Some years ago I was seeing a girl off and on. We went on dates and had sex but I was pretty much into my own thing too much to really commit to something more serious with her. She made mention quite a few times about how much I looked like her ex though...So too would her sister who I met at the same time she and I met. They would comment on it (back and forth to each other in my presence) always in the context of it being a very good thing.
When she first mentioned it I said something along the lines of ...well, I can't remember exactly what I said but it was some light hearted quip to which she seemed to say something like she liked the way I looked or she liked it or whatever.
Like I said, she mentioned it quite a few times and seem to be pretty struck by it. I don't seem to recall it making an impression on me one way or the other as it didn't really bear upon my intentions with her. To the degree that it would have it seemed to be to my advantage. So it was something noteworthy but pretty much went in one ear and right out the other.
Fast forward to the present day...I meet a woman that is a spitting image of another girl I dated before. I mean it's just mind blowing how much they share a resemblance so I approach her and fortunately we hit it off. But as I talked with her it was just distractingly striking how much they looked alike to the point where I almost mentioned it...a few times.
A part of me thinks that I'm going to mention it to her at some point..most likely after we at least have sex.:1orglaugh:1orglaugh (Not
right afterwards dummies..
)
But it did make me think back to that previous situation and I can kind of see why she mentioned it the way she did. It is distracting...but not in a bad way though. Almost like someone having really nice eyes, a really nice smile or anything else that strikes you about them while you're talking to them and you're moved to comment or compliment them on it....something like that I guess.:dunno:
Though they bear a near identical resemblance I don't find myself longing for my ex over her. They are two different people who happen to share physical features I'm predisposed to being attracted to. I see them looking alike as just a conversation piece almost.
As I try to figure out a simple way of mentioning this to her I wondered would it (or should it) bother the average person if this was mentioned to them?
Having seen both sides and thinking about it for a bit now I don't think it should bother a person.
The way I look at it is no one has a patent on a look. Who's to say which looks like the other? My ex could look like her just a much as she could look like my ex. Just because we stumble on one before we stumbled upon the other shouldn't make the difference IMO. Frankly, having thought about it....if one of my ex's did find someone who looked like me and they really hit it off. I think it would be kind of naive and delusional to see that as a necessary compliment to me. It would kind of be more of a negative. I mean I would know she physically liked me already because she wouldn't have dated me to begin with if she didn't. But it could mean she found other shit about the guy which made her happy that she didn't see in me. Version 2.0 (if you will).
Though I think if someone wants you to look or act like an ex and you don't....that would be an insult IMO.
