Anxiety while driving

[juryduty]

So despite being a fully fledged adult I do not have a drivers license. Mostly I haven't needed it and when I have, I haven't been able to afford the lessons. Now I can and am taking driving lessons. I've already passed my theory with flying colours.

Problem is, while driving with my instructor, I spend most of the lesson on the verge of shitting myself. I sweat so bad it's not even funny. I've always been afraid of driving and now I'm forcing myself to, 3 times a week. It's strange because every other fear I've ever had I've overcome. The thing holding me back is, while driving I am extremely anxious which makes it hard for me to focus on the driving which in turn means I make mistakes which keeps me anxious...

Is there anything one can take which will enable them to calm down while doing scary things yet stay alert and receptive? I figure if I could break the cycle of fear I'd be able to learn to drive a lot faster and ultimately get over my fear of driving.

 

[vanlee1]

You should visit your primary care doctor or a local clinic and describe your anxiety as you have here.

The treatments could rage from psychological techniques (ie. behavioral conditioning) to medication (ie. beta blockers).

Best wishes and hope it works out well for you.

 

[HappyHapyJoyJoy]

The majority of anxiety medications work by reducing brain activity which means common side effects include: drowsiness, slowed reflexes, confusion and disorientation, depression, light-headedness and blurred or double vision. And of course mind-numbing fear isn't likely to do you a world of good either. So I guess what I'm saying is that you should probably do everyone a favor and avoid getting your license unless you work through your fear without medication. There's already plenty of dangerous drivers roaring around at 15-85mph in a few tonnes of death... do you really want to add to that problem?

Public transit, you should maybe embrace it.

 

[Harpsman]

Public transit, you should maybe embrace it.

Correcto! :laugh:

I hate driving.

 

[juryduty]

The majority of anxiety medications work by reducing brain activity which means common side effects include: drowsiness, slowed reflexes, confusion and disorientation, depression, light-headedness and blurred or double vision. And of course mind-numbing fear isn't likely to do you a world of good either. So I guess what I'm saying is that you should probably do everyone a favor and avoid getting your license unless you work through your fear without medication. There's already plenty of dangerous drivers roaring around at 15-85mph in a few tonnes of death... do you really want to add to that problem?

Public transit, you should maybe embrace it.

I am the last person who would ever go speeding. If anything, I'd drive to slow. Moreover, I don't know much I'd actually drive with it. I need a license in order to get work. I like to travel but many jobs that have nothing to do with driving still demand the applicant has a drivers license. It's a growing trend in Europe. Plus, in some situations it'd be nice to be able to have that independence. Public transport isn't always an option. Finally, I plan to get a small motorcycle. If I have a drivers license I'd automatically be allowed to drive one of those as long as it's not too powerful (I could explain in more detail but I fear I'd bore people).

 

[Jagger69]

It's a self-fulfilling prophecy that mistakes will occur if you are overly nervous and concerned about them while driving (or doing anything else for that matter). Use visualization techniques where you picture yourself doing everything in the correct fashion before taking the wheel. Use a relaxed grip on the wheel....don't grip it too tightly. Concentrate on the here and now instead of worrying about "what if" and use deep breathing techniques to slow down your heartbeat, lower you blood pressure and relieve tension.

I used these methods when I first took flying lessons many years ago. I too was nervous when working with my instructor and being able to control my emotions and visualizing myself doing things correctly while focusing on the here and now made a huge difference in my ability to cope with the stress and stay in control. When I found myself getting worked up, the deep breathing helped me to regain control and stay within myself. It's tough but work on it and you'll be fine. A few successes tend to breed confidence quickly. Good luck!

 

[bobjustbob]

I wouldn't take anything before getting behind the wheel. It's just going to take time to become comfortable. Get the feel of the car. It won't do anything you don't tell it to do. There is no rush to get out onto the road. You will get there when you know you are ready.

