Not Dead Yet
By Louie Dee
January 6, 2006
Do you remember growing up there was always that one *** in school who could never get anything right? Did you ever wonder what happened to him? I did, and I know what happened to him. He grew up to become a WWE official; actually, he’s now an ex-WWE official, because he couldn’t even get that right. I’m talking about Tim White, and even as an adult, he’s still a loser.
During Armageddon, Josh Mathews visited White at his bar, The Friendly Tap. After complaining about all the unlikely and bizarre physical and personal problems he’s had since refereeing a Hell in a Cell Match in 2002, White produced a shotgun. It seemed like White was going to **** himself, as he walked out of camera range and a blast was heard, leaving many to question what happened. Had White shot himself? Was he alive or dead? And how exactly do you contract psoriasis or Irritable Bowel Syndrome from refereeing Hell in a Cell?
Fortunately (or maybe unfortunately to White), the first two questions were answered this week. Josh caught up once again with the hapless official, who showed off a nice big bandage on his right foot. Instead of hitting his intended target, the clumsy White proved that his aim was as bad as his alleged medical conditions by somehow shooting himself in the foot.
This week, White left less to chance, choosing a seemingly more direct method to end his suffering: consuming rat poison. After consuming the poison, White keeled over with his legs flailing in the air. No one has heard any more in the saga of Tim White since the incident. Only time will tell if he got the job done, or if he screwed up yet again, but one thing is for certain: Josh Mathews really needs to stop running into him.
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