Ah, you'd fit in well in an Islamic country my friend. Asalamalakum.
Cheating...Is It Forgivable?
- Thread starter ChefChiTown
- Start date
Ah, you'd fit in well in an Islamic country my friend. Asalamalakum.
Vlad The Impaler
Power Slave
See. It's not all bad.
SpexyAshleigh
Official Checked Star Member
Not forgivable. If any spouse of mine even starts to IMAGINE cheating on me (with someone specific in mind) then I'd think I'd at least deserve the respect of him either a)telling me and having us work out whatever issue there may be in the relationship or b)break things off with me if he's just not ready to commit 110%. Alcohol is not an excuse. If alcohol is something that causes you to self destruct the most important things in your life, then alcohol has become a problem and you need to stop drinking.
I think the important thing here though is keeping an open dialogue and being upfront. If you are tempted to cheat, tell your spouse and sort out why you want to cheat. And if you truly care about that persons feelings, let them go before you go have fun. You can't love someone and be boning another at the same time - hurting someone intentionally is not loving someone. I think if more people would just realize wtf they want in their life and relationships, and were upfront with themselves and their spouses, then there'd be alot less hurt in the world.
I think the important thing here though is keeping an open dialogue and being upfront. If you are tempted to cheat, tell your spouse and sort out why you want to cheat. And if you truly care about that persons feelings, let them go before you go have fun. You can't love someone and be boning another at the same time - hurting someone intentionally is not loving someone. I think if more people would just realize wtf they want in their life and relationships, and were upfront with themselves and their spouses, then there'd be alot less hurt in the world.
Supafly
Retired Mod
Spexy, you really hit a point there.
I think most of the situations where cheating happens, people try the 'Drunk Card'
As they do in situations where people start to beat down people etc.
That can never be an excuse. If you have once been drunk and got angry or got tempted to cheat, due to the booze, you either quit drinking or you are okay with getting into tese situations. And then you are doubly guilty.
I think, I would not say cheating is an automatic relationship-ender, but in most cases, I could not trust the woman I love after she cheated... and where is no trust, there can't be love.
I think most of the situations where cheating happens, people try the 'Drunk Card'
As they do in situations where people start to beat down people etc.
That can never be an excuse. If you have once been drunk and got angry or got tempted to cheat, due to the booze, you either quit drinking or you are okay with getting into tese situations. And then you are doubly guilty.
I think, I would not say cheating is an automatic relationship-ender, but in most cases, I could not trust the woman I love after she cheated... and where is no trust, there can't be love.
Let me cover two major points that people seem to be bringing up.
First is how I feel about open relationships and what is cheating. I think that if the couple both agree to have an open relationship it is ok. Even then it should only be with both of them knowing who the other is sleeping with. Going behind someones back for anything is wrong.
The other issue is alcohol. From the perspective of someone who is Straightedge, I am going to say that alcohol just makes it worse. Because now you are not just fucking someone, you are doing it in the wrong state of mind. You are less likely to at least be careful.
At the end of the day, trust is like a mirror. Once it is broken, you can try and glue it back together, but you can still see the mother fuckin' cracks (Thank you Lady Gaga)
First is how I feel about open relationships and what is cheating. I think that if the couple both agree to have an open relationship it is ok. Even then it should only be with both of them knowing who the other is sleeping with. Going behind someones back for anything is wrong.
The other issue is alcohol. From the perspective of someone who is Straightedge, I am going to say that alcohol just makes it worse. Because now you are not just fucking someone, you are doing it in the wrong state of mind. You are less likely to at least be careful.
At the end of the day, trust is like a mirror. Once it is broken, you can try and glue it back together, but you can still see the mother fuckin' cracks (Thank you Lady Gaga)
Let me cover two major points that people seem to be bringing up.
First is how I feel about open relationships and what is cheating. I think that if the couple both agree to have an open relationship it is ok. Even then it should only be with both of them knowing who the other is sleeping with. Going behind someones back for anything is wrong.
The other issue is alcohol. From the perspective of someone who is Straightedge, I am going to say that alcohol just makes it worse. Because now you are not just fucking someone, you are doing it in the wrong state of mind. You are less likely to at least be careful.
At the end of the day, trust is like a mirror. Once it is broken, you can try and glue it back together, but you can still see the mother fuckin' cracks (Thank you Lady Gaga)
First is how I feel about open relationships and what is cheating. I think that if the couple both agree to have an open relationship it is ok. Even then it should only be with both of them knowing who the other is sleeping with. Going behind someones back for anything is wrong.
The other issue is alcohol. From the perspective of someone who is Straightedge, I am going to say that alcohol just makes it worse. Because now you are not just fucking someone, you are doing it in the wrong state of mind. You are less likely to at least be careful.
At the end of the day, trust is like a mirror. Once it is broken, you can try and glue it back together, but you can still see the mother fuckin' cracks (Thank you Lady Gaga)
Cheating is not forgivable to me under any circumstances. Yes people get lonely, and a host of other things, but there is NEVER a valid excuse to cheat on someone who has been nothing but faithful to you. If you are not happy in the relationship and cannot work it out, leave, don't cheat.
om3ga
It's good to be the king...
