Im losing my virginity next week and seek advice

[lurkingdirk]

Punish yourself all day. A few good fists to the nuts every hour or so. Hot water shaft scolding. Perhaps hot wax. By the end of the day, when she's got her mouth on you, you'll be in so much pain that you'll be able to last the full 90 minutes.

Oh, and BlueBalls had it half right. Don't cry after, cry the whole way through.

 

[Sparky Shortz]

I can't resist an old joke...

Do you know the difference between an escort and a bowling ball???

You can eat a bowling ball if you have to!!!

Sorry...I wish you luck :eek:

ok im losing my virginity to an escort next week and would like some good advice.

please no joke comments or abuse just good solid advice on how to last as long as possible, best way to lick her out, how to make her cum etc.

thanks in advance for any constructive advice.

 

[tjones80]

Punish yourself all day. A few good fists to the nuts every hour or so. Hot water shaft scolding. Perhaps hot wax. By the end of the day, when she's got her mouth on you, you'll be in so much pain that you'll be able to last the full 90 minutes.

Oh, and BlueBalls had it half right. Don't cry after, cry the whole way through.

HA! That's some funny s**t.

 

[dadolfo]

Don't be too nervous, the second I worried about cumming too soon, I did, have a drink, jerk it whatever helps you relax. Just remember she's a pro she is like your training wheels. If you feel the chimes slow down and penetrate deep. If you cum too soon, the second time will be better. bottom line have fun:hatsoff:


oh, and if she laughs, maybe you oughta take a page from Mr. Bateman's handbook.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wRxT_Q1p54w

 

[Ace Bandage]

HA! That's some funny s**t.

Ugh! Sorry, but this is one of my pet peeves. If we can post nude pictures here, I think we can fuckin' curse too. You don't need to put in any goddamn asterisks. Next time, write out the whole word.

Don't let it happen again. I've killed for smaller transgressions than this before, keep that in mind...

 

[lurkingdirk]

Ugh! Sorry, but this is one of my pet peeves. If we can post nude pictures here, I think we can fuckin' curse too. You don't need to put in any goddamn asterisks. Next time, write out the whole word.

Don't let it happen again. I've killed for smaller transgressions than this before, keep that in mind...

C**k sucker, ba$tard f&&king piece of $hit. Don't tell me how to f%%king swear, you ^%$##ing *(ed ***ing %*#${})(*&*er.

 

[~~whimsy~~]

C**k sucker, ba$tard f&&king piece of $hit. Don't tell me how to f%%king swear, you ^%$##ing *(ed ***ing %*#${})(*&*er.

You are one b****s a**h**e!

Wow. I can't believe you were so edgy as to type some thing as crude and mean like that! Excuse me now while I go post a anal gape photo in appropriate thread. That s*** is messed up!

 

[lurkingdirk]

You are one b****s a**h**e!

Wow. I can't believe you were so edgy as to type some thing as crude and mean like that! Excuse me now while I go post a anal gape photo in appropriate thread. That s*** is messed up!

Will it be the photo I sent you earlier this week, depicting the moral weakness of South America as depicted by a posed post-anal-reaming of PlasmaTwa2?

I feel that's my strongest work.

 

[BlueBalls]

Just remember, when you're dealing with a corpse, less is more.

(in the disposal sense, of course )

 

[lurkingdirk]

Just remember, when you're dealing with a corpse, less is more.

(in the disposal sense, of course )

All you need is a scope.

 

[STDiva]

This pretty much sums up my thoughts on this thread.

 

[lurkingdirk]

STDiva, you've just shocked me to post nothing:

 

[Katja]

Man I remember losing my virginity. Honestly, don't worry about cumming to fast. With my first time I knew I was going to get some so I jacked it in advance, plus with a condom on there was less pleasure wich allowed me to last longer. For the most part I enjoyed it and it didn't end in two min. Just keep it basic and don't try anything you aren't ready for. I remember trying to imatate some of the shit I had seen in pornos and lets just say there were moments when I looked like a jackass and it was clear I had no idea of what I was doing. LOL

 

[PlasmaTwa2]

This pretty much sums up my thoughts on this thread.

This thread makes you want to choke the chicken?

Whatever floats your boat.

:dunno:

 

[~~whimsy~~]

Will it be the photo I sent you earlier this week, depicting the moral weakness of South America as depicted by a posed post-anal-reaming of PlasmaTwa2?

I feel that's my strongest work.

It will be the photo we took together. You remember that night, when I made you a nice homemade dinner, and after dinner we... well. You know

 

[lurkingdirk]

It will be the photo we took together. You remember that night, when I made you a nice homemade dinner, and after dinner we... well. You know

Nice edit, bitch.

I remember dessert. Dinner? did we eat?

:nannerf1:

 

[~~whimsy~~]

We ate. Then we killed that random hobo, feasted upon his body, then had blood sex with each other. From there we made a orgy with just the two of us. However, between the music, emotions, and blood pulse.... we really became one. We coalesced and orgasmed so strongly we caused an earthquake in California... even though we are located in the Midwest!!!

 

[PirateKing]

We ate. Then we killed that random hobo, feasted upon his body, then had blood sex with each other. From there we made a orgy with just the two of us. However, between the music, emotions, and blood pulse.... we really became one. We coalesced and orgasmed so strongly we caused an earthquake in California... even though we are located in the Midwest!!!

that was you guys? i thought that earthquake felt a little orgy-ish

 

[~~whimsy~~]

Oh it was as grand as an orgy between two people could ever get!

 

[dadolfo]

two people and a dead hobo don't make an orgy