When I last had an important job, this was how a typical day was spent :
8:30-8:50 : Drink coffee and think about what superhero power I most wanted.
8:50-9:00 : Fire up subordinates for the day ahead, then put kettle on.
9:00-12:55 : Worry about all the things I didn't do yesterday that I was meant to, and procrastinate, flicking paperclips at subordinates and drinking coffee.
12:55-1:00 : Make a start on what I'm supposed to do today.
1:00-2:00 : Lunch, read second-in-command's copy of FHM and wonder why he buys it. Plan the evening's wank in my head.
2:00-3:00 : Have monthly 1-1 meeting with subordinate I was in love with. Her third monthly 1-1 that fortnight.
3:00-3:02 : Send email to line manager with bullshit reason why I can't go to the area meeting. Boil kettle again.
3:02-4:30 : Worry about all the things I'm supposed to do tomorrow, and procrastinate, attempt to create a perfect model of myself from blu-tacc.
4:30-5:00 : Fill in business report spreadsheets, ring boss and tell him what we did today, lying through my teeth, then accepting his glowing praise.
5:00-5:05 : Walk my subordinate/crush to tram stop. Wait until she's boarded her connection before continuing my own journey. Modify the wank plan.
5:05-5:40 : Go home, make my tea and watch Eggheads. Why do they always pick Daphne for Sport? That's her best subject, you fools!!
