Rate The Joke Above You

Simple really...rate the joke of the last post out of 10, and then post your own joke

Can be any type of joke...Konck knock, One liners, Yo Momma etc,
But please try not to be very offensive:hatsoff:

I'll Start Off

What's a birth control pill?


It's the second best thing a woman can put in her mouth to prevent pregnancy.
 
9

George Bush and Dick Cheney are talking, when Bush suddenly complains "I **** all the dumb George Bush jokes people tell about me."

Cheney, feeling sorry for his "boss," says "Oh, they're only jokes. There are a lot of truly stupid people out there. Here, I'll prove it to you."

Cheney takes Bush outside and hails a cab.

"Please take me to 29 Nickel Street to see if I'm home," says Cheney. The cab driver, without saying a word, drives them to 29 Nickel Street.

Cheney looks at Bush and says, "See! This guy is really stupid."

George Bush agrees. "He really is a dummy. There was a pay phone just around the corner. You could have called instead."
 
I give it a 9



Dinner Party



A wife and her husband were having a dinner party for all the major status figures in Rome, Italy. The wife was very excited about this and wanted everything to be perfect. At the very last minute, she realized that she didn't have any snails for this dinner party, so she asked her husband to run down to the beach with the bucket she was handing him to gather some snails. Very grudgingly he agreed.

He took the bucket, walked out the door, down the steps, and out to the beach. As he was collecting the snails, he noticed a beautiful woman strolling alongside the water just a little further down the beach. He kept thinking to himself "Wouldn't it be great if she would even just come down and talk to me." He went back to gathering the snails.

All of a sudden he looked up, and the beautiful woman was standing right over him. They got to talking, and she invited him back to her place. They were at her apartment a ways down the beach, and they started messing around. It got so hot and heavy, that he was exhausted afterwards and ****** out there.

At seven o'clock the next morning he woke up and exclaimed, "Oh no!!! My wife's dinner party!!!" He gathered all his clothes, put them on real fast, grabbed his bucket, and ran out the door.

He ran down the beach all the way to his apartment. He ran up the stairs of his apartment. He was in such a hurry that when he got to the top of the stairs, he dropped the bucket of snails. There were snails all down the stairs. The door opened just then, with a very angry wife standing in the door way wondering where he's been all this time. He looked at the snails all down the steps, then he looked at her, then back at the snails and said: "Come on guys, we're almost there!"
 
9/10 lol



A young teenaged girl was a prostitute and, for obvious reasons, kept it a secret from her grandma. One day, the police raided a brothel and arrested a group of prostitutes, including the young girl. The prostitutes were instructed to line up in a straight line on the sidewalk. Well, who should be walking in the neighborhood, but little old Grandma. The young girl was frantic.

Sure enough, Grandma noticed her young granddaughter and asked curiously, "What are you lining up for, dear?" Not willing to let grandma in on her little secret, the young girl told her that some people were *********** free oranges and that she was lining up for some.

"Mmm, sounds lovely," said Grandma. "I think i will have some myself," she continued as she made her way to the back of the line. A police officer made his way down the line, questioning all of the prostitutes. When he got to Grandma, at the end of the line, he was bewildered. "But you are so old... how do you do it?"

Grandma replied, "Oh, it’s quite easy, sonny... I just remove my dentures and suck em dry!"
 
i give it a solid 7 1/2

To truely appreciate this joke you need a little background story.
When I was a junior in high school I had a stupid ass english teacher who made us right daily journals. One day I asked her if I could right about the most ridiculous, made up things I could think of, she agreed. So I wrote about eating deep fried babies which was a running joke between me and my best friend. In turn she reported me to the principle which ultimately got me a 2 day suspession, weeks of therapy, to prove i wasnt crazy, and a 24 hour suicide watch. (This story is absolutely true.)

Now the joke:
Whats the difference between a baby and a hamburger?

I dont fuck my hamburgers before I eat them!!
 
Umm...I'm going to just go ahead and give that like a 3. I appreciate disgusting, pointless jokes, but...wow.

What does a guy with a 10" dick eat for breakfast?

Ahh, I usually have bacon and eggs.
 
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