Corona = Mexican Piss
Risk your life or play it safe?
- Thread starter Red Spyder
- Start date
Mexicans pee beer? That has to be the coolest genetic mutation ever.
It would be, if it didn't taste like piss.
:goodpost: This! Now the thing is that I've been told that people who first meet me tend to think I'm a cop so it's hard for the ladies to set that first impression aside, though I did go to a strip club tonight and I may have met some possible "pay for play" ladies that were rather hot so I'll be back next week or the following week and hopefully if they get to know me and know I'm no cop they'll more than likely go for it. But we'll see.
And, yes, Corona is weak beer, just as weak as Budweiser or Coors. :tongue:
American piss.
bobjustbob
Proud member of FreeOnes Hall Of Fame. Retired to
It's not so much the citizens to fear, it's the corrupt police. Plenty of things to do and see here in the good old USA or Canada. They've got good trotters up there and we speak their language.
What the hell, I'll tell one of my Mexican border stories...
About 20 years ago, when I was living in Texas, I worked with a guy who had family in Laredo. Laredo has this "Jalapeno Festival" every year, and he was going with some friends (he lived in San Antonio, I lived in Houston). They invited me to go, so we all head down/over there.
I didn't know this then, but all the border towns have these areas where hookers are...i.e. the red zone, or la zona rosa. The one across the border in Nuevo Laredo is called Boystown. These places are all legal in Mexico, and I guess they're regulated, but whatever. My friend says "let's go check it out."
We drive to the border, walk over (he wouldn't drive a car in Mexico, and he's Mexican. He said Mexicans there fuck with American-Mexicans MUCH more than gringos like me, especially if they see you driving a decent car), and get a cab to the red zone.
Now, this is a Mexican cab, so we're already talking chit-mobile. It's night, we're already half-drunk, and this fucking cab starts driving into the night, and pretty soon, there is nothing around us. The seats have springs sticking out, we're bouncing over dirt roads with potholes as big as craters, middle of nowhere, I'm getting freaked out....and then, out of the darkness, looms this walled adobe fort-looking thing. Boystown.
We get out and this place is like something out of a western movie. Rustic would be flattering, but it's kinda cool in a wild wild west way. We head into this compound.
There are buildings and streets inside, maybe three small lanes separating some hotel-looking kinda room-places. There's also a few bars. We go to the largest one.
The place is like an old west saloon, but in authentic way. It's filled with two kinds of people...American guys, and Mexican women. The women ranged from 3s to 7s. There may have been an 8 or two. Most of them are HARD looking. Lots of makeup and big hair (this was the early 90s, so....).
My friend says "we need to see the donkey show." We head over for that, go into this building, get a good seat, and wait, and start ordering beers. Two hours, three skanky strippers, and a bunch of beers later, we still haven't seen any donkey come out, so we abandon this, thinking it's a scam.
By now, we're shit-faced. We head to another bar and get more shit-faced, and spend a few hours letting these Mexican chicks sell us.
I ain't buying, I'm just there for the experience, and my friend says the same thing...but then, as we're walking around the compound, some hooker grabs him and starts making out with him. Next thing I know....he's in her room.
I head back to the main bar and for the next hour, I get shitty drunk.
Finally he shows up with a shit-eating grin. Says he got a blow job. Whatever...it's late now, the place has cleared out considerably, so we decide to leave.
We get up and I say "I spent the rest of my cash at the bar, can you get the cab?" He says sure, reaches for his wallet...
and it's gone. With his watch, and a gold chain. Pickpocketed clean, we assumed by the hooker.
So here we are, 3 in the morning, no money, in the middle of BFE Mexico, surrounded by hookers and, at this point, mostly Mexican guys looking at us like they want to roll us. Most of the American guys are gone by now. We have no idea what to do. I am in a mild state of panic at this point, and have sobered completely up.
Finally, we spot a pair of American guys leaving, and ask them to share a cab, and we'll pay for it once we reach the border (and can get money from an ATM in Laredo). They agree, and the night ends quietly after that.
So that's my first border town story...
About 20 years ago, when I was living in Texas, I worked with a guy who had family in Laredo. Laredo has this "Jalapeno Festival" every year, and he was going with some friends (he lived in San Antonio, I lived in Houston). They invited me to go, so we all head down/over there.
I didn't know this then, but all the border towns have these areas where hookers are...i.e. the red zone, or la zona rosa. The one across the border in Nuevo Laredo is called Boystown. These places are all legal in Mexico, and I guess they're regulated, but whatever. My friend says "let's go check it out."
We drive to the border, walk over (he wouldn't drive a car in Mexico, and he's Mexican. He said Mexicans there fuck with American-Mexicans MUCH more than gringos like me, especially if they see you driving a decent car), and get a cab to the red zone.
Now, this is a Mexican cab, so we're already talking chit-mobile. It's night, we're already half-drunk, and this fucking cab starts driving into the night, and pretty soon, there is nothing around us. The seats have springs sticking out, we're bouncing over dirt roads with potholes as big as craters, middle of nowhere, I'm getting freaked out....and then, out of the darkness, looms this walled adobe fort-looking thing. Boystown.
We get out and this place is like something out of a western movie. Rustic would be flattering, but it's kinda cool in a wild wild west way. We head into this compound.
There are buildings and streets inside, maybe three small lanes separating some hotel-looking kinda room-places. There's also a few bars. We go to the largest one.
The place is like an old west saloon, but in authentic way. It's filled with two kinds of people...American guys, and Mexican women. The women ranged from 3s to 7s. There may have been an 8 or two. Most of them are HARD looking. Lots of makeup and big hair (this was the early 90s, so....).
My friend says "we need to see the donkey show." We head over for that, go into this building, get a good seat, and wait, and start ordering beers. Two hours, three skanky strippers, and a bunch of beers later, we still haven't seen any donkey come out, so we abandon this, thinking it's a scam.
By now, we're shit-faced. We head to another bar and get more shit-faced, and spend a few hours letting these Mexican chicks sell us.
I ain't buying, I'm just there for the experience, and my friend says the same thing...but then, as we're walking around the compound, some hooker grabs him and starts making out with him. Next thing I know....he's in her room.
I head back to the main bar and for the next hour, I get shitty drunk.
Finally he shows up with a shit-eating grin. Says he got a blow job. Whatever...it's late now, the place has cleared out considerably, so we decide to leave.
We get up and I say "I spent the rest of my cash at the bar, can you get the cab?" He says sure, reaches for his wallet...
and it's gone. With his watch, and a gold chain. Pickpocketed clean, we assumed by the hooker.
So here we are, 3 in the morning, no money, in the middle of BFE Mexico, surrounded by hookers and, at this point, mostly Mexican guys looking at us like they want to roll us. Most of the American guys are gone by now. We have no idea what to do. I am in a mild state of panic at this point, and have sobered completely up.
Finally, we spot a pair of American guys leaving, and ask them to share a cab, and we'll pay for it once we reach the border (and can get money from an ATM in Laredo). They agree, and the night ends quietly after that.
So that's my first border town story...
Strip clubs are ONLY for entertainment...who wants to catch a disease? CLubs are full of drunk, and party bitches...which is good for a one night stand, at best. Wifey material comes is the most unusual ways...trust me, I met my wife at a funeral. I used to be heavy in the club scene, and even the strip clubs too. Those places are only "quick fix"!
Go to Mexico and get laid.
