What is the latest good film you watched ?

Electric Boogaloo: The Wild Untold Story Of Cannon Films. The title of that documentary is a bit obsolete, at least going by the fact mentioned at the very end of this, that the Menahem Golan/Yoram Globus led documentary, beat this film by 3 months in release. They declined to appear on here, and I think that's for the best.

I'm learning that these foreign filmmakers, when they try to break it in America, their viewpoints come off as...odd. Language barriers, cultural differences, and when they're interviewed, it's hard to understand their perspective. Like the Troll 2 documentary, Best Worst Movie, the Italian director came off as very stubborn, took Troll 2 very seriously. Always on the defensive too, another example is Tommy Wiseau, although a bit different because he also plays it like the movie's unintentional comedy, was intentional.

In a way, bias was cut out of this documentary, and everyone here were pretty fair. Except maybe one, but I understand the bitterness. I'm new in the recognition of movie companies. I know the big ones that distribute, Warner Bros, Paramount, Universal. It's the smaller ones I'm just finding out about, but some of them had their hand on a lot of films. Cannon Films is one of those, I didn't know they produced Over The Top, or Missing In Action, Bloodsport, Kickboxer, Cyborg! They pretty much launched Jean Claude Van Damme's career, revitalized Chuck Norris and Charles Bronson, and their influence in films is still felt today.

Learning all this is awesome, I didn't even know the owners of it during their heyday (1979-89) were Israeli. It made sense on the films they made. Foreigners with their values and believes, trying to go America, it always results in interesting stuff, so to speak.

The focus was definitely on Golan and Globus, the cousins. Golan was directing films, and he came in with his cousin to buy Cannon in 1979. Golan was the filmmaker, Globus was the businessman. All the interviews covered the careers they revitalized, started, whether it be actors or directors. Some veteran directors like John Cassavetes even got a shot by Golan and Globus. Everyone offered great info, but I'm partial to [NOBABE]Sybil Danning.[/NOBABE] She didn't give out the most info, her work in relation to the documentary is Operation Thunderbolt, directed by Golan before the Cannon takeover, and Hercules in 1983. I'm partial because she looked amazing. So hot and mature, but she knew what she was talking about. No slagging off the guys.

Almost everyone else had their negative points, but nothing too bad, and it's criticism. Not mean-spirited. The closest to that though is the MGM president at the time of their distribution deal with Cannon. He basically called the films Cannon got through them, garbage. Not too kind, but MGM had to deal with Bolero. That was the movie that killed the partnership, and I can see why. Hollywood wouldn't touch a film like that, but I would, and did. The plot is stupid, the dialogue is bad and comical, but [NOBABE]Bo Derek[/NOBABE] being nude, yes! Oh she looked great, but compared to a recent interview, I like her look in that. She had no makeup and clearly showed that she aged really well. On the documentary, looks fantastic still, but the makeup's there. Anyways, back on topic, there's just so much content on here that it felt like a 2 1/2 hour movie. It was only 1 hour and 49 minutes, but damn. They covered as much ground as possible, laid it all out there. The only things they didn't cover was Bloodsport and Kickboxer, also the failed Spider-Man movie. They didn't mention that JCVD had a cameo in their Breakin' film. Albert Pyun, director of Cyborg, chimed in on how JCVD got the lead in that film. Pyun wanted Chuck Norris, but JCVD got the job when he did a spin kick, one of his 3 moves, at Golan. Only a 1/4 inch from his face, and Golan was impressed enough that he got the job the next day. That's better than the casting couch.

Breakin got a good deal of love, it basically was their most successful movie, but every good thing Cannon did, they did something negative. A sequel, so quick after the first movie. Lucinda Dickey appears, kind of like a Cannon girl as she's been in a couple of their flicks. I became a fan through the documentary, I don't think I ever saw a film of hers, but now I do. She was in the Breakin films, and apparently did not get on with Shabba Doo and Boogaloo Shrimp. They were breakdancers, she was a gymnast, so yeah. It's hilarious how Shabba Doo was so grand in describing Breakin'. It's this grand movie that joined cultures, it popularized hiphop, this and that. I'm surprised Michael Dudikoff didn't refer to himself in the third person. He was a Cannon golden boy that appeared on this. Unfortunately big names like Norris, JCVD, Stallone, didn't appear here. Still, they got plenty enough.

