Complete fulfillment is most important
To me, it's not important. What is important is what I call "complete fulfillment."
That means all the moments leading up to the orgasm is "involved" -- which doesn't mean "fast" or "intense" necessarily. I want bodies intertwined. I want long strokes, deep pumps, sensual petting. Kissing is always a major bonus, as well as hands and lips on lesser appreciated anatomy.
It also means the orgasm is not rushed. When the man or woman does ejaculate, it should be as part of the natural flow. Yes, sometimes we "really get going" when we ejaculate. But I think the thing far too many men and woman miss out on is a slow, deep and intense ejaculation. It's like the opposite of a pre-mature ejaculation where someone cums before they intended too -- the lover ejaculates well after most people assumed they would.
But even porn fucks that up -- as so many scenes seem "fabricated" on that matter. I'm talking about 30+ minutes of loving, pumping, stroking, caressing and the intensity is deep and consistent throughout until at some point, the man or woman just unloads as if nothing changed. And then while they are unloading, they keep the motion up, and they do not stop after only 2-3 ejaculations. That really kills it for me with 99% of porn!
This also means I prefer if the man is inside the bust or mouth for outtercourse, or in the ass or vagina for intercourse. And for the woman, if she can orgasm -- and repeatedly ejaculate (even if now visual) -- during intercourse, great! If not, a man should use all his tools (especially his soft tongue) to lip, lap, pierce, sooth and otherwise keep rubbing all through her orgasm so she is completely satisfied.
The fact that women "don't go" often and there is very limited porn titles that focus on only women who have "exterior/significant ejaculations" is very sad. There should be far more porn where the woman gets off, even if it's not completely noticeable in liquid or an external, visual ejaculation.
In fact, not directly seeing it but seeing the reactions/results and the "overflow" later is much, much better and more intense anyway.