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Your balance must be good, Grasshooper, to carry such a large plate without spilling any Salisbury Steak gravy or mac 'n' cheese. But I am currently in the processing stage of acquiring my own, personal Golden Corral plate which is 18% bigger than the standard size offered in the restaurant. I...

I'd like to find a news source that is accurate too. I admit to watching Fox News for unintentional comedy along with the T&A. Not much for the liberoyale medias with cheese either. Johan, you are an arbiter of truthful and non-biased journalism. Could you please give us a source of news and...

I keep a Mighty Trident under the seat of my GMC Sierra just in case I encounter a flock of believers. This allows me to walk in alone and sprawl all over a table meant for 4. I keep the Mighty Trident handy leaning it against the table so no one thinks of rushing me.

The blue card still makes me eligible to get the key to the men's restroom behind the building. Not as many 400 lb people pinching off a loaf in there. I can camp out until my feet fall ****** with total 100% confidence.

Funny clip. I miss Conan on NBC at 12:30AM. That was a good time slot and I thought those were Letterman's funniest days too. Does Jordan still a massive Rush fan?

The Golden Corral has many eclectic, unique, diverse selections and delicacies that can be magically unlocked through their "Secret Menu" by way of code from your Golden Corral Preferred Members Loyalty Card(the blue one) and the punching in of a 5 digit number through a box that can be found at...

You guys up there ***** a soda pop out of a juice box?

I've heard similar things straight from the mouth of Jewish people. Not sure if they used the exact word "race" but they felt like they were separate more than just by religion. To me a European Jew is Caucasian like me but different through religion. They might breed in different or tighter...

Thank you Mr President Mr Donald Trump for the 250,000 jobs and thank you also for running such a good economy that I don't need one of those job things. I vote for you in 2020.

Training video on wiping your butt as taught by the United States Marine Corps.

I sure did. I know Golden Corral is amazing especially when you consider the value and specialty items but I found Furr's to be an even better dining experience overall. An old roommate of mine in Texas actually called The Golden Corral The Golden Trough. You haven't lived until you've gone...

With her ratio of teeth to lips it may be less painful to rake your wiener against a cheese grater than insert it in her mouth.

A shame he lived as long as he did but in the end the punishment did fit the crime(s).

Who knows? Who thought Trump would win in 2016? I was wrong about that one so I'm not going to try to predict this one. It's November 1 so flip a coin if you need to guess a winner in advance. Don't be overly influenced by the polls.

Thank you for your support, sir. I thought I was in real trouble with the forum daring to besmirch the culinary prowess of the Panda Express. May I be so bold to also say their fried rice tastes like wet toothpicks. Hey X, you know what's not overrated? Furr's Cafeteria. That's some 5 Star All...

I know I’m starting a firestorm of controversy here but I gotta give a mention to the famous and world renowned Panda Express Orange Chicken. Tastes like soggy McNuggets smeared with Orange Marmalade Preserves.

Those are the nicest teeth I ever came across. Happy B-Day to the Ivanka.

IHOP. Don't go there for anything other than Breakfast. If you want a good Breakfast you are still better off going to Coco's rather than IHOP.

My wife doesn’t smoke weed but if she did and I ****** her a joint I would say, “Don’t Flip lip it!”

That’s what the Blue Hairs ***** at the Old Folk’s Home while they watch reruns of ****** She Wrote.

I fought a lot as a *** and did night club security for years. I haven't gotten into a single fight since I stopped working security jobs. I'm 50 years old now, happily married, own real estate, and have a respectable bank account. I have way too much to lose so I'm somewhat defanged. If I were...

I don't think she's running this time around. She ****** in 2008 against Obama and in 2016 against Trump. She was in horrible physical shape during the recent Election cycle and I imagine she'll be even fatter with less mobility and energy by the time 2020 comes around. Trump actually did better...

I usually assume all adult males have been in a fight sometime in their life. Every once in awhile I'll find someone who hasn't. So not everybody but I guess mostly. Any of you never been in a fistfight?

What is the mucous-like goop they put on the veggies?

Many times sandwiches are named after ***********. This one should be called "The Peter North" for its gobs and gobs of hot cheese shot on, smeared all over, spilling off, and running down the buns.

Diet Mountain Dew. My wife brought home a 12 pack and I was excited to try one. Figured since Mountain Dew is good that flavor might be OK in Diet form too. Wrong. The artificial sweetener lingers forever in your mouth. I couldn't even finish one. My ******-in-law and future *******-in-law are...

I know it's fun and easy to play the race card on issues. The problem here isn't the amount of brown on the skin but the lack of green in the pocket. A country's immigration system should be implemented to benefit that country. I wouldn't be any more welcoming having a pack of Eastern Euros...

Trump himself would be licking his chops hoping CPL runs.

Does this law also prohibit defamation against Sweet Lord Satan or poking fun at that collander that Asia Carrera wears on her head as a member of the Pastafarians? Am I still allowed to use my DVD copy of Battlefield Earth as a coaster?

Wonder if the Blacks For Trump has an opinion on this.

Bob, you ever have a Fatburger? The XXXL sure is a tasty burger.

Olive Garden. Despite all the hype, accolades, and reputation for fine dining I didn't exactly find my Tour Of Italy to be satisfying. Should have known in advance as I could see they cast Jews as Italians in their television advertisements.

"I'm 56 years old! I still try to make money enticing people with my wiener! And I live... In a van... Down by the river!"

Is that OK to say in 2018?