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  1. Ace Boobtoucher

    I was just watching "Be my Valentine, Charlie Brown," and I wondered......

    Did anyone else wish that cunt, Lucy Van Pelt, would get Leukemia?
  2. Ace Boobtoucher

    The voice of Space Ghost, Gary Owens, has died.

    http://www.latimes.com/local/obituaries/la-me-gary-owens-20150213-story.html http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0654365/ He was also the voice of The Blue Falcon and the announcer for Laugh-in. So long Gary, we hardly knew ye.
  3. Ace Boobtoucher

    Say it ain't so, JRW!

    On Wednesday, Little League's Jackie Robinson West were stripped of their US title and ****** to vacate their 2014 victories thanks to an investigation that proved they had cheated in order to construct a super team. The reason that Little League found out is thanks to a neighboring Chicago-area...
  4. Ace Boobtoucher

    Jerry Tarkanian has died.

    So long, Jerry. We hardly knew ye. http://www.sbnation.com/2015/2/11/8019471/jerry-tarkanian-dead-unlv-basketball-2015
  5. Ace Boobtoucher

    Most nonsensical retarded silly-assed thread starter tournament 4

    The Douchepatrol and Troll Hall of Fame tournament seeks to name the most silly-ass ignoramus in modern freeones history! Candidates include rtards and Finns who manage to make ***** inducing, or infuriatingly stupid threads of the last 60+ years. *morons (contemporary) division* Jagger69...
  6. Ace Boobtoucher

    Your mental image of other board members

    I know everyone here thinks I'm this hip, awesome, totally together awesome guy but sometimes I just feel like So how do you imagine some of the other people here? And try to keep it civil, please. Whenever I see a bobjustbob post I read it with Larry Fine's voice running through my head...
  7. Ace Boobtoucher

    Most nonsensical retarded silly-assed thread starter tournament 3

    The Douchepatrol and Troll Hall of Fame tournament seeks to name the most silly-ass ignoramus in modern freeones history! Candidates include rtards and Finns who manage to make ***** inducing, or infuriatingly stupid threads of the last 60+ years. *morons (contemporary) division*...
  8. Ace Boobtoucher

    Most nonsensical retarded silly-assed thread starter tournament 2

    The Douchepatrol and Troll Hall of Fame tournament seeks to name the most silly-ass ignoramus in modern freeones history! Candidates include rtards and Finns who manage to make ***** inducing, or infuriatingly stupid threads of the last 60+ years. *morons (contemporary) division* animus...
  9. Ace Boobtoucher

    Most nonsensical retarded silly-assed thread starter tournament

    The Douchepatrol and Troll Hall of Fame tournament seeks to name the most silly-ass ignoramus in modern freeones history! Candidates include rtards and Finns who manage to make ***** inducing, or infuriatingly stupid threads of the last 60+ years. *morons...
  10. Ace Boobtoucher

    Jewish community center in France is scene of yet another stabbing ******

    http://thisongoingwar.blogspot.com/2015/02/03-feb-15-jewish-community-center-in.html A man with a ***** attacked three French military personnel on an anti-****** patrol near a Jewish community center in southern France, officials said Tuesday. Two of the military personnel were wounded in...
  11. Ace Boobtoucher

    Four Chaplains Day: Take a Moment for It

    http://www.breachbangclear.com/four-chaplains-day-take-a-moment-for-it/ I have heard their story of amazing sacrifice but I really didn't know about this holiday. May their memory be a blessing.
  12. Ace Boobtoucher

    Warren Sapp Arrested For Soliciting Prostitute and Fired From NFL Network gig

    http://www.tmz.com/2015/02/02/warren-sapp-arrested-arizona-super-bowl-soliciting-a-prostitute/ http://www.si.com/nfl/2015/02/02/warren-sapp-suspended-indefinitely-nfl-network-arrest And no surprise, Jeremy Shockey is a dick about it...
  13. Ace Boobtoucher

    Bowe Bergdahl to be charged with desertion

    http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2015/jan/26/bowe-bergdahl-be-charged-desertion-retired-officer/ http://www.newsmax.com/Newsfront/Bowe-Bergdahl-desertion-deserter-Army/2015/01/26/id/620866/...
  14. Ace Boobtoucher

    Happy Australia Day!

