Awesome masturbation aid!

[assholebythedoor]

I dont have any techniques.

 

[mentalman]

Really?? What ever happened to just using your hand?? I could have came three or four times in the time it would take to make that

 

[FlyingWallaby]

I've heard of, seen, and watched far worse....but never heard of anything as weird.

 

[Hot Mega]

Just get a g/f!! If you can't get a chick of your choosing would settling for an ugly chick be worse than this?

I'll admit that I would never try something like this.

 

[Sicario]

Take a cucumber. Cut one end off. Carefully scoop out the seeds with a knife and/or teaspoon until it will take your cock. You'll probably find that it quite fit when fully erect. If so, don't worry - here's the best part!

Carefully make a slice down one side of the cucumber and now put your cock in. The split will widen to accommodate your cock. Now, the important part - take a stretch bandage (the kind you use for sprains etc) and wrap it around the cucumber - this makes it feel tight, but it still expands to fit your cock.

Now, shove it between your sofa base and a cushion, stick on your favorite doggy POV and fuck away to your heart's content!

Sex is great, but there's nothing like the real thing!

Feedback, please!

I'm going to report you to the FDA for sexual abuse of cucumbers you fucking pervert!

:thefinger

 

[Hot Mega]

I'm going to report you to the FDA for sexual abuse of cucumbers you fucking pervert!

:thefinger

Especially since this poor defenseless cucumber can't "consent".:crying:

 

[Namreg]

Take a cucumber. Cut one end off. Carefully scoop out the seeds with a knife and/or teaspoon until it will take your cock. You'll probably find that it quite fit when fully erect. If so, don't worry - here's the best part!

Carefully make a slice down one side of the cucumber and now put your cock in. The split will widen to accommodate your cock. Now, the important part - take a stretch bandage (the kind you use for sprains etc) and wrap it around the cucumber - this makes it feel tight, but it still expands to fit your cock.

Now, shove it between your sofa base and a cushion, stick on your favourite doggy POV and fuck away to your heart's content!

Sex is great, but there's nothing like the real thing!

Feedback, please!

1- too much effort
2- your dick must be really really small, or you use genetically modified cucumbers

 

[sexdog121]

How do you think if that

 

[lurkingdirk]

How do you think if that

I beg your pardon?

 

[mrtrebus]

I've tried it & it was great. It also adds an extra something to the cucumber when you use it in a salad afterwards. The wife said it tasted familiar!

 

[iv6789]

Better yet, try it with a genetically modified hot pepper of sorts. Betcha that'd feel really good.

 

[SpexyAshleigh]

I hear zucchini's do a better job. You fail.

 

[Hot Mega]

Better yet, try it with a genetically modified hot pepper of sorts. Betcha that'd feel really good.

:1orglaugh

 

[jamrak]

another great masturbation advice:
take a cucumber (better with the pimples), and shove it deep in the ass

 

[SpandexBanana]

Oh well - each to their own I suppose. I just get a bit bored with the old five knuckle shuffle. If its any consolation, I'm married. I have a great sex life with the wife, but still enjoy spending a bit of "time on my own". Just nice to spice it up a bit. Loosen up guys - wanking's supposed to be fun, and if it feels good and doesn't harm anyone, what's the problem?

 

[averageJoe]

WHAT THE FUCK? That is all I can say. You have issues and need some help, seriously.

 

[jasonk282]

Oh well - each to their own I suppose. I just get a bit bored with the old five knuckle shuffle. If its any consolation, I'm married. I have a great sex life with the wife, but still enjoy spending a bit of "time on my own". Just nice to spice it up a bit. Loosen up guys - wanking's supposed to be fun, and if it feels good and doesn't harm anyone, what's the problem?

wanking is fun, fucking a cucumber is just wrong.

 

[SpandexBanana]

Fuck it. Just a bunch of internet bullies. See ya!

 

[Hot Mega]

Oh well - each to their own I suppose. I just get a bit bored with the old five knuckle shuffle. If its any consolation, I'm married. I have a great sex life with the wife, but still enjoy spending a bit of "time on my own". Just nice to spice it up a bit. Loosen up guys - wanking's supposed to be fun, and if it feels good and doesn't harm anyone, what's the problem?

To each his own and I hope you don't feel too bad about the way some of us (including me) came down on you. In these matters we all have our own, personal democracies with one constituent to make happy who has one vote...if it gets your vote that's all that matters.:thumbsup:

 

[lachemo]

If you do that enough maybe you'll start ejaculating salad dressing......"honey?"........"yes dear?"........."would you come to the dinner table early tonight,we're all out of blue cheese?!"