The documentary serves as a recommend list of movies, because I haven't seen a lot of their stuff. The Last American Virgin, some Chuck Norris films, Lemon Popsicle (the original Virgin, apparently that movie's an American retelling of this), [NOBABE]Mata Hari[/NOBABE], The Wicked Lady, America 3000, all their Ninja films! The list goes on, and to rewatch some as well.

Directors got their cents in. Tobe Hooper, Boaz Davidson, others that worked with Cannon, and writers too. There's also a focus on Michael Winner being an abusive director. He did Death Wish 2 and 3, and his practices were not Union friendly, one of the talking heads said.

Basically the story of Cannon was producing films with a passion, pumping out a shit ton in a short amount of time, low budget stuff. They upped the budget and relied on popular filmmakers like Tobe Hooper to get them some success. They started being too far reaching, signaling their demise as they tried to go big budget, and crashed. Hard. Over The Top, Superman 4, Masters of the Universe, the latter two look lovably cheap, while Over The Top was the case of just wanking too hard. Apparently Sly got paid a shit ton of money, talking heads were throwing out large numbers, it was over 5 million dollars basically. 10, 15, 17, whatever, it was ridiculous. Then they got involved with a man that turned out to be a con artist, as they were strapped for cash. This split Golan and Globus, and that was it. Golan left in 89, Globus stayed on Cannon. The two cousins competed in a movie dealing with the dance style, Lambada. That was hilarious, a race to release their film first, with the same concept, similar plot, even similar titles. Globus had Lambada, Golan had The Forbidden Dance. Or The Forbidden Dance...is Lambada! I just sound out the latter has [NOBABE]Laura Harring[/NOBABE]. I may watch it now.

It plays like an actual movie, because the cousins are basically the heroes. They are odd, Golan definitely, Globus was the more conservative of the two. But I liked them, I was following their story, ups and downs for sure. They strike big with Breakin, they put out great movies, but then things go bad, and you feel sad for them. The documentary ends with the Cannon demise. It's hard to take the tragedy, but then the credits role, a wrapup of the goodness in Golan and Globus, the great things Cannon did, and how their influence is felt today. Avi Lerner mentioned The Expendables, he produced the franchise, and mentioned how Cannon would've loved the movie, even come up with it. The credits are necessary because of the nice things said to wrap it all up. Unfortunately, Menahem Golan passed away in 2014, which is weird when hearing here that Globus got cancer. I haven't seen the opposing documentary, but I think it may be a fluff piece for the guys, and right now that doesn't interest me. There's such thing as too much love, and lionizing.

Fantastic documentary, I'm tempted to watch it again, and it's only been a day since I saw it. That's how good it is.

I want to mention Father's Day. I saw it after Electric Boogaloo. That was fantastic, Troma knows how to pick 'em, as they produced it. Adam Brooks and his group wrote and directed this. Brooks also did a lot of other crew work, and he's the star of the film as the eyepatch wearing Ahab. It must've been a labor of love, the movie looks amazing. I got the same feeling as I did with Hobo With A Shotgun, and it can't be a coincidence that both are Canadian films. Canadian Grindhouse, is that an official genre? Lots of gore, blood, graphic scenes with penises, even eating a dick off! It's crazy, it's hilarious, it's awesome. It looked straightforward, but then it went into otherwordly stuff. Literally, Heaven and Hell. I feel bad though, because I was dozing off during the film. That happens sometimes, I don't give myself enough sleep. It's worse when I go on the bed. That's my fault, nothing to do with the film, you'd think not lying on the bed is easy. I did go back to parts I dozed on, so I caught all the film. Still fantastic. Lloyd Kaufman played God and The Devil, amazing!
 
