... uhm, dated? hell, I MARRIED someone... it took 20 years to realize how much I was managing not to look at.
I have to admit there were 'red flags.' At the ripe age of 40 her aunt sent my wife's father & the other siblings a LONG letter detailing the many ways they had hurt her throughout her childhood, ruining her life. Gotta love people who are so gone they can blame others even for how they have felt for decades.
When she left me (yes, I was still firmly in DeNiAl), her reasons included I was controlling... So she chose to leave the house she'd selected... and decorated... and furnished, taking every household item she wanted, the cars she had chosen, working as a fitness instructor instead of a hygienist since she chose the new 'more fun' profession in the last year (despite a huge drop in pay). Needless to say, she had been the determining voice in where we went on vacation, who we hung out with, what we ate, & yes, when (if) we had sex... & when we were 'done' having sex (read when SHE was done). I was left with acquaintences but no real friends since hanging out with the guys had been forbidden out of misplaced jealousy. But I was the controlling one?
Still don't believe me? Try this on... our oldest 'discovered the joys of the bud' this year, and is failing 2 classes. At 16, we had found him a sporty front wheel drive car (Eclipse, 99... 2 years newer then my truck) as his 1st car... HIS choice. But since 'friends' have faster car he 'HAS' to have a corvette... Uhm, No. In fact, Hell No. While agreeing in person, on the phone, and on text that even discussing such until he could demonstrate better motivation and attitude, she is out shopping for a corvette 'to share with him.' When confronted with the obvious and poor lies, her 'explanation'? I had agreed to let the kids go through a motorcycle safety course, and a corvette is safer then a motorcycle... And this is called parenting?
WTF?!? No wonder FreeOnes is my escape... beutiful women who are obviously interested in sex. Someday the boys will move on and I can pursue actually FINDING such a woman... In the meantime, it's AMAZING how much I find I enjoy having a choice in almost everything I do; I guess maybe I was crazy, too, putting up with the crap I did for so long...