Is she worth all this?

[Cerat]

We have had contact since may 08. We live far away from each other and recently the relationship has not been as good as both of us hoped for. We're planing seeing each other soon, and she thinks it's a good idea having just Friday to sunday, not Friday to tuesday as planned.
The reason why is that she doesn't want us to go on each others nerves. If we choose Friday to sunday, she's afraid that'll happend.

We've been dating almost a year, and now she only want to see me in the weekend.

 

[ChefChiTown]

First question...

Are you online dating or do you actually know one another in person?

 

[Cerat]

No, we know one another in person!

 

[DOA82]

I think we need a little more detail here.

 

[mrtrebus]

Long distance relationships are tough, but if she is wanting to shorten the time coz you'll get on each other's nerves!!!! Time to call it a day I think, or at the very least have a long talk about why you get on each others nerves, is it a permanent thing? Or are other outside factors affecting the relationship?

 

[ChefChiTown]

I think we need a little more detail here.

Yeah, exactly.

- Was this a long distance relationship from the start or were you dating for a while and then she moved?
- How often do you normally see eachother?
- How far away from one another are you?
- How long have you known her, including pre-dating?
etc.

 

[Cerat]

We've met 4 times, including christmas. The 3rd time we met, we had an argument, but it turned out great. We came a lot closer to each other. But during christmas-weekend something happened. We misunderstood each others feelings. Yet again we talked, but she was more unsecure then me, so we decided to meet one more time to see if this is what we really want to do.

She told me that she on purpose keeps distance from me because she is afraid we're going to have a fight. She want to lay low until we meet again...

Yes, we met online in may. Met her in july, then september, then oktober and last in desember. We try to meet as often as possible and talked about every month, but 4 times since may 08, isn't often...
We live 2,5 hours by plane, including transfer, from each other.
Known her for about 9 months.. long enough for the nervous moments to pass.

We actually don't know why the relationship is troubleing. That's is what we want to find out, but I don't think there is enough time in a weekend.

 

[gunslingingbird]

From my own personal experience, online relationships don't work. If you're both hellbent on making it work, I think you should take things slowly and start out with only a day or two at a time. If you think about it, as much as you've interacted online, you've only seen each other 4 times. You should definitely spend more time physically together to find out whether you're right for each other or not. Virtual time is no substitute for in-person time.

Now, from what you say she's told you, it sounds like she's either being cautious and trying to go slowly, or she's just not that into you. Both of those could be perfectly normal, as you're someone whom she met online, and after 4 meetings she may not be sure about you yet. Give it 2 more meetings before she starts easing up. Not everyone just opens up to someone else immediately. It took me almost 10 years of knowing my best friend before she felt comfortable enough to let me go in her room.

I would give it a couple more meetings before I started freaking out about her not wanting to spend more than a couple days with me.

 

[Bone]

do what she wants

 

[Peter Gazinya]

She told me that she on purpose keeps distance from me because she is afraid we're going to have a fight. She want to lay low until we meet again...

She's a paranoid whack job. It'll only get worse in time. Move on.

 

[Torre82]

She's a paranoid whack job. It'll only get worse in time. Move on.

As a paranoid whack job myself, I can safely say it's completely fine to drop this girl as if she's a porcupine on a whiskey bender looking to mate with your ballsack.

.....now that THAT mental image is out there.. let her go. It's not going to work even if you moved to her. Back to wanking off to pix and cybering, my friend.

 

[D-rock]

What I find strange is the fact that you hardly see each other now, like a few times a year, but when you do spending a day or two extra seems like a horrible thing to either her or both of you because You Might get in an argument. In my opinion as of right now that definitely doesn't seem like a healthy relationship. People that are in a relationship and like each other usually can't wait to see the other person in that kind of situation. I'm not saying you should drop each other, because I can't make that decision for somebody else, but if you want it to work your both going to have to get together and do what it takes to make it so, and find out what the problems are so you can fix them. Otherwise it just looks like a train wreck coming sooner or later.

 

[Yankeefan21325]

Well, if you only see one another occasionally, and shes already worried about getting on one anothers nerves, is the relationship really going to go anywhere, I think not. End it and go find a nice girl who enjoys your company, not one that worries about getting on each others nerves after just seeing you 4 times.

 

[Sicario]

We have had contact since may 08. We live far away from each other and recently the relationship has not been as good as both of us hoped for. We're planing seeing each other soon, and she thinks it's a good idea having just Friday to Sunday, not Friday to Tuesday as planned.
The reason why is that she doesn't want us to go on each others nerves. If we choose Friday to Sunday, she's afraid that'll happened.

We've been dating almost a year, and now she only want to see me in the weekend.

Amigo, there is a very strong possibility that she is seeing someone on a consistent basis versus the email/phone/messenger and every other monthly weekend visit thingy she has with you.

:2 cents:

Good luck.

 

[assholebythedoor]

I don't know, I had this experience as well. You can see her, just be who you are. If she laughs in your face, it could be love.

 

[STDiva]

I don't know, I had this experience as well. You can see her, just be who you are. If she laughs in your face, it could be love.

 

[Cerat]

I sadly have to say that we decided to end this relationship. It's not going anywhere.. thank you for you help!

 

[Peter Gazinya]

Hooray! Congratulations. May I suggest you move on and forget this as quickly as possible.

 

[Demonyx]

Probably not. If a woman is really into you she makes things easy for you. If spending 3 versus 2 days is a deal breaker, she either wants to play games, she's crazy, or a combination of both. My advice: drop her and date someone within an hour of you.

:glugglug:
Demo

 

[maanlest]

Ya. Give it a shot. but just be careful