Lemon Popsicle. After watching Electric Boogaloo, I had the desire to watch this. It's an Israeli teen sex comedy. I was annoyed pretty quickly though with the music. Using overplayed 50s music, such as Tooty Fruity by Little Richard. I mean, it had to be freaking 6 times in this 92 minute movie! Also Mr. Lonely by Bobby Vinton, which actually was used well, but still overused. I thought it was the producers, Menahem Golan and Yoram Globus, and/or even writer/director Boaz Davidson, just loved that music. I then thought, and got the confirmation after watching the movie, that this was set in the 50s. It was really hard to tell, and especially because it's in Israel. If it was America, it'd be easy to tell what time period it was.

Those bits out the way, it was alright. The movie was a case of the smallest roles being the most likable people. Cartman like Johnny (or Huey, or Yudale) and Bracha/Marta. The former is main character Benji's friend, and the latter is someone who got paired with Benji. I don't know why, and it was pointless because Benji doesn't give a shit about her. Rather, Nikky. This is when things go tangled. The story is basically Benji and his friends wanting to get laid. I'm not sure if all of them were virgins, I think Johnny and Benji were, Bobby seemed like a stud in that respect. During all this, Benji is attracted to Nikky, and he asks the woman out. She accepted, and yet when Benji bumps into her, she's dancing with Bobby!

Yet for most of the movie, Benji and Bobby are still friends. I mean I immediately thought the woman is a slut. I am wondering if it's the dubbing. It's pretty funny English, but does it twist the Israeli dialogue? I kind of thought of that, but by the end of the movie, I think no liberties were taken. Before getting there, being that this is a teen sex comedy, and is the blueprint and framework for The Last American Virgin (which Boaz Davidson wrote and directed), there had to be some skin. Fortunately there was, but not as much as I expected. I thought this would be downright exploitative, tits and ass from the start. It wasn't, there's no nudity until at least half an hour into the flick, and it's courtesy of a mature woman who spoke Italian. That has to be the dubbing, because the actress is Israeli. She spoke Italian during sex, but English when not doing it. She goes full frontal, and shags Bobby and Johnny, but Benji doesn't get any, as the woman's husband came in.

His virginity, I think he lost it in the other skin scene. A hooker that charges $10 for sex! Wow, but she didn't look bad. She only went topless, gave Benji a go. Benji didn't last long, he penetrated, so I guess that counts as losing virginity. I figure he'd have to climax so that it's a full on sexual intercourse. He didn't, he got up, and threw up. He got crabs from the woman, which was hilarious.

The third and last bit of nudity was a topless quickie from Nikky as she had to strip for her abortion. That's right, Bobby made her pregnant, and they shagged on a boat at night, Benji saw it. The pregnancy and Bobby not going to take care of the baby, brought Nikky and Benji together. At this point, Marta is just ditched, and this is where I can't fully get on with Benji. He is kind of a butthole for not trying with Marta. She wears big glasses, sure, but I'd give her one. So Nikky gets the abortion, you think they will come together. They get really close, he lets Nikky sleep in his place during the summer, he gets a birthday present for the woman. Benji goes to the party, and motherfucking Bobby is dancing with that fucking slut Nikky! Mr. Lonely plays as Benji walks the streets, crying, and that's the end of the movie!

That's a depressing ending, isn't it? I was so shocked at that, and really, it's not a good shock. Yeah it's not typical, I like the difference, but it could've been done with better results. For one, Marta should never have gotten involved at all. He would've been more sympathetic as a third wheel in hanging out with Bobby and Nikky. Hell, bring Johnny along, they'd be third and fourth wheel friends, while Bobby is getting trim, and he comes of as still a butthole. Bobby is absolutely horrible, he should be hung, drawn, and quartered for being too much of a player. Nikky should be spanked in the ass for her slutty ways.

