Is Cohabitation Before Marriage Good or Bad?

[No_Man]

When they DO change you, all you get is "You aren't the man I married"

I think the elevated failure rate for those who cohabit first is, as I hinted before,that if you say "marriage is a big step , let's try living together first" what you may well be meaning is "I'm not convinced I want to make a lifetime commitment"......all well and good as long as there are no resulting children.

Completely agree. And, ironically, I think there are some aspects of cohabitation that actually suck you into commitment faster than you would have liked. People move in together and think that it will be a nice middle ground between dating and marriage, but then they get themselves trapped into sharing leases/titles, bills, appliances/furniture, food, and (sometimes) children. They never intended to make the commitment of marriage, but all of a sudden they're so trapped in this relationship that there's no way they could leave anyway. So marriage simply becomes a validation of their poor decision to trap themselves with this person to whom they otherwise wouldn't have made such a large commitment. Meanwhile, those who didn't cohabitate still have the freedom and luxury to objectively evaluate the relationship and end it if it's not what they thought it would be.

 

[Kingfisher]

It's a good thing. But I've heard that "supoosedly" every 7 years a person's personality changes. I'm starting to believe that.

 

[~~whimsy~~]

You best be sure you are ready to commit once you are readying to take this step to live with her day and night.

Personally I'd prefer me own place until marriage. With that said if it should end there will be no hustle and bustle to find a new place for whoever it is that is leaving. Or if the whole place is going and the both of you are going have to find your own place.

Not to mention marriage will change it no matter what. Just be sure she is the one you want to marry before you do marry. Which is why I'd prefer to have separate living places so if it should end we are still good to go with our own lives and no longer taking apart one thing into two separate things and argue over what is what, who owns what, and all that silly stuff.

 

[blackbull1970]

Good

 

[E-Ann-Hilden]

Living with my girlfriend for 3 of the 5 years we have dated. It has worked out very well.

 

[Shadowslayer77]

All I can say is that if you know the person well you'll be ok. Live together or don't before marriage... but make sure you have tlked about everything and spent at least long weekends together. However with that said, no matter how well you know them marriage will change some things.

 

[JayJohn85]

It's a good thing. But I've heard that "supoosedly" every 7 years a person's personality changes. I'm starting to believe that.

Women man they just dont have the consistency of blokes

 

[Lonilover]

you test drive a car before you by it

i completely agree with this !

 

[loveakirayui]

It is an absolute must to live with someone before marriage I think. Otherwise you'll be in for way too many surprises. Even first time vacationing together can shed some light on your relationship.

 

[Mister Voldude]

Why not ... This would make sex
more interesting if I wait for the right girl ...

 

[coachturnmire]

i like the whole idea because it gives you idea of what its like to live with the other person everyday and you can see how they are @ home. i dont really see much down side to it unless things just dont work out

 

[marquis2]

i like the whole idea because it gives you idea of what its like to live with the other person everyday and you can see how they are @ home. i dont really see much down side to it unless things just dont work out

What this means though is you live together because you're not really sure about the relationship.In many cases the doubts are found to be true.There should be no need to test the water.
Those who have no doubts often just get married and have a far higher chance of a successful outcome.