Well,
My daughter is home. Looking fairly disheveled but at least she's alive and getting better. She looks better than the last time I saw her.
My wife is happy that we're all home.
I'm happy we are all home. Truly happy that I have such a wonderful family.
That trip changed me.
A lot. And I'm pretty sure it has changed my family too.
Hard to describe it and put it to words. I was afraid half-the-time.... and yet, the other half was just pure bliss. My ghosts didn't go away... and yet I picked up new ones. Happy ones (if that makes any sense).
Like I said, hard to describe.
Losing my Father is hard. I mourn his passing. Even today, sometimes I wonder "Now who will I call upon/look to for guidance and advice?" My parents are gone. I am now an orphan.
But at least he didn't suffer.
It has been a mixed Christmas for me.
I'm thankful for being alive - more or less in one piece.
I'm greatful for my family - my beloved wife, my precious,loving children and my lovable dogs.
Like I said, the trip has changed me.
A lot.
I never thought I'd be able to face my past.
Yes, the nightmares still return. There is still great grief, sorrow, horror, despair and loneliness.
But there is now also a sense of hope. Of purpose.
Of peace - mental and physical.
Contentment.
I now approach the future with a better grasp of my past.
cheers,