When a movie makes me wish torture on two main characters, that's not really a good thing. Bobby is acceptable, but Nikky should've been a sympathetic character. She's not at all, her chance to be that is negated at the end. Still, the movie has a good deal of laughs, and the skin by the mature woman is classic. Total milf body, and personality, she steals the movie actually. Johnny is funny, and he lightens up the movie. It's really got a strong sense of drama, and the comedy is at best, half the movie's content. It barely edges out to being a good film, the treatment of Martha, the mixed results in making Benji likable, and just the ending, really hurt the film. It just passes based on certain characters and scenes, when overall, it's not a classic movie. I can see why it got so successful in Israel, and I guess that and Operation Thunderbolt gained so much stock for Golan and Globus to hit the States and buy Cannon Films. The documentary Electric Boogaloo pretty much cited the success of this movie as a driving factor to their migration to Hollywood. So for that, I do have to thank the film and Boaz Davidson for being a catalyst in Golan/Globus buy Cannon. At the same time, it's not great enough to get much praise from me. I came in for the skin, came out hating a bunch of characters, and the ending just stunned me.

Here's hoping Last American Virgin succeeds with me. If it's really a complete plot remake of Lemon Popsicle, I better brace myself for the ending. The women will probably be cuter and more attractive, the English will not be dubbed, and the music will be 80s. I know for sure that it's set in present day (as in the 80s), so the music will reflect it, and hopefully not be overdone. I measure teen sex comedies, and just sex comedies in general, by American Pie. That is a benchmark of my childhood because it taught me what sex is, basically. Plus it's still hilarious after all these years. This film doesn't nearly measure up to American Pie, but it's good enough for at least one replay. I am curious about the 8 sequels to this. 8 fucking sequels, my goodness.
 
Mad Max: Fury Road, a great action flick.
 
Bitch Slap. One of the best movie titles ever. The best way to describe this film is a perfect fusion of old school grindhouse films pre-80s, and Russ Meyer films. The former because of the all out action and insanity, ridiculous plot devices, a lot of violence and perversion. The latter because of the sex, the selection of women and how strong the female characters are. At least when referring to Russ Meyer's Faster Pussycat Kill Kill. Like that classic film, it features 3 women that seemed to be together for some fun. The grindhouse element comes in because they're bound by various agreements and circumstance. In FPKK, the 3 women, while not shown how they get together, are all Go-Go dancers. So there's a bond there. These three women don't have that single bond. While the Russ Meyer film had that threesome disintegrate, this one was destined to die right in the middle of the film. It was just a matter of how and when.

Similar to FPKK, two of the women, Hel ([NOBABE]Erin Cummings[/NOBABE]) and Camero ([NOBABE]America Olivo[/NOBABE]) are strong and independent babes. Trixie on the other hand is clearly a third wheel, victim kind of girl, who is only tied because she caught the eye of the man they kidnapped and threw at the back of their awesome looking car. Gage was the guy. Trixie is more like [NOBABE]Susan Bernard[/NOBABE]'s Linda, she's a weak little girl, while the other two are like Varla and Rosie.

The premise is that these 3 girls are hunting for a treasure that Gage hid somewhere around a trailer, out in the middle of the desert. I think it's outside Las Vegas, and I'm only going by that based on the city being a setting for a later scene. At first I was thinking Death Valley, or even the Mojave Desert, which was where Faster Pussycat was filmed. Never mind about Las Vegas, I just looked up on imdb, it was shot in California. It was funny that the area had an American flag. Gage is a Brit. Anyways, the film would go back in time to explain how they got to the desert. It progressively went further back in time, so by the end of the movie, there was a flashback to a couple months ago. It's great because it gives a break from the insanity of the present stuff. Even though some of the past stuff is wild in its own right.

This is a B-movie through and through, I don't know the budget of this, and I would say it's a low number. It's weird to say that though because of how inventive and lively the effects were. Alright, out of the way, every single location except for the desert, was shot on green screen. There, but then I think back to Sin City, I think the whole film was shot on green screen, as was the sequel. I typically associate the massive use of green screen to a low budget film. Anyways, the green screen visuals were actually really good. I think back to Sin City, it's glaringly obvious in all the scenes, characters not blending in perfectly with the background, but it's still done to best of the filmmakers' ability. You should see the credits, they are littered with special effect credits and names. They were self-aware in that too, with text saying "I know, I know, this visual effects crap goes on forever." It's totally acceptable, a lot of work is clearly put into the film.

