So I'm talking to my old Da about handjob joints and he's like
"Oh, you gotta try "the Imperial.'" I'm like, "Is that a place? I've
never heard of it."
Turns out 'the Imperial' is a handjob with a finger up the pooper. (Pinkie
is the straight 'Imperial' but if they use the middle finger it's known as
'the Grand Imperial'.)
As soon as get off the phone I start calling around all the 'massage' joints
in the area but no one's heard of it'.
I call my dad back and he's like "Nah nah nah nah nah. You gotta call this
place in Pasadena." It turns out to be this unlisted joint that's been around
forever, and when I get them on the phone, this lady with a 3-packs-a-day
gravely voice is like "Yup. We do it. Come on in."
The place is this Victorian house in the middle of a residential neighborhood.
The lady, who apparently was a big deal stripper back in the day (she worked
under the name "Beaver Sweet") tells me the neighbors have been trying to
get rid of them for years, but "they can go screw."
There were a few younger gals lounging around, all reasonably hot,
but I decided to go with experience and choose Ms. Sweet.
She takes me into a backroom, tells me to drop 'em, and as she goes
for my equipment she says "Well ain't you got a swanky penis."
Needless to say I was tickled pink and goddamned if that wasn't
hands-down the best handjob I've ever had. (I should mention she
had a cigarette dangling out of her mouth the entire time, and it
only made me harder.)
Swanky penis or no, next time you go to a handjob shack,
ask for 'the Imperial.' You won't regret it.
"Oh, you gotta try "the Imperial.'" I'm like, "Is that a place? I've
never heard of it."
Turns out 'the Imperial' is a handjob with a finger up the pooper. (Pinkie
is the straight 'Imperial' but if they use the middle finger it's known as
'the Grand Imperial'.)
As soon as get off the phone I start calling around all the 'massage' joints
in the area but no one's heard of it'.
I call my dad back and he's like "Nah nah nah nah nah. You gotta call this
place in Pasadena." It turns out to be this unlisted joint that's been around
forever, and when I get them on the phone, this lady with a 3-packs-a-day
gravely voice is like "Yup. We do it. Come on in."
The place is this Victorian house in the middle of a residential neighborhood.
The lady, who apparently was a big deal stripper back in the day (she worked
under the name "Beaver Sweet") tells me the neighbors have been trying to
get rid of them for years, but "they can go screw."
There were a few younger gals lounging around, all reasonably hot,
but I decided to go with experience and choose Ms. Sweet.
She takes me into a backroom, tells me to drop 'em, and as she goes
for my equipment she says "Well ain't you got a swanky penis."
Needless to say I was tickled pink and goddamned if that wasn't
hands-down the best handjob I've ever had. (I should mention she
had a cigarette dangling out of her mouth the entire time, and it
only made me harder.)
Swanky penis or no, next time you go to a handjob shack,
ask for 'the Imperial.' You won't regret it.
