But how do I know I'm getting quality? When it's advertised as a "Good glass of squirt" then there are going to be certain expectations put upon the aforementioned glass and its contents.
Will it be fresh? I certainly hope so freshly squeezed from the lady in question would be exquisite. If it's not directly from the source how long has the squirt been parted from its host? We all know the longer the squirt has been out of its natural surroundings the more its new environment affects its quality and flavour. So I say to you, I do not want to find out that this "Good glass of squirt" has been hiding in the back of your Cousin Jeremy's fridge for 6 weeks becoming diffused with the flavours of the fridge as the days pass by.
So, you’ve heard my demands and if they cannot be met and it pains me to say this but I will respectfully have to decline your “Good glass of squirt”.
Good day to you.