A joke you tell at a friend's expense:
So, these three dwarves are standing outside their stoof having a random conversation when the topic of the Guiness World Book of Records comes up.
The first dwarf interrupts, "You know what boys? I should try and set a record. I seriously have the smallest hands in the world, I can't even hold a can with one hand." The other dwarves look at his hands and agree, which causes the second dwarf to reply.
"I know what you mean, I must seriously have the smallest feet in the world. I wear drinking cups as shoes and even the slighest gust of wind causes me to tip right over." Sure enough, his size of his feet was no lie. Finally, the third dwarf enters the conversation.
"You boys haven't seen anything. I, my friends, have the smallest dick in the world. Even my pubic hair is longer than it." Just like his friends before him, the third dwarf's claims were no lie. So, all three decide to go to the library the next morning and verify if they are possibly the world record holders in their respected categories.
Next morning, all three dwarves enter the library and begin their research. Upon exiting a short while later, the first dwarf shouts: "I did it! I did it! I do have the smallest hands in the world!"
The second dwarf follows in celebration: "Me too! I did it! I have the smallest feet in the world."
The third dwarf, however, exited the library with a frown and near tears. The other two dwarves asked their friend what was wrong and to which he replied: "I didn't make it, I don't hold the record for the smallest penis in the world."
This caused the other two dwarves to reel in shock, as they had seen the size of his penis and it was hardly worth measuring. "Thats not possible, your dick is tiny there is no way you can't have the smallest penis in the world!"
"Thats what I thought too!", said the third dwarf, "I just wonder who this *Tunsty* guy is."
- * * insert a buddy's name. I threw in Tunsty because he posted right above me
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