I actually agree. If I was in love with a lady, I would forgive her. And I certainly wouldn't "kill the bitch" like that other guy was saying.
Vlad The Impaler
Power Slave
I'm not gonna kill anybody until after the apocalypse in 2012, then its Mob Rules.
You mean when we're all in hell?
If you really love the person you will acknowledge that humans make mistakes.. so i think they can deserve a second chance... that's my opinion. 
Vlad The Impaler
Power Slave
I dont care where I just want my shot.
Hell is going to be so overcrowded come 2012...some people will be phased out to "never never land".
R
RogueAlan
Guest
i suspect it depends on the circumstances... Fatal Attraction seemed unreal to me because Anne Archer was so much hotter than Glen Close & she wasn't denying Michael Douglas any action... so in my mind his cheating wouldn't be forgiveable.
If the spouse can't... or more importantly WON'T put out... well, at some point that's inviting the partner to step out.
When I took my vows I did so with the belief that short of real abuse, infidelity, or criminal activity, there was no justifiable reason to divorce my wife... Curiously, despite my having enjoyed porn WITH her, before we married, she suddenly decided, almost 20 years in, that my viewing porn was a form of cheating... talk about a mindfuck. Figure it's a shitty double standard, but in a society that has embraced 'no fault' divorce as a gimmick to ensure income for lawyers over the benefits of family, if that's what people are going to call cheating today i'd say it's not only forgiveable, it's unavoidable.
But if you restrict 'cheating' to putting your dick in another woman? Unless your woman has refused to take care of you repeatedly & without good cause, I'd say there's no reason to expect forgiveness.
It's stupid, though, hearing people 'Hate Jesse James' for stepping out on Sandra Bullock... There's no reason for me to hate him... I just figure unless the above is true, we should feel sorry for his being unable to keep his dick in his pants... It cost him a great wife.
pax
RA
If the spouse can't... or more importantly WON'T put out... well, at some point that's inviting the partner to step out.
When I took my vows I did so with the belief that short of real abuse, infidelity, or criminal activity, there was no justifiable reason to divorce my wife... Curiously, despite my having enjoyed porn WITH her, before we married, she suddenly decided, almost 20 years in, that my viewing porn was a form of cheating... talk about a mindfuck. Figure it's a shitty double standard, but in a society that has embraced 'no fault' divorce as a gimmick to ensure income for lawyers over the benefits of family, if that's what people are going to call cheating today i'd say it's not only forgiveable, it's unavoidable.
But if you restrict 'cheating' to putting your dick in another woman? Unless your woman has refused to take care of you repeatedly & without good cause, I'd say there's no reason to expect forgiveness.
It's stupid, though, hearing people 'Hate Jesse James' for stepping out on Sandra Bullock... There's no reason for me to hate him... I just figure unless the above is true, we should feel sorry for his being unable to keep his dick in his pants... It cost him a great wife.
pax
RA
There are few things more disrespectful and inconsiderate in a relationship than lying and cheating.
I would like to say 100% unforgivable, as it usually is how I treat it. I do believe people "deserve a second chance" and are able to redeem themselves... but I also believe that people do not change. The mentalities and conditions involved in cheating will never reverse.
I would like to say 100% unforgivable, as it usually is how I treat it. I do believe people "deserve a second chance" and are able to redeem themselves... but I also believe that people do not change. The mentalities and conditions involved in cheating will never reverse.
Actually i hate him because he is suddenly in the news and I don't know who the hell he is. There are REAL stories to cover, I just don't fucking care. And hearing about it just drives me insane.
Pretty much the same feelings as Chef.
I actually had a conversation about it with my best female friend the other day. She considers it forgivable, but would never consider being with them again. I can understand where she's coming from, but personally, if someone wrongs me (especially in such a fucked up way) I can't EVER forgive them. I've been cheated on in 95% of the relationships I've had, so I've had to sever ties with alot of people.
I actually had a conversation about it with my best female friend the other day. She considers it forgivable, but would never consider being with them again. I can understand where she's coming from, but personally, if someone wrongs me (especially in such a fucked up way) I can't EVER forgive them. I've been cheated on in 95% of the relationships I've had, so I've had to sever ties with alot of people.
How could I look at the woman I love if she were to go out behind my back and allow another man to fuck her? Even if you worked things out, you would know, in your mind, that under the right situation, she just may do it again.
Relationships can be rough at times. I try to do the best I can as a partner. I don't want to feel as if I have to be 100% perfect at all times or it will give my girlfriend a reason to step out on me. I don't want my girlfriend worrying that just because she makes me upset about something I'm going to go find someone to ease my stress.
Once someone crosses that threshold to cheat on you, there is always that possibility. Once you feel like you are not going to be able to control yourself and have to go outside your relationship, you may as well leave, because in a sense you already have.
Honesty and trust are the biggest things in any relationship, even open ones, as strange as that sounds.
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