 

[Straight Shooter]

I can somewhat relate to your problem. I didn't get my license until I was 21 and one of the main reasons why was because I was a little nervous about getting behind the wheel all by myself. At the beginning I was still nervous when I got behind the wheel but over time I've gotten more relaxed as I drive more and more. The only way you're going to get over the anxiety is by driving. Just take your time and I guarantee that you'll become more comfortable as you drive more

 

[bobjustbob]

Funny that you mentioned the motorcycle. Have you experience with one? In NJ a motorcycle license is not automatic with an auto license. It is a separate test written and road tested that gets added to our motor vehicle license.

Where is the instructor teaching you to drive? Is it on city streets, rural roads, an empty parking lot, a course with cones? This could make a difference with your comfort and learning progress. I never had an instructor. Family taught me. Kind of a forced thing. We lived in a rural area and it was much convenient to get our licenses early so others didn't have to do as much driving. They started me at 14. Had to wait till 16 to take the written test for a learner's permit. For me that was the hard part since it was book study. The day after I got the permit I scheduled my road test and passed. The whole process took about a month.

My parents were so relieved to just toss me the keys to run their errands. Go to the store. Go pick your sister up. Load up the truck and take the garbage to the dump. Got a job and having my own car in high school made me feel like King Shit.

Look at the end of the road JD. Hop into that car or jump onto that bike to do whatever the fuck you want. That's all the drug you need.

 

[Philbert]

I am the last person who would ever go speeding. If anything, I'd drive to slow. Moreover, I don't know much I'd actually drive with it. I need a license in order to get work. I like to travel but many jobs that have nothing to do with driving still demand the applicant has a drivers license. It's a growing trend in Europe. Plus, in some situations it'd be nice to be able to have that independence. Public transport isn't always an option. Finally, I plan to get a small motorcycle. If I have a drivers license I'd automatically be allowed to drive one of those as long as it's not too powerful (I could explain in more detail but I fear I'd bore people).

Too late...

Take the "no drive" solution...not only is it not possible for you to actually grow some balls at this stage of your adult life, but it's probably a good idea for you to get a small mc, as to get the mangled pile of twisted metal thing over asap.

I snuck out of the house late at night and took the family cars for a drive a few times before I was 15 just 'cause I couldn't wait to drive...
If kitty cats terrified me I wouldn't ever have a cat...this is a classic case of WTF...fear of driving (Grannies and goofy teens seem to do it easily enough) is so irrational; there is a definite disconnect here between reality and perceived terrifying fantasy.
Stay home, get a push scooter and some new shoes.

 

[sean miguel]

I'm sorry, I can't relate. Like Philbert, I couldn't wait to drive and my problem was I didn't have enough fear (I have the driving record, the collision repairs and my parents' early gray hairs to attest). Years later I've gone from reckless to fast but in control (why can't we have an autobahn in the states?) When I get in my car I'm one with the machine (I know, that's corny.)

Just keep at it and see if it gets better. But like you said, maybe public transportation or a scooter would be a better option, and I don't mean that disparagingly - better that than to be a danger to yourself and others on the road.

 

[Chopper3000]

A couple of cans of Stella Artois you'll be fine driving.

 

[horn_dog]

Adaptogens might be of small help. Help me to relax and focus. Holy basil, Ashwagandha, Gotukola etc.

 

[Rey C.]

IMO, the more you can do something (that makes you anxious) in a less stressful setting, the more you'll be able to cope with it and maybe even master your anxiety. Try driving for extended periods of time in areas that don't have much traffic - mall parking lots are good places to practice. Then work your way into areas that have greater amounts of traffic.

 

[Will E Worm]

 

[juryduty]

Funny that you mentioned the motorcycle. Have you experience with one? In NJ a motorcycle license is not automatic with an auto license. It is a separate test written and road tested that gets added to our motor vehicle license.

Where is the instructor teaching you to drive? Is it on city streets, rural roads, an empty parking lot, a course with cones? This could make a difference with your comfort and learning progress. I never had an instructor. Family taught me. Kind of a forced thing. We lived in a rural area and it was much convenient to get our licenses early so others didn't have to do as much driving. They started me at 14. Had to wait till 16 to take the written test for a learner's permit. For me that was the hard part since it was book study. The day after I got the permit I scheduled my road test and passed. The whole process took about a month.