The thing about it is I was thinking about Wild Things. That film had twists and turns to the point where it seemed like overkill. After the plot was established, every 20 minutes was a freaking twist. This movie is like that, there's a twist every couple minutes, but it's done really well. The flashback scenes establish it, whereas in Wild Things, you just get it told to you by a Matt Dillon or Kevin Bacon, or [NOBABE]Neve Campbell[/NOBABE]. I was wide eyed, open mouthed at many points during the final 20 minutes, it's absolutely amazing.

Given the influences to this film, you'd think there would be nudity, right? Well, there is, at only one point in the film. A quick flash of a stripper's breasts. That's it, none of the main characters get naked, and the tease for that is downright abusive. Slow motion shots of the women digging, Trixie does some stripper like moves and gyrations, her dress is tight, her nipples are poking. The cleavage on Camero, [NOBABE]Erin Cummings[/NOBABE]' figure is very much like [NOBABE]Christina Hendricks[/NOBABE], so that's a tease in and of itself. There's a lesbian scene between Trixie and Hel, and even that has no nudity, not even a stripping of the clothes, no accidental slips. Just heavy breathing and kissing, and it worked so well. I was wanking to that, it's so powerful yet not explicit. The film has serious lesbian undertones, Camero is clearly a lesbian herself. That's how she and Hel hooked up, in a prison, eating each other out really.

Hel's not a criminal though, that's a twist for you. Trixie is not just a stripper, there's a twist. I don't know if I should reveal the twists, because it's that kind of money where spoilers shouldn't be divulged, at least in detail. Camero is basically the most straightforward character, a badass bitch that got diamonds (more on that soon) and loves pussy. Oh and she takes drugs. Two pills, they made her more unstable. Gage by the way gets killed, the present day scenes becomes a series of unfortunate events, and when the women get control of the situation, it just becomes a warzone. Also on their minds is a mysterious entity, Pinky. Pinky gets the Keyser Soze treatment, meaning that person's identity is revealed in the movie, which again, I don't think I should spoil.

About the diamonds, Camero got them first, $20 million dollars worth. She's busted at a church after eating a nun's pussy by Gage. Is he a policeman or something? You never know exactly what he is other than a player with the ladies. He took the diamonds. About the church, and I feel ashamed for looking this up, it has two girls from Xena. [NOBABE]Lucy Lawless[/NOBABE] was Mother Superior! [NOBABE]Renée O'Connor[/NOBABE] was a nun. I never watched Xena, but surely I should've recognized Lucy. To be fair though, she is wearing nun clothing. Also Kevin Sorbo, Hercules, is Mr. Phoenix, who is Hel's superior. I think that description is enough, again, twists. Also [NOBABE]Christine Nguyen[/NOBABE] pops up as a girl riding a black guy's dick, of course that's not shown explicitly.

Another star appearance is [NOBABE]Zoe Bell[/NOBABE], who did the fight choreography and stunt coordinating here. She appears as a girl who got her ass kicked by Kinki, a crazy Asian that looks a bit like [NOBABE]Bai Ling[/NOBABE]. Now the fights. They are done really well. I think I'm a snob when it comes to fight scenes, because of Jackie Chan. Being spoiled by his fight scenes, the martial arts and prop mastery, I don't have an easy time getting on with fight scenes. [NOBABE]Zoe Bell[/NOBABE] kicks ass, and it was smart of the filmmakers to get her for the fight scenes. None of the three main women are martial arts masters, but that's why choreography is important. Also, camera work. There's too much shaky cam in today's cinema, and a lot of fight scenes are taking place in the dark, which makes the fighters look like they're flailing around. The camera here does fine enough, not shaking too much, catching some of the blows, and slow motion. That would annoy me, but I consider the slow motion bits as a way to show that the blows are connecting. When you slow-mo a fight, you notice the impact being nonexistent, no connecting, and the people fighting basically are staging it big time. Here, it works. Now there's some obvious bits where hits, namely high kicks, don't connect, but it's better than my snobbish self expected.

