i have a few. if my wife rings me then i have darth vader saying ' i must obey my master'. for general phone calls i have 'get back you bastards, i'll break your legs' from max's car alarm in pheonix nights. for text messages its mel b from bo' selecta saying 'she such a minge teasing bastard, she is ya know. she's a minge teasing bastard'.
might not mean anything to anyone outside the uk.
I have different ringtones for different people calling , On Call for chicks , Shoot the Runner for mates , Wish You Were Here for family & Sally Cinnamon for everyone else