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Have you ever.............

no

been irritated by a young kid, you were on the verge of smacking him or her
 
no lol

hit your keyboard so hard because your computer was pissing you off
 
nope. never/

been constipated and had to seek medical attention
 
no i'm not a crowd person in general i like to go to places when not many folk are there or places that don't get busy in general...not really a phobia more that if enough folk accumulate there is a critical mass of douchebaggery reached

read adam smith's seminal work
 
no

opened your car door and slammed into the car parked next to you leaving a big dent
 
i chugged some milk once when i was thirsty...and the after taste let me know i fucked up...shockingly it didn't really mess with my gut all that much

fallen asleep and face planted in food
 
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