Heavy metal and hardcore music occupies the score of the movie, which is awesome. Maybe there is a Sin City influence, because most of the scenery shows some dirty stuff going on. Sex, drugs, fighting, things like that.

About Pinky, what gets the girls to hurry in digging up the treasure is the Keyser Soze on the hunt for Gage. The guy ripped off Pinky in some way, and that's fully revealed in the end, and paranoia rises. That's why the girls lose trust, mostly through Camero getting paranoid and over eager, and things just explode from there.

That's about it, I don't want to go to spoiler territory. It's fucking fantastic!!! Again, the twists had me reacting out loud. That's very rare, I tend to be quiet during films, have a laugh of course, but this just blew me away, and I reacted accordingly. Back to the teasing, the end credits is just a compilation of camgirls shaking their asses, and tease showing skin! That was random, but amazing, the filmmakers must've took time to browse porn tube sites to lift these ass shaking videos. So a true modern grindhouse movie that kicked a lot of ass. Hobo With A Shotgun, Father's Day, this movie, holy shit. I need to see more modern grindhouse flicks, and also see some vintage ones. These films are just nonstop, the most fun I've had watching films, it's amazing. They mix a lot of what I love, action, explosions, hot women, my goodness. Even some comedy, this movie features a lot of insults, Camero and Hel exchange a bevy of cracks. A lot of them are derogative terms against women. They're pretty funny, Camero just has a dirty mouth, she's the best part of the film. She oozes sex appeal, but is very filthy in it. She's a lesbian slut basically, and that's just so attractive to me. I was rooting for her, and she is not the protagonist. As a matter of fact, who is the protagonist? I guess Hel. Trixie? Twist. I should mention co-writer and director Rick Jacobson, he directed some episodes of Xena and Hercules, that explains bringing on the alum from that show. Anyways, awesome film, highly recommended. I'm wondering if Grindhouse, the Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino collaboration, caused this late 2000s, 2010s boom in modern grindhouse films. I think so. Thank goodness for them then.

Speaking of grindhouse, I want to mention an old school one. Firecracker, which I saw this morning. I read this after the fact, this film might be an indirect remake of TNT Jackson. Both films were directed by Cirio H. Santiago. I haven't seen the film, but I will soon if it inspired Firecracker. Both are Roger Corman productions. Bless this guy, I'm picking up his name more and more, and he sure knows what movies to pick and produce. Firecracker is a very short movie, blonde beauty [NOBABE]Jillian Kesner[/NOBABE] is someone who traveled to the Philippines to find out what happened to her sister. She died, but who killed her? Co-starring with her is the man with the best mustache in movie history. At least from what I've seen, Darby Hinton. Total 70s pornstar 'tache, amazing. It's a martial arts film, and this takes me back to the choreography. I did a quick search, and imdb claims [NOBABE]Jillian Kesner[/NOBABE] is a karate champ. See if I didn't look up just now, I would've made claim that she's not a martial artist, but choreography made her look like a talented one.

Now that I read that, I guess it's true. She did really well, kicked ass, but again, spoiled, she's no Jackie Chan or Bruce Lee. Compare her to [NOBABE]Cynthia Rothrock[/NOBABE], a legit martial artist and badass. Thinking of her during this, the difference is impact. Rothrock's stuff has great impact, but Kesner, not so much. I believe in her gymnast moves, unless she had a double. I don't see how though, it's not a big budget film, and it looked like everyone did their own thing. I'll give Kesner a pass, she's not a master, but she's portrayed as such in the movie, and it works. Darby Hinton? I don't know, couldn't find anything saying he trained in martial arts. Given how much fighting he does compared to Kesner, I think he's not a martial artist. So now I can say for sure that choreography really helped this film. He isn't flashy, that's the thing, and Kesner is. He does some punches and kicks, and can spin his knives around a lot, and that's about it. It's handled well though, it's like Jean Claude Van Damme, limited skills (or JCVD just relying on only 3 moves rather than venture out a lot), but it's done up well.

