramatic events on the internet. And especially not on boards.

Anyway I won't even start to play some kind of therapist knowing what to do and how. All I know is that committing suicide, ***** etc. is out of the question. Especially the latter of which I can - based on experience - dissuade from.

Just get through these first hard days however you want, eating stuff, watching movies, writing, listening to music or whatever. Just don't be self-destructive as the major risk is you'll regret it. Once the primary anxiety passes try to make the best out of the situation. It doesn't have to be start a new life in a new town or becoming a totally new person. Just try to be sensible and do what's reasonable. Even if it means sucking up to your wife, screwing around with some chick from the local bar or taking a crappy job. Don't lose grip of reality, you still need to be your "outside ego" that makes a living and runs the house. This can help forget about things temporarily as well.

Personally, in times like this I like to do something active. To have my body take over my brain. Swimming, crafting or just taking a long walk works for me. It relieves the pressure you get from bathing in your own emotions.

I won't be able to help you dude because I'm younger than you and haven't experienced anything like this except for maybe when my ******* and grandfather died and my parents separated within a year when I was 6. But just try to hang in there, you won't regret it further on. Things do get better if you just leave it be. Don't over-analyze things and paint these unlikely scenarios of you being a mental or something.

 

[BlueBalls]

Your lifes over but do i care, No, because i dont know you

 

[DOA82]

Your lifes over but do i care, No, because i dont know you

If you didnt care, why did you post?

Same with your other post in Profs other forum, Pointless.

 

[Member2019]

He cares ...

If you didnt care, why did you post?
Same with your other post in Profs other forum, Pointless.

Actually, he cares. Why?
Because he doesn't want me to inherit his namesake.
He's just warning me, using his namesake as an example.

I hope humor is a symptom of recovery.
Or at least the way to recover from my forthcoming "BlueBalls."

 

[BlueBalls]

If you didnt care, why did you post?

Same with your other post in Profs other forum, Pointless.

Because I'm a sad, sad man :thefinger