They also talk about Chuck Norris in World of Warcraft in the Barrens chat lol.
Chuck Norris
- Thread starter Calm
- Start date
Chuck Norris has such power and influence that this thread CAN'T be moved into the "Post Games" forum. LOL! 
:1orglaugh :rofl:
:1orglaugh :rofl: 
Chuck Norris once was a moderator on a board. But users got automatically ****** when he looked at their posts. Now he's the only member there.
:hatsoff: Jackson
:hatsoff: Jackson
This all began with David Hasselhoff... now its Chuck Norris... Rumor has it its going to be Vin Diesel next.
Its spreading on the net like wildfire with Chuck Norris though.
But just to say a few things about what I read already.
1) These are jokes and not insults.
2) Chuck Norris is not an asshole. He does a lot of Charity and he deserves just as much respect as any other hard-working person.
3) Chuck Norris was not a geeky *** who just learned Karate. He is actually a champion and holds the highest black belt degree in Tai Kwan Do. (Fact) He was undeafeated as said middle weight champion.
Onto the jokes!
Trix are for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is what Willis is talking about.
Gary Coleman is the only *** to have survived a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris and he hasn't grown since.
The rest of my repetoir has been posted.
Its spreading on the net like wildfire with Chuck Norris though.
But just to say a few things about what I read already.
1) These are jokes and not insults.
2) Chuck Norris is not an asshole. He does a lot of Charity and he deserves just as much respect as any other hard-working person.
3) Chuck Norris was not a geeky *** who just learned Karate. He is actually a champion and holds the highest black belt degree in Tai Kwan Do. (Fact) He was undeafeated as said middle weight champion.
Onto the jokes!
Trix are for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is what Willis is talking about.
Gary Coleman is the only *** to have survived a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris and he hasn't grown since.
The rest of my repetoir has been posted.
Here are a few more... sorry for the double post. Not sure how long this is gonna take.
There is no theory of evolotion, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
In an average living room there are 1, 242 objects Chuck Norris could use to **** you, including the room itself.
When Chuck Norris goes to donate *****, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand *** and a bucket.
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
There is no theory of evolotion, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
In an average living room there are 1, 242 objects Chuck Norris could use to **** you, including the room itself.
When Chuck Norris goes to donate *****, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand *** and a bucket.
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
Chuck Norris once went into a casino. He went up to the roulette table and said, "I bet it all on Chuck Norris". The wheel stopped and the person there said, "Well I am sorry sir bu.......". When Chuck Norris reached over and grabbed him by the collar and repeated, "I said I bet it on Chuck Norris". By the end the night, when he had walked out, the casino was bankrupt and people heard him saying, "You always bet on Chuck Norris".
During last years superbowl Chuck Norris sold ad space on his beard for 4 million dollars per 30 seconds. He then ran around the field so everybody could see him. Unfortunately, they cut it out of the television broadcast.
Chuck Norris once ran a couple hundred buffalo off a cliff. When asked why he did that, he stated that he was out of glue and he needed to boil one or two of them down so he could complete a small model car he was working on.
(Seriously I have nothing against the Chuck, even he would laugh is ass of at this)
During last years superbowl Chuck Norris sold ad space on his beard for 4 million dollars per 30 seconds. He then ran around the field so everybody could see him. Unfortunately, they cut it out of the television broadcast.
Chuck Norris once ran a couple hundred buffalo off a cliff. When asked why he did that, he stated that he was out of glue and he needed to boil one or two of them down so he could complete a small model car he was working on.
(Seriously I have nothing against the Chuck, even he would laugh is ass of at this)
Last edited:
Chuck Norris endorses creating a javelin catching event at the Olympics.
Chuck Norris can fight city hall.
A tightened fist of Chuck Norris is the only known thing outside of an interstellar body that can sustain perpetual nuclear fusion.
Information has recently come about that suggest the stories about Paul Bunyun are really dumbed down version of stories that were told about Chuck Norris and his dog Ralf during some of his early years.
Chuck Norris invented the internet.