It's in English, but I think everything was dubbed. It was hilarious with one the natives, Grip saying "purpose." He pronounced it "porpoise." HAHA! Anyways, there's some funny bits, lots of martial arts, the first big fight scene came out literally out of nowhere. That was hilarious, Kesnar's character Susanne gets some ticket or whatever, leaves, comes into fellow American Pete's bar, cut, fight scene! It was underway too, you don't see how it started, just a fight scene. It's even funnier when no music played, and all you hear are the sound effects. Most of them are repeated over and over, such as "AHHH" and "UGH!" Almost Undefeatable (Rothrock film, it's on Youtube, WATCH IT!) levels of hilarity.

The Australian title to this film is "Naked Fist." So, nudity? Yes, only by Kesnar, her boobs come out, and she does fight scenes while topless. It's hilarious that in the first time she is stripped, she is in front of a crate that said "Rack master." Dude, her rack was impressive. Oh and her butt, my goodness! Awesome, and that goes bare too. No bush though unfortunately. Speaking of bare ass, fucking Darby Hinton goes that far, which was pretty funny. Oh and Kesnar can run in heels, I was impressed.

Simple plot really, it's 77 minutes long, there's not much to say other than it's really entertaining. Another Roger Corman winner for me.

Which brings to a movie I just finished watching. The first time I used Amazon Prime's instant video. This service is getting news for adding download options to mobile devices. I really hope they do it for PC and laptop, because that would beat Netflix for me. I prefer offline playback than streaming. However, thank goodness for my custom PC, it handled the stream perfectly. Prime seems to have a lot of obscure, low budget movies, along with big ones of course. I love it. I watched another Roger Corman produced flick, Attack of the 50 Ft. Cheerleader! A 2012 film that is very timely for me, because of the green screen.

Basically, a geeky blonde wants to fit in the sorority she's pledging and also wanting to get a spot as a cheerleader. She tries on an experiment she and a male friend and a doctor researched. Some chemical called Renew, if I spelled that right. It rebuilds cells and shit to heal deformities and physical problems. It was tested on a mouse that had a fucked up face, and it's all perfect in the end. Never tested on a human, she tries it, and becomes drop dead gorgeous! Oh my, her face, [NOBABE]Jena Sims[/NOBABE], total blowjob one! She was melting me with her hotness. Big fake tits yeah, tan, tall, nice butt, that face though. Her rival is sorority leader Brittany, she's short, brunette, bitchy face, but nice boobs and big butt. Played by [NOBABE]Olivia Alexander[/NOBABE]. The chemical's side effects kicked in, and Jena's character, Cassie, grew into a 50 ft cheerleader. Yeah, green screen, it becomes very obvious during the bright daylight scenes, like in the football stadium. It's a low budget thing, Roger Corman through and through, but it's handled well. The doctor I mentioned, he's played by Ted Raimi, I knew that face was familiar, Sam Raimi's younger brother. Corman actually appears as the Dean, and the professor of the economy class where the Dean observes, is John Landis! Movie legends add some class to this minor exploitative comedy. Jena and Olvia bare boobs and butt, as does a random blonde in the shower, but that's it. The nudity though is plentiful, and the girls are hot, so no problem with showing them again and again. I haven't gotten into the giantess fetish, but damn, I was having fantasies left and right with Cassie, and eventually Olivia's character [NOBABE]Brittany Andrews[/NOBABE] (actual name of a pornstar). Their feet, oh my goodness, their boobs, their butt, their cave sized vaginas, wow. Yeah, Brittany turns giant as well, but just by accidental injections to her breasts, with the syringes not being pushed in. So the logic is off. Of course the science is off, and there are other illogical stuff, but it's fun. Totally dumb fun. I loved the commentary on us millenials sticking to our smartphones. It's so accurate, and when the economy class films John Landis flipping out after his eye was stabbed, that's us. Everyone films everything. I should exclude myself, I don't even own a smartphone. Still, I just shook my head in agreement.

Dumb fun, exactly the kind of movie to watch late at night, where there's no way I can doze off. I'm learning now that I need to watch these films in my late night movie slot, absolutely perfect timing. It's a film to waste time in, move your night along. I'm now liking my Prime membership, not just for the free 2 day shipping. Even more if they add downloading to PC and laptops.
 
