Drink, drank, drunk. Dipsos post here!
- Thread starter coors
- Start date
ChefChiTown
The secret ingredient? MY BALLS
Yeah, because it deeeefinitely wasn't me who put that hickey on your neck. Not me at all...heh. :uohs: Zombies dude, it was definitely the...the zombies?
Oh fuck...what is this on my penis? I think it...I think it's man lipstick. What the...
:wipes finger on it and touches it to tongue:
PHEW. Nope...it's just marinara sauce. But, how did...uuuuuh ooooooh. I dooooone it again! :dunno:
:cheesy 80's sitcom music hits:
Stay tuned! FreeOnes Comedy Hour will be right back after these messages.
Hmm..
::runs over to my local Olive Garden::
Excuse me, can I have some marinara?
Sure.
Um.. would you say that this sauce would, um.. ya know.. last sorta long under friction?
I'm not sure I understand. What are you trying to do, baste something?
Well yes. But I mean.. if I were to put this on my.. I mean put this on like, a crankshaft or something.. would the lubrication hold very long?
...um.. what?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE CAN I JERK OFF WITH THIS?!?!?
...
..
...
::he looks around, nervously::
Yes. The little tomato bitties are hardcore stimulation.
::runs over to my local Olive Garden::
Excuse me, can I have some marinara?
Sure.
Um.. would you say that this sauce would, um.. ya know.. last sorta long under friction?
I'm not sure I understand. What are you trying to do, baste something?
Well yes. But I mean.. if I were to put this on my.. I mean put this on like, a crankshaft or something.. would the lubrication hold very long?
...um.. what?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE CAN I JERK OFF WITH THIS?!?!?
...
..
...
::he looks around, nervously::
Yes. The little tomato bitties are hardcore stimulation.
ChefChiTown
The secret ingredient? MY BALLS
If Gulden Draak was a woman...I would fall in love with it...ask it to marry me...make sweet love to it on our honeymoon...and then shoot my spermizations all inside of it's baby making parts and have little Gulden Draaks who could run around town, getting people drunk and making things more fun.
:reads what he just typed:
God, I am so drunk.
:reads what he just typed:
God, I am so drunk.
ChefChiTown
The secret ingredient? MY BALLS
BUMPITY BUMPERSON...
I'm so drunk that I'm watching Nick At Nite, which is showing a Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air marathon, and I'm laughing so hard that my stomach hurts. Beer makes everything better. Even Carlton Banks.
I'm so drunk that I'm watching Nick At Nite, which is showing a Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air marathon, and I'm laughing so hard that my stomach hurts. Beer makes everything better. Even Carlton Banks.
I noticed something a few minutes ago. I tend to turn cynical (while tired - hence, a drunk wake up) and talk to myself (once again, cynics mumble to themselves oh dear gawd that boozefart was awesome. ::sniffs again:: aww fuck that is awful. mmm.)
But also after a hard wake up.. when you realize last night you smoked 2 camel unfiltered, a menthol and drank way too much in the span of almost 2 hours... (you mumble to yourself s'more about what you do and do not remember, where is some food? Where is my drink? Did I leave it on the patio again? Oh shit son, it's on the OTHER guy's patio. ::tiptoes over:: MINE!
But I noticed. With a haggard throat, an empty stomach and anime-style hair (so I slept on styled hair and it restyled itself to fucking Yugioh blonde electric hair guy's hairdo. So what? ::downs some mango mojito:: Also, when waking in such a state, you tend to vocalize fewer words.. yet talk more.
To get to the point.. I sound like fucking Rorscach in the mornings. Throaty, rumbling, simple speech.
But also after a hard wake up.. when you realize last night you smoked 2 camel unfiltered, a menthol and drank way too much in the span of almost 2 hours... (you mumble to yourself s'more about what you do and do not remember, where is some food? Where is my drink? Did I leave it on the patio again? Oh shit son, it's on the OTHER guy's patio. ::tiptoes over:: MINE!
But I noticed. With a haggard throat, an empty stomach and anime-style hair (so I slept on styled hair and it restyled itself to fucking Yugioh blonde electric hair guy's hairdo. So what? ::downs some mango mojito:: Also, when waking in such a state, you tend to vocalize fewer words.. yet talk more.
To get to the point.. I sound like fucking Rorscach in the mornings. Throaty, rumbling, simple speech.
Yeah I'm starting to love beer, didn't before but do now.
Nothing better than going out getting drunk, having a smoke then finish off with sex.
My basic alcohol lineup is; Bombay Sapphire Gin over rocks, Remy Martin Cognac (VSOP when I'm out, XO Excellence at home), Glenfiddich 18 y.o. (only at home), only mixed drink I drink is a (extra dry) Dirty Martini. I will drink a Tequila shot or two among friends and wine according to the meal. Definitely a good Cab with my steak though.
Almost forgot the beer. Sam Adams seasonal brews (Summer Ale, Oktoberfest, Winter Lager, Double Bock...still want to find and try Utopia), IPA from a local micro-brewer or any of the Unibroue beers (usually La Fin Du Monde or Trois Pistoles)
Almost forgot the beer. Sam Adams seasonal brews (Summer Ale, Oktoberfest, Winter Lager, Double Bock...still want to find and try Utopia), IPA from a local micro-brewer or any of the Unibroue beers (usually La Fin Du Monde or Trois Pistoles)
afkallthetiem
Banned
yo i dunno what this thread is about i didnt read it (too long) but i am v drunk right now from some whiskey funny story i knew a guy who's cat was named whiskey you know if i keep drinking tonight i may just name a cat whiskey <pussy joke>
loool
afkallthetiem
Banned
hahah female posters on a porn forum, thats funny man you funny
I agree! Everywhere except for the US.:1orglaugh
do u know how much DUIs there are daily? ban alcohol
Do you know how many accidents happen without alcohol everyday? Ban driving
DUIs aren't accidents. they are a stupidity caused by a completely unnecessary product dat doesn't even quench ur thirst. talk about taking drinking for granted. you only need water. is ur life dat shitty where u needa divulge into ur own fantasy world where everything is blurry and slow?
afkallthetiem
Banned
yea
Uh no. People who appreciate good wine and spirits don't drink them for the purposes of getting drunk. They drink them for the taste. That's the first place you're wrong.
Secondly, driving drunk IS irresponsible but it's no more irresponsible than any other irresponsible act while behind the wheel of an automobile.
Because alcohol is legal it doesn't mean people will drive drunk or under the influence. There are many people who drink but don't drive.
People have varying levels of responsibility...that's just a simple fact of life. If you don't want to ever risk the possibility of the perfect combination of an irresponsible person being behind the wheel of a car, I would say don't ever leave your house.
Lastly and most importantly, this is the US where we allegedly live in a free society. That should mean the right to decide if you want to drink alcohol or not. Not the government deciding for you....remember, we tried that before.
Similar threads
- Locked