    A few facts about the land down under: The first photos from the 1969 moon landing were beamed to the rest of the world from Honeysuckle Tracking Station, near Canberra. In 1856, stonemasons took action to ensure a standard of 8-hour working days, which then became recognised worldwide...
  15. Ace Boobtoucher

    H. Jon Benjamin: Master of Seduction

    So far, so good.
  16. Ace Boobtoucher

    Should Finns be allowed to procreate?

    I would say no, but in a way they are ****** to do so. If we could stop them, should we? In my view they need to stop letting their people have access to the internet. Conclusion: we should drop scabies bombs on them until Finland is nothing more than a barren wasteland, devoid of life...
  17. Ace Boobtoucher

    Seahawks attempt to trademark 'GO HAWKS'

    http://www.blackheartgoldpants.com/2015/1/22/7874673/seattle-seahawks-trademark-go-hawks-iowa-hawkeyes Of all the stupid.......... Try and guess which comment is mine.
  18. Ace Boobtoucher

    Happy Penguin Awareness Day!

    http://www.montereybayaquarium.org/*******-and-experiences/live-web-cams/splash-zone-penguin-cam https://www.daysoftheyear.com/days/penguin-awareness-day/ http://www.holidayinsights.com/other/penguinawareness.htm I cannot think of anything else I'd watch on broadcast television tonight. Nope...
  19. Ace Boobtoucher

    Fatah: Taking Israel to ICC for Assassinating Arafat

    http://www.jewishpress.com/news/breaking-news/fatah-taking-israel-to-icc-for-assassinating-arafat/2015/01/18/ :facepalm: photo sharing websites
  20. Ace Boobtoucher

    Affirmative Action and the Academy Awards

    http://www.businessinsider.com/al-sharpton-blasts-appalling-oscars-2015-1 http://www.businessinsider.com/al-sharpton-blasts-appalling-oscars-2015-1 http://deadline.com/2015/01/academy-award-nominations-twitter-white-oscars-controversy-selma-1201351105/ I'm more interested in why the Lego Movie...
  21. Ace Boobtoucher

    Busty Blonde purple lingerie

    Any ideas?
  22. Ace Boobtoucher

    The Prime Minister Of Australia Is Calling ISIS By A New Name That They Absolutely ****

    http://www.businessinsider.com/tony-abbott-calls-isis-by-daesh-2015-1 Taking a page from the rules for radicals is a good thing, sometimes. Referring to a group by a name they abhor until it becomes popular works under their skin so efficiently and with so little effort.
  23. Ace Boobtoucher

    Robot Handjobs Are The Future, And The Future Is Coming

    http://live.huffingtonpost.com/r/archive/segment/5283e961fe34444eb70002bd?cps=gravity_3669_3448967622284315921 I, for one, welcome our new robotic.......overlords?
  24. Ace Boobtoucher

    Barbara Boxer Retiring In 2016

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/01/08/barbara-boxer-retires_n_6436800.html http://www.cnn.com/2015/01/08/politics/barbara-boxer-not-running/ The announcement caught Pelosi Galore off guard. http://www.mediaite.com/tv/what-nancy-pelosi-caught-off-guard-by-boxers-retirement-during-presser/
  25. Ace Boobtoucher

    Federal court in NY allows $1B lawsuit against PLO and PA to move forward

    http://www.myfoxny.com/story/27776118/us-appeals-court-lets-ny-trial-proceed-over-plo-objections A federal appeals court has chosen not to block a New York trial next week over a $1 billion lawsuit brought by U.S. terrorism victims against the Palestinian Authority and the Palestine...
  26. Ace Boobtoucher

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    The original "Fuck her right in the pussy" guy was a hoax. I don't know what to believe anymore. BCqXqtERHQM Jameis Winston must be inconsolable.
  27. Ace Boobtoucher

    The Palestinians Are Claiming Jesus Was A Palestinian

    http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/2014/12/the-palestinians-take-on-christmas.html Broadcast on December 7 on the official Palestinian TV station, the District Governor of Ramallah and El-Bireh, Dr. Laila Ghannam, told viewers to enjoy the Christmas holiday: A December 17 report in the official...
  28. Ace Boobtoucher

    Quite possibly the best man I've ever known.

