Why Do People Cheat?
- Thread starter AFA
- Start date
Interesting article. I suspect maybe they are going a little too deep with this though. The only times I've cheated or thought of cheating, it was driven by lust. But it stays as a sexual fantasy more than anything else nowadays, because my relationship with my fiancee is stable in every aspect. The only way I could see cheating happen now is if an attractive girl just jumped on top of me causing me to be consumed with lust.:dunno:
If Dr. Laura Berman was my woman, I'd cheat too.
She looks like the type that rode through med school on her professor's cock!
squallumz
knows petras secret: she farted.
and its exciting!
Sometimes people want the security of a long term relationship, but the excitement of a new romance. Generally that's considered the ass backward way of doing things. That people need to be secure in themselves and their lives as individuals before they make good choices for a compatible partner. Otherwise cheating tends to just fill a more or less unfillable void. It's thought the ********* fear of loneliness drives too many bad adult relationships.
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I'd have to disagree with that article. From what I've experienced, it often has nothing to do with whether they have a need to be appreciated or because of revenge or something. It's just because they can. Many simply don't consider it a terrible act when they are the ones behind it, and they'd happily put their own pleasure and enjoyment ahead of possible hurt feelings of their partner.
People also feel that when they feel elation with an outside partner, that somehow the long term partner will also be happy for them, and there is a strong desire to express it to the long term mate. Pure fantasy.
But after an aux relationship fails, (extremely high probabability anyway), there is again a strong desire to express it to the long term mate to free themselves of the guilt they feel afterward, which does nothing more than cause pain for the mate, not the cheater.
In both cases the desire to express it to the mate is very selfish and childish. And if people are selfish and childish, they can't have emotionally stable intimate adult relationships anyway.
But after an aux relationship fails, (extremely high probabability anyway), there is again a strong desire to express it to the long term mate to free themselves of the guilt they feel afterward, which does nothing more than cause pain for the mate, not the cheater.
In both cases the desire to express it to the mate is very selfish and childish. And if people are selfish and childish, they can't have emotionally stable intimate adult relationships anyway.
Because people are so emotionally needy they can't be alone, or can't tolerate themselves as they are. They may have an ideal self image, that is not their real self image. So the needs outweigh the sensibility in needing someone to give them gratification either by respecting them, and / or submitting to them, a person of value. Since the original mate, (in the same situation), probably isn't fulfulling their needs any more, they may be of no value. While their real self can't become it's ideal self, without an ideal mate. Outside recharging is probably sought, as a desire for an ideal partner to compliment the ideal view they hope to have of themselves.
Similiarly, there was a cartoon in Road and Track magazine some time ago. Cars drove through a gate under a sign that said, "You View You". People in desirable cars paid a fee to drive past a long mirror reflecting their image back of what they looked like driving those fancy cars. All for the temporary gratification of seeing what they looked like when related to that particular ego boosting asset. Without it, they would have to deal with themselves, and that is near impossible for a great many people.
Similiarly, there was a cartoon in Road and Track magazine some time ago. Cars drove through a gate under a sign that said, "You View You". People in desirable cars paid a fee to drive past a long mirror reflecting their image back of what they looked like driving those fancy cars. All for the temporary gratification of seeing what they looked like when related to that particular ego boosting asset. Without it, they would have to deal with themselves, and that is near impossible for a great many people.
ChefChiTown
The secret ingredient? MY BALLS
People cheat because they're selfish, bottom line.
i disagree. this is my :2 cents:
men cheat because they cant control their dicks. women cheat because they dont feel loved or appreciated.
not in this day and age.
so many reasons: insecurity, lack of monies, breakdown in trust, problems with one's sexuality and/or security, vindictiveness, lack of commitment, getting into a wrong relationship too early (with hindsight), problems at work, office/work relationships, maybe even boredom (in the bedroom but also in general). not nice to go through...
I agree. When you really think about it's not worth the hassle and what are you really accomplishing.:dunno:
