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I always gotta have a ratio of 2 strips of bacon per egg also.

I was too lazy to go to the store but miraculously found some eggs in the icebox and some bread for toasting on a table. Sure was good. Don’t forget the salt & pepper.

Do any of you still think it’s supposed to be said that way? Pretty silly if you do because you’re too old. Vincent Price was the Mack ***** of Macabre. Saying that the wrong way sounds more betterer.

I've started using my iPhone more for games. I have been playing the 1942 and 1945 shooter games as well as a bunch of racing games such as Grid, Rush Rally 3, Rush Rally Origins, F1 Mobile, Need For Speed: No Limits, Gear Club, Horizon Chase, and Riptide 2. I was also looking at a lot of...

wrong thread

Evil ahole Ted Turner doing Tomahawk Chop, evil ahole Jane Fonda wielding a Nerf Tomahawk, and evil ahole Jimmy Carter throwing up the Black Power sign.

I think they’re OK but if you hand me a full can of mixed nuts I will hand back a third of a can of almonds.

https://getpocket.com/explore/item/21-strange-and-ingenious-uses-for-wd40?utm_source=pocket-newtab I thought of a 22nd use.

Exactamundo! The lady should be blowing the fella who’s driving the truck. I think it even mentions that in the Owners Manual.

My wife conducts a photoshoot taking endless pictures of our food when we go out to restaurants until I tell her to stop. She has all the pictures of me in a lobster bib. She also thinks they’re super cute.

I like women just fine Yes to Number B 'Cuz it looks ridiculous

I saw a lady drive a truck once. It was a Persian lady and she rented a White F150. I saw her approaching her driveway and guided her in. Had to help with the Christmas Tree too. She looked ridiculous and I told her to get back into her Maserati.

I never was a fan of Paul Reiser. Still remember seeing Aliens in the theater and we all cheered when Reiser got what he deserved.

Ladies should be riding in a pick-up truck, not driving a pick-up truck. They should be sitting next to their man impressed with his truck and driving skills thinking of a way she can show appreciation in a more sexual manner.

I've never seen or had interest in seeing even a single episode of Seinfeld, Friends, Cheers, Mad About You, Frasier, MASH, and many other sitcoms.

I guess I'll stick with GMC.

Can I have it then please? I'd scrape a hobo's toenail clippings off and eat it. It's lobster.

I bet that happens once in awhile. Somebody drops their expensive lobster, thinking, "Oh heck, now what?", then they realize they can get the waiter to do a re-do so the expensive lobster is not ******.

Thankfully they don’t sell lobster at Long John Silver’s. I would also say no to the floor at Red Lobster in Inglewood but yes to the floor at The Lobster in Santa Monica.

If you went to a restaurant and ordered Lobster but the lobster squirted out and fell on the ground would you pick it up and still eat it? It's lobster.

Massively Uber-Technical Death Metal from Deutschland. Donkey Change.

Fat girls with pleasant faces are good enough for a poke.

New Gojira. Muy bueno from the France...

I don’t follow the NBA but what’s all the hullabaloo about this Kylie Irving? I hear there was quite a ruckus outside the arena. Seemed like a big news story.

Sounds like a mission for John Rambo. Let the ******* and butchery begin.

Good idea. And who does Donald Trump “accidentally” shoot? You guessed it… Liz Cheney.

Is SNL gonna have Alec Baldwin on this week to perform a zany skit re-enacting shooting and ******* a guy by accident? https://www.yahoo.com/gma/2-crew-members-hospitalized-prop-232251393.html

They should show up dressed like Catholic Nuns next time. They’d be covered up like they were asked to.

I worked enough night club security that I really started to enjoy suffering fools finding fools more amusing than the more non-foolish types. I stopped taking people seriously, especially in certain venues, a long time ago. It's good you are as finicky and persnickety about the cleanliness of...

Steve can barely tolerate assari as a member. Imagine how his hemorrhoids with be ripened, inflamed, and kickin' up a storm if assari attained the grand position of moderator.

We had a Dick Armey who could cover and annihilate an enemy merely with his semen.

Fans of Black Sabbath and Candlemass rejoice and enjoy this very Melodic Wall Of Doom from Sweden.

Assari wins every time he gets people to show up with their pitchforks and torches trying to storm his majestic Finnish castle.

Blue Countach AKA Jack Davenport is a Cotdam American Treasure. I miss that fella.

If you ever dated a gal who became a porn star thank your lucky stars you didn’t marry her.

Nuckin' Futs

I’m sure a few sluts I’ve done the sex to have also turned tricks moonlighting as whores.

I imagine it varies depending on the person’s ability to metabolize a certain amount of pornography. Process in, process out is still the golden rule. You may also calibrate the droplets of perspiration that either fall or cascade down the pervert’s forehead to gauge his level of interest to...