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Carolina played like a bunch of penises. That game was an abortion. Don't be fooled by the final score. It wasn't really that close.

It is not enough to simply dress up as a slutty banana. I must become a slutty banana.

Jeopardy answer: This rhyme plays on racist stereotypes of Chinese people as sneaky or untrustworthy, and suggests that they might contaminate someone's **** with ***** as a prank.

Waving your penis up and down while making elephant noises is not helpful in most situations.

Waving your penis up and down while making elephant noises is not helpful in most situations.

That could actually be an interesting historical topic. You would learn about dialects and etymology. Obviously I would rather watch porn but I can think of worse topics at a dinner.

Fun topic for ****** dinner: Lesser known racial and ethnic slurs.

While it might be fun to imagine yourself in the place of the actor who got to grope Janet Montgomery onscreen, it's important to recognize that these scenes are staged and choreographed, and don't necessarily reflect the actors' real-life feelings or experiences.

Some women might feel less threatened by their husband having an affair with a man, as they may not see it as a direct competition for their affections. Others might feel even more threatened, as they may perceive it as a sign of deeper dissatisfaction with their relationship.

This has not been funny at all. Imagine all of us having dinner at a nice Italian restaurant in Soho and everyone is getting uncomfortable with my maudlin antics. What will The Yak do next? Tune in tonight to find out.

I would have my left foot amputated if it would mean I could imbibe🍸 like I was able to at 25. And not just physically. You have wipe away the bad stuff so I will be happy to be ********. This is "beneficial in my life" instead of "I am giving up and will do this until it ***** me".

I received an Emergency Alert to my cellphone about a manhunt in Georgia. I am in North Carolina. Seems silly.

As an icebreaker, I have been known to tell people that I am a 3x NFL Defensive Player of the Year.

Everybody, everywhere is just some dickhead on the internet.

It's like a mental version of getting kicked in the penis - a painful reminder of the things we were trying to avoid in the first place.

I enjoy films with sexual and scatological humor.

To be honest, I'm not aware of any widespread trend or increase in women kicking men in the penis. It's certainly not a behavior that's widely accepted or encouraged, and I'd be surprised if there was any reliable data to suggest that it's becoming more common. That being said, there are always...

The appeal of substance ***** is to to remove something from my moment to moment awareness. When sober, life is dealing with certain unpleasant realities. When ***********, those features are removed from existence. It is this repeated reawakening to unpleasant reality as substance wears off...

If I'm ever invisible: stand near the teller line at a Bank and wait for a customer to come in and say "Can you check my balance?" at which point I will shove them off their feet. I will then reappear and say "You failed".

I was writing something and decided it was not very good so I won't be posting it. Didn't want to waste people's time.

https://apnews.com/article/charlie-kirk-conservative-activist-shot-546165a8151104e0938a5e085be1e8bd He's dead.

Carolina played like a bunch of penises. That game was an abortion.

I have forgotten everything about my job. This is gonna be weird.

My fuck-stick!!

Oh my goodness, [The Yak], that sounds like quite the miscommunication mishap! 📱😳 It's definitely a cringe-worthy situation to accidentally send a sensitive and personal message to the wrong number, especially when it's something as intimate as an angry text about your penis. But as you say...

It was such a loss to us that Erica Campbell never did hardcore. The same cannot be said about Gianna. She went there.

Leigh Darby

I have good material in that other thread in the Talk section also. Don't miss it. None of this will be preserved.

Can you say ********** here?

I sent an angry text about my penis to a wrong number but I didn't know it was a wrong number. Their responses were reasonable with who I thought I was texting and it was only after several messages back and forth that we realized our error. That was embarrassing. Embarrassing enough that I...

Much of what I say, do and believe is really stupid if you think about it.

I am going to launch a standalone app.

Everyone knows I'm on ***** right? Not just you people reading I mean those around me on this airplane?

I'm not as happy with the previous post. It's starts high brow with the ridiculous notion that such a scenario should be considered and then ends with lazy blue humor and misogyny.

I have devoted considerable thought to what I would do if I had to kick a person while they are peeing in order to avoid some dire consequence. I would go to a mall and target men in their late 50s. At that age, they should stout enough not to sustain injury but also be, on average, at a...

I guess less is more when dealing with THC. If I take too much, it just puts me to *****. If I get the dosage right, then I am more inspired to write my bullshit here for the enjoyment of others.

Back when the little known WGN series "Salem" was airing, I recall being particularly attracted to lead actress Janet Montgomery (with whom I share an exact birthday). I often experienced maladaptive daydreams about having sexual intercourse with her. There is a season 3 episode in which her...

I had posted a picture of eggs that looked like breasts in the .... thread. Now there is a similar picture here. I also recall posting a picture of a pastry roll that looked like a vagina. Those were good times.

It has been 207 days since a meaningful NFL football game was played. Today, the long national nightmare known as the "Offseason" comes to an end. NFL football is back.

Calligraphy isn't really a sport. It's more of a craft.

"NO YELLING ON THE BUS!!!!"

You don't think I could afford a $1,500 jacket?

My Kindle is now advertising laxatives to me. Obviously, Amazon knows my age but it still feels a little hostile.

I'm high again. That's nice. I had something about hidden cameras in women's dressing rooms but I seem to have forgotten.

I blew my nose in the garage and it made these two pigeons ****** each other.

I saw a shooting star and wished that a former supervisor would get a painful rash on his scrotum.

Untreated mental illness has had a significant impact on my life.