Once, Chuck Norris shot a man in Reno………….just to watch him die.
When Chuck Norris goes surfing, he doesn't use a surfboard, he hops on top of a shark and makes it go along for the ride.
No, Chuck Norris is Spartacus.
The true winner of the battle between King Kong and Godzilla was Chuck Norris. He was a late addition to the cast and ended up ******* both of them with a series of astonishing roundhouse kicks. He was also heard saying that Godzilla's radioactive breath tickled a little. After downing the two monsters, he hurried to Tokyo and proceeded to destroy the city. He said he didn't feel right about ******* Godzilla before he had a chance to do it. The producers were so dismayed that they redid the whole movie without him in it, so all the fans wouldn't die of grief after watching what Chuck did to their beloved characters. However, this time they had to use actors in costumes.
Chuck Norris can fight city hall.
A tightened fist of Chuck Norris is the only known thing outside of an interstellar body that can sustain perpetual nuclear fusion.
Information has recently come about that suggest the stories about Paul Bunyun are really dumbed down version of stories that were told about Chuck Norris and his dog Ralf during some of his early years.
Chuck Norris invented the internet.
Once, Chuck Norris shot a man in Reno………….just to watch him die.
When Chuck Norris goes surfing, he doesn't use a surfboard, he hops on top of a shark and makes it go along for the ride.
No, Chuck Norris is Spartacus.
The true winner of the battle between King Kong and Godzilla was Chuck Norris. He was a late addition to the cast and ended up ******* both of them with a series of astonishing roundhouse kicks. He was also heard saying that Godzilla's radioactive breath tickled a little. After downing the two monsters, he hurried to Tokyo and proceeded to destroy the city. He said he didn't feel right about ******* Godzilla before he had a chance to do it. The producers were so dismayed that they redid the whole movie without him in it, so all the fans wouldn't die of grief after watching what Chuck did to their beloved characters. However, this time they had to use actors in costumes.
About 2006 years ago, some self-proclaimed "prophet and *** of God" named Jesus was running around (what we now call the "Middle East") talking smack about Heaven, God, love, and forgiveness. He was doing fancy magic tricks, was later crucified by the Romans at the insistence of his fellow Jews, and he said he was dying for all of our sins so we could get into Heaven...
Jesus was, however, a bit late and a phony - Chuck Norris was crucified before Jesus and Chuck rose from the dead - not in 3 days, but in 3 seconds - and is the real *** of God, did die for our sins, is without sin himself, and through Him we can all have eternal life in Heaven.
When Chuck Norris is ready for each of us to leave this mortal, Earthly life, He will give us a lethal spinning back-kick to the head and transport us to Heaven for all eternity - but only if we've "been saved" and asked Chuck Norris to forgive our sins and be our own personal Lord & Saviour while we were on Earth. If not, we go to Hell where spammers and n00bs are running the show. :ban:
(I'm totally going to go to Hell for this post. LOL!) :1orglaugh :eek:
Jesus was, however, a bit late and a phony - Chuck Norris was crucified before Jesus and Chuck rose from the dead - not in 3 days, but in 3 seconds - and is the real *** of God, did die for our sins, is without sin himself, and through Him we can all have eternal life in Heaven.
When Chuck Norris is ready for each of us to leave this mortal, Earthly life, He will give us a lethal spinning back-kick to the head and transport us to Heaven for all eternity - but only if we've "been saved" and asked Chuck Norris to forgive our sins and be our own personal Lord & Saviour while we were on Earth. If not, we go to Hell where spammers and n00bs are running the show. :ban:
(I'm totally going to go to Hell for this post. LOL!) :1orglaugh :eek:
Last edited:
Goblin said:
David Hasselhoff and Vin Diesel can't hold a candle next to Chuck Norris. Not where this is concerned. There is just something that is naturally comical about him I can't put my finger on. Even on shows where he was being serious, he will go and do something, end up roundhouse kicking somebody, and I will end up lmao.
Chuck Norris' beard hairs are individually attached inside his head to his central nervous system! Thats what powers the sun!!
Similar threads