Watched a couple of great movies this weekend. PBS ran the Greatest historical epic "Lawrence Of Arabia". It holds up well and everything about it is just perfect. If you haven't seen it do so, and your local library probably has. HBO had Titanic on tonight, haven't seen it since it came out 18 years ago. Yes it's a <bleeping> chick flick pretending to be a disaster movie, but it worth seeing.
 
Killing American Style! From the director of one of the best movies ever made, Samurai Cop! This was before that masterpiece of wigs and cheap grindhouse stuff. Samurai Cop, I think was writer/director Amir Shervan's lowest budget film, and it really showed. Here, the budget is clearly bigger, but that's not saying much. Maybe most of the money here went into paying off named actors like Robert Z'Dar (who was also in Samurai Cop) and Jim Brown. Samurai Cop had a crap ton of locations, but this one is very small in comparison. Most of the time it takes place in the house of main hero John Morgan, played by Harold Diamond. He'll probably always be remembered as the guy who fought Rambo with sticks in the third movie. That's a bit of a shame because I loved him in here and the 2 Andy Sidaris films he was in. After this film, Harold Diamond did Gypsy, another Amir film, and disappeared. I just found out through IMDB, he's in a TV Movie called Thunderland. There's nothing about it other than a demo reel, that didn't have Diamond. It was released in May 31, according to imdb, and the budget was $1000. Hmmm.

Aw man, it would take a very long time to explain Amir Shervan. I'm used to sharing my Samurai Cop fandom with like-minded individuals in that respect. So I wouldn't have to explain all the bits in that movie and this one. To someone who never saw any of his films, it's a task.

Basically, he was an Iranian filmmaker who tried to create American films, with a serious language barrier and production flaws that could rival the Holy Bible in terms of content. That's a very simple explanation. He made films with heart, but they turned out really, bad. So bad, it's good. No, so bad, it's amazing!

What does this film had? Continuity errors, racial slurs and stereotyping, a kid with a gun, flubbed lines, dodgy editing, dubbed over audio, hilarious facial expressions, overacting, piecing in different locations as one, unintentional comedic gold, martial arts, tits and ass, a rape scene, a latino guy playing a Japanese man called Dr. Fuji!!!

Jesus Christ, it's crazy. The funniest part in the film, which is very hard to pick, was when Jim Brown and his wife were eating watermelons!!! Oh my goodness, that was, I can't help it. Unbelievable, and that's all they ate, no grape soda, no fried chicken, no other food, just watermelons, with forks even!

And Dr. Fuji was called a gook. AHHH, see what I mean? I'd suggest starting with this film before Samurai Cop. I did the opposite, and noticed a bit of a dropoff, but at the same time, very welcoming to see another Amir film. As far as I've searched, only Samurai Cop and Killing American Style got proper DVD remasters, with the former getting a bluray version. Handled by Cinema Epoch. Now Hollywood Cop, I don't think has been remastered and released by Cinema Epoch. I bet the one I ordered is just a VHS conversion placed in a DVD-R disc. I'm still waiting for that, placed my order in a week ago. I haven't been charged yet, so that's fine, but I'm still concerned. The two other films, Gypsy and Young Rebels, have not been remastered for DVD/Blu-ray, that I know for sure. I can't find those two for sale by any notable retailer. Cinema Epoch owns all the films, so hopefully they get proper remastering, maybe it's waiting for Samurai Cop 2 to come out, ride that momentum and be able to afford the remastering of the 3 other films.

Anyways, continuity. One shot had Harold Diamond in purple pants, the next, he's wearing black pants. Same shirt and jacket too by the way. Someone calls the cathouse the "Gapery," but the actual women call it something else. Random story bits like Loony being Tony's uncle, something not mentioned until the second half of the film. Continuity again, Tony (Robert Z'Dar) has a mom...or stepmom, but he calls her "mom." It's ridiculous, but that's what makes it awesome.

Now the DVD I have, there are parts where the color is inverