Seedy, sleazy, perverted, or otherwise not-safe-for kids Smurfs

[DrakeM]

Here you can find a list of all the actual Smurfs that have appeared on TV/movies/comics/etc: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_The_Smurfs_characters

However, that list is lacking the Smurfs that must exist in a real world - perverts, criminals, etc. Add your own to this thread and their brief description, like this:

Horny Smurf - constantly horny, will do anything to get off

Methy Smurf - addicted to crystal meth, really bad teeth

Trumpy Smurf - self-centered blowhard, dyes his skin orange badly

Drinky Smurf - not a bad guy but drinks too much (from a Big Bang Theory episode)

Fucky Smurf - will fuck anything with a hole, has a really bad case of syphilis

...and so on. If you like, add links to Smurf porn, like this: https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph595aebeb9127c
or this: https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph5eadfee9505ee

Oh, and if you think this is a stupid idea for a thread, well then SMURF YOU!

 

[Mr. Daystar]

Chronic smurf. wears a Rastafarian hat, and is always blazed up

 

[DrakeM]

OCD Smurf - knock knock, just what you think, knock knock, just what you think, knock knock, just what you think

Zombie Smurf - seems to have taste for brains, wait, didn't he die last week?

Tranny Smurf - looks a lot like Smurfette, but with one crucial difference

 

[Mr. Daystar]

Slutty Smurf.....Smurfettes disgraced older sister that had to leave town, "unexpectedly".

Stabby Smurf......A long police record full of armed robbery, petty theft, and assault.

Slappy Smurf.....I'm just gonna go ahead and guess, he got his name from how he treats his wife and kids.

 

[DrakeM]

Butterface Smurf - body like Smurfette, beard like Papa Smurf

Nazi Smurf - won't shut up about the purity of the Blue Race and the need to invade Poland

Asshole Smurf - looks normal enough but acts like an asshole most of the time

 

[DrakeM]

Flatulent Smurf - a real stinker

Androgenous Smurf - everyone is afraid to date him, or is it her?

Typhoid Smurf - only one who seems healthy when everyone else is sick

 

[Bluejaye]

Fuckit Smurf - World weary and has no time for any of your shit.

Fritzel Smurf - Just a nice quiet man, who keeps to himself and buys lots of groceries. Too far?

 

[Mr. Daystar]

Buffalo Bill Smurf..........it puts the lotion on.....

 

[DrakeM]

Cougar Smurf - Papa Smurf's ex who seems to have a date every night

Lawyer Smurf - Asshole Smurf's cousin

Dominatrix Smurf - She's going to hurt you and you'll like it

 

[Mr. Daystar]

Guido Smurf....he wets his beak in just about everything.

 

[DrakeM]

Prehistoric Smurf - Big, hairy, ugly and always playing with rocks

Radioactive Smurf - Poor bastard is dying of cancer for some reason

Herpies Smurf - You can fuck him, really, it's nothing to worry about

 

[DrakeM]

Traitor Smurf - Has a hotline to Gargamel

007 Smurf - Has a license to kill but prefers fucking

 

[Mr. Daystar]

Pharmi Smurf---your connection for a better life through pharmaceuticals.

Smurfkkake--looks JUST like Smurfette, except she's covered in Smurf splooge.

Selfie Smurf---always with the fuck phone and pictures.

Dr. Mrcus Smurfbey MD---the renowned doctor that can cure anything....but I guess this one is safe for kids.

 

[DrakeM]

Moron Smurf - Is usually put in charge of important government decisions

Brewmaster Smurf - Makes the best damn smurfberry juice

 

[DrakeM]

Jittery Smurf - On his 10th cup of coffee before you wake up

Commie Smurf - Calls everyone "comrade", wants to collective smurfberry production

 

[Mr. Daystar]

Java Smurf---keeping Jittery Smurf shaking with his fresh brewed goodness.

 

[DrakeM]

Godfather Smurf - He'll make you an offer you can't refuse

Fetish Smurf - Wants to see your toes for some reason

 

[DrakeM]

Minecraft Smurf - Looks weirdly blocky but comes back to life if he dies

Plague Smurf - High fever, coughing, big black weeping sores, what's not to love?

 

[Mr. Daystar]

The Grim Smurf---He seems to spend a lot of time around Typhoid Smurf, and Plague Smurf.

 

[DrakeM]

Cuckold Smurf - He just likes to watch

Karen Smurf - Obnoxious, entitled, and always calling the cops for no good reason