Finding used porn in the woods.

Ace Boobtoucher

Founder and Captain of the Douchepatrol
I was listening to a "How did this get made?" podcast earlier today and the topic of found porn was broached and it got me thinking.

Growing up in Urbandale, IA, my ******* and I would often find ourselves walking through wooded areas near our home. On more than a few occasions we'd find a few crumpled P-boys, Penthouses or the random Hustler magazines near a couple different clearings. I've heard others speak of the phenomenon before and wondered if anyone else here had similar experiences.

It begs the following questions:

1) How did these stashes wind up in the woods?

2) Who would do their porn perusing in the woods and why?

3) How much use did these magazines get and should we have been concerned with how they were used?
 
I was listening to a "How did this get made?" podcast earlier today and the topic of found porn was broached and it got me thinking.

Growing up in Urbandale, IA, my ******* and I would often find ourselves walking through wooded areas near our home. On more than a few occasions we'd find a few crumpled P-boys, Penthouses or the random Hustler magazines near a couple different clearings. I've heard others speak of the phenomenon before and wondered if anyone else here had similar experiences.

It begs the following questions:

1) How did these stashes wind up in the woods?

2) Who would do their porn perusing in the woods and why?

3) How much use did these magazines get and should we have been concerned with how they were used?

It's Iowa.... Idiot Out Wonderin' Around
 
Of course you're going to find used porn all through the woods. Little known fact... Sasquatches are chronic masturbators.
 
Never found porn in the woods. I grew up around a large Amish community, so I did find things like battery powered radios. A few Amish **** kept stashes like that.
 
It's obvious ya'll are really knowledgeable about Sasquatch; what have ya got on Nessie?
 
Maybe **** sneaking naughty mags out their ***'s stash?

So my grandfather was an avid Playboy collector. I mean huge. He had like every issue and they were in pristine condition. When he ******, my *** and aunt wanted to sell them...obviously...worth some good money. My grandmother said no, she refused to contribute to masturbation materials for young men. So she made my *** burn the magazines.

This is the same woman who burned her dead husband's boxer shorts. Because if she threw them away in the trash, then bears at the dump might dig them out and get them stuck on their heads. She didn't want bears running around with my grandpa's undies. These are the things that kept her awake at night.
 
I never found porn in the woods. I never went looking for porn in the woods. I never really went in the woods, despite them being closer to my house than any of the parks, playing fields or anywhere else I might hang around.

I did once lose some porn in the woods or rather had it lost for me though. I had lent a friend my copy of Playmates In Bed (with Alesha Marie Oreskovich on the cover) already and we had recently both bought some "open leg" magazines from another boy in the school loos at hometime (as you did at the time) and after a few days with the ones we had bought, we did a swap, which involved him borrowing from me one Parade, one Men Only and a copy of Mens World with Joanne Guest playing with ice cubes (which was precious to me, already). After a couple of days I asked him if we could swap back, and he confessed he had just that morning left my stash (including my PIB) in a plastic bag tied to a tree branch in the woods because he was scared his mum would find them. I went ballistic failing to understand why, if he could smuggle them out of his house on the way to school, why he couldn't just bring them to school and give them back to me. I told him to go back to the woods at lunchtime and recover them for me. He went, but they were already gone.

We are no longer friends.

This is the same woman who burned her dead husband's boxer shorts. Because if she threw them away in the trash, then bears at the dump might dig them out and get them stuck on their heads.

:rofl2:
 
As lads we used to stumble upon the occasional discarded mag - like Fiesta or something like that and it was great. We then progressed to working washing cars during our holidays to save enough to buy a Penthouse or Club International. Smuggling them in and out of the house was like operation impossible. :D
 
In the mid '80s as a *** I rode my bike past a magazine on a road. I turned back and it was a playboy. It was the Janet Jones issue which also caught Wayne Gretzky's eyes. Man there were some good pics of Janet.
 
I feel this thread hasn't had any definitive answers and is deserving of more.
 
Us boys found one at the back of the playground once.

Apparently a figure liken to that of Santa or the Easter Bunny like to leave them at wee hours in the morning to be found by adventurous young people.
 
I once found a porn magazine in a stripe of wood next to the pathe that was a shortcut up to the school I went to. I was 13, and I saw some colourful thing, looking closer, I saw there was a NUDE WOMAN!!!

It was a RODOX porn magazine, and I later cut it up, sold each page for 1 Deutschmark, just the middle pages i left together, there was a girl taking a facial from a black guy, I took two Deutschmarks for that.

The road I would travel in life was clear :bedbounce:
 
1) How did these stashes wind up in the woods? As an adolescent, my friends and I used to hide our skin rags in the woods so our parents wouldn't find them.

2) Who would do their porn perusing in the woods and why? Couldn't do it at home (parents), couldn't do it in public (everybody else) so the woods seemed like a really obvious option.

3) How much use did these magazines get and should we have been concerned with how they were used? Not sure what you mean by "used" but we looked at them just about any chance we got. Porn was much more ***** back in those days (and a lot more softcore) so to be caught with it by an authority figure would be a fate worse than death. :eek:
 
When I was a *** I rolled the house of the neighborhood chicken hawk and he had tons o' porno. No way in heck he could call the cops so the place got tossed real good. Milk crates full of putrid filth.
 
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