    Today we laid to rest one of the best men I’ve ever known. Donald T. Ruland retired as FDNY’s Chief of Department in 1995. He ****** unto eternity in his ***** December 10th, 2014. His life started humbly in Brooklyn, 1933 to a NYPD officer and his stay at home wife. All told, there were...
  29. Ace Boobtoucher

    Former DC Mayor Marion Barry dies at 78

    http://news.yahoo.com/former-dc-mayor-marion-barry-dies-78-080431388--politics.html His crack pipe is 24.
  30. Ace Boobtoucher

    Major Democratic Party Donor Arrested for Alleged Sex ***** of Teenager

    http://www.ijreview.com/2014/11/205497-major-democratic-party-donor-arrested-alleged-sex-*****-teenager/ Just looking at who he's associated with and that stache are enough to convince me he's pretty fucking creepy.
  31. Ace Boobtoucher

    Woman sues owners of dog ****** by her pit bulls

    http://news.yahoo.com/woman-sues-owners-dog-******-her-pit-bulls-194920139.html God. Damn. It. It's **** like this that makes me realize that we need a Texas face palm smiley. This nuisance lawsuit shouldn't even see the inside of a court room but it probably will. I hope someone sees how...
  32. Ace Boobtoucher

    Ben Carson Officially Switches Political Parties

    http://www.teaparty.org/ben-carson-officially-switches-political-parties-66000/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=ben-carson-officially-switches-political-parties Ben Carson, the pediatric neurosurgeon turned conservative sensation after he confronted President Obama at a prayer...
  33. Ace Boobtoucher

    Ben Stein: Obama 'Is the Most Racist President' Ever

    http://www.mrctv.org/blog/ben-stein-obama-most-racist-president-ever?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=marketing&utm_term=facebook&utm_campaign=ben-stein Yeah, there were a couple guys who owned slaves but apart from that, I'd say he's hit the nail on the head.
  34. Ace Boobtoucher

    Car Talk's Tom Magliozzi dies at 77

    https://autos.yahoo.com/blogs/motoramic/car-talk-s-tom-magliozzi-dies-at-77--but-the-show-will-go-on-204533423.html One of my favorite things to do on Saturdays and sometimes Sunday is listen to old broadcasts of their shows. The world is a little brighter for having had him. So long, Tom...
  35. Ace Boobtoucher

    *** Invites Young ********’s Alleged ****** to Dinner, Then ******** Him to Death

    http://fox40.com/2014/11/02/***-invites-young-*********-alleged-******-to-dinner-then-********-him-to-death/ Meanwhile in India... If I had a ******** I'd like to think I'd be a little less merciful to her ******.
  36. Ace Boobtoucher

    Suspect Who ******** TWO Sacramento Deputies Had Been DEPORTED TWICE to Mexico

    http://soopermexican.com/2014/10/25/suspect-who-********-two-sacramento-deputies-had-been-deported-twice-to-mexico/ Soopermexican is one of my favorite tumblr pages.
  37. Ace Boobtoucher

    NBC Ignores NY Times Scoop on Chemical Weapons in Iraq

    I've been saying this for eleven years. http://newsbusters.org/blogs/matthew-balan/2014/10/16/nbc-ignores-ny-times-scoop-chemical-weapons-iraq?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=marketing&utm_campaign=chemical-nyt I have friends from my old platoon who told me as much after returning home and even...
  38. Ace Boobtoucher

    Dem governor threatens if he loses race, he may pardon mass ******** on his way out

    http://www.bizpacreview.com/2014/10/14/dem-governor-threatens-if-he-loses-race-he-may-pardon-mass-********-on-his-way-out-152378 Ass Clown should have lost his job over his attempted *** grab. This is just the most extreme version of a temper tantrum. This story should eliminate any question...
  39. Ace Boobtoucher