My parents were so relieved to just toss me the keys to run their errands. Go to the store. Go pick your sister up. Load up the truck and take the garbage to the dump. Got a job and having my own car in high school made me feel like King Shit.

Look at the end of the road JD. Hop into that car or jump onto that bike to do whatever the fuck you want. That's all the drug you need.

I have ridden on quad-bikes and a scooter, but not very often and not for like 15 years. I could do it alright though. I have a LOOOOOOOOT of experience cycling on very busy cities so I figure if I can do that, I can ride a Vespa.

I did some driving lessons years ago in the crazy streets of Tel Aviv where nobody follows the rules. I'm now learning to drive in fast country roads and busy town roads in the UK. I drive as fast as 60 miles per hour at times on steep bendy streets. It scares the shit out of me since there is a lot of traffic and we're on steep hills.

 

[juryduty]

Too late...

Take the "no drive" solution...not only is it not possible for you to actually grow some balls at this stage of your adult life, but it's probably a good idea for you to get a small mc, as to get the mangled pile of twisted metal thing over asap.

I snuck out of the house late at night and took the family cars for a drive a few times before I was 15 just 'cause I couldn't wait to drive...
If kitty cats terrified me I wouldn't ever have a cat...this is a classic case of WTF...fear of driving (Grannies and goofy teens seem to do it easily enough) is so irrational; there is a definite disconnect here between reality and perceived terrifying fantasy.
Stay home, get a push scooter and some new shoes.

So you are saying that you never do things that scare you because it would be too difficult? Well that makes you quite the coward then doesn't it. I was terrified by dogs when when fucked me up so bad I needed to remain hospitalized for a few weeks. 4 years later I was working with dogs. I always take on the things that scare me, even if I hate it. That's definition of bravery. Not only doing things that you're comfortable with.

As for it being irrational. I'm very aware that phobias are irrational. Thank you for your none constructive post. Please continue being troll.

 

[juryduty]

IMO, the more you can do something (that makes you anxious) in a less stressful setting, the more you'll be able to cope with it and maybe even master your anxiety. Try driving for extended periods of time in areas that don't have much traffic - mall parking lots are good places to practice. Then work your way into areas that have greater amounts of traffic.

Yep, that's what I'm doing now.

 

[Philbert]

So you are saying that you never do things that scare you because it would be too difficult? Well that makes you quite the coward then doesn't it. I was terrified by dogs when when fucked me up so bad I needed to remain hospitalized for a few weeks. 4 years later I was working with dogs. I always take on the things that scare me, even if I hate it. That's definition of bravery. Not only doing things that you're comfortable with.

As for it being irrational. I'm very aware that phobias are irrational. Thank you for your none constructive post. Please continue being troll.

So...let's see...if someone does thrill seeking stuff they must be abject cowards since they don't pee their pants, sweat uncontrollably, and crawl under their beds and cry ...like you tend to do. You are claiming you're a brave guy, unlike those who do stuff without all the drama (4 years to work up the courage to pet some poodles).


COWARDS

COWARDS



Brave ~Mr.Dooty

Good thing you're riding ready...!

You can never tell when one of these evil puppies will attack unprovoked! !


:rofl2:

 

[juryduty]

So...let's see...if someone does thrill seeking stuff they must be abject cowards since they don't pee their pants, sweat uncontrollably, and crawl under their beds and cry ...like you tend to do. You are claiming you're a brave guy, unlike those who do stuff without all the drama (4 years to work up the courage to pet some poodles).


COWARDS

COWARDS



Brave ~Mr.Dooty

Good thing you're riding ready...!

You can never tell when one of these evil puppies will attack unprovoked! !


:rofl2:

The effort you put into trolling is quite incredible. You also failed to read my post properly thus making your reply rather pointless. You specified that you'd not do things that frightened you. I said that bravery does not come from doing doing things that don't phase you, but by being afraid and doing them anyway. Replace poodle with Mastiff.

I think that if this continues I'll just reply to every post you make on my threads with a picture of my dick. Whatever you're saying, that picture will most likely invalidate it.