    Former SNL star Jan Hooks has died

    Her portrayals of Sinead O'Connor, Tammy Faye Baker and one half of the Sweeney sisters were some of the funniest bits from a time when Saturday Night Live was actually kinda funny. So long, Jan, we hardly knew ye...
  40. Ace Boobtoucher

    ***The Great Coriander, Cilantro and Chinese Parsley debate***

    Mr. Stiffy believes Coriander and Cilantro are synonymous while those of us with a full set of chromosomes know that coriander is simply the seed of the cilantro plant. Freeones_Adam weighed in with "Chinese Parsley," but I've never heard it called that. Discuss.
  41. Ace Boobtoucher

    7Up Pitchman Geoffrey Holder Dies at 84

    euvh-eJ1rVg https://*********.yahoo.com/blogs/*****-news/bond-baddie-annie--actor-and-7up-pitchman-geoffrey-holder-dies-at-84-171437243.html He scared the crap out of me when he played the voodoo priest in "Live And Let Die" when I was a little ***. So long, Geoffrey, we hardly knew ye.
  42. Ace Boobtoucher

    The League

    I had to watch "When Rafi met Randy" three times just to catch any subtle nuances I may have missed. There were none. But HOLY FUCK, ***! From the extremely dark cold open to the climactic shootout, it was a marvel of psychopathy taken to its most extreme logical conclusion. The...
  43. Ace Boobtoucher

    Today marks the 170th day that Sgt. Andrew Tahmooressi has been held behind bars in Mexico.

    http://newsninja2012.com/az-congressman-gets-sgt-tahmooressi-a-congressional-hearing/ http://madworldnews.com/republicans-action-jailed-marine/ Sgt. Tahmooressi was arrested March 31 after he accidently crossed the Mexican border with firearms in his vehicle. Since then, he has been stuck...
  44. Ace Boobtoucher

    Actress from Django Unchained handcuffed after she is mistaken for a prostitute.

    Hilarious. Witnesses told police they were watching her and her boyfriend have sex in the passenger seat with the door open. Ms Watts isn't oppressed. She's just an asshole who got caught with her pants down...
  45. Ace Boobtoucher

    ***The Trolls of freeones 2015***

    I actually tried to make an actual dam calendar but I suck and I'm too cheap to download new programs capable of doing the task easily. And, yeah, it's a little early but just suck it. pic upload image ru screenshot tool images hosting
  46. Ace Boobtoucher

    Jack the Ripper is Finally Positively Identified

    http://buzzpo.com/126-years-jack-ripper-finally-positively-identified/ I was kind of surprised it wasn't a royal, but there it is.
  47. Ace Boobtoucher

    DNC Chair Debbie Wasserman Schultz says Scott Walker is "grabbing women by the hair and pulling us

    DNC Chair Debbie Wasserman Schultz says Scott Walker is "grabbing women by the hair and pulling us back." http://www.jsonline.com/news/statepolitics/dnc-chair-debbie-wasserman-schultzs-rips-walker-b99343924z1-273792311.html Goddamn it. I could have gone all year with out seeing her face and...
  48. Ace Boobtoucher

    11 Missing Libyan Jetliners Raise Fears of Suicide Airliner Attacks on 9/11

    http://the-eyeontheworld.blogspot.com/2014/09/isis-jihadists-capture-russian-jets-in.html (I like the Holy Month of Ramadan Death Counter in the margin. It's a little piquant.) Well that's one silver lining.
  49. Ace Boobtoucher

    Will Eric Holder Extradite A Hamas Terrorist Involved In ********* A US Citizen?

    http://joshuapundit.blogspot.com/2014/08/hamas-finally-admits-they-*********.html http://joshuapundit.blogspot.com/ I doubt Herr Holder will do anything about this but it'll be interesting to watch.
  50. Ace Boobtoucher

    Omaha Police Shoot and **** “Cops” TV Show Crew member

    http://buzzpo.com/omaha-cops-shoot-****-cops-tv-show-crew-member/ I can understand perforating the suspect under the circumstances, but what kind of fucking situational awareness are they teaching in Omaha? 30 shots and no return fire? Where is their fire discipline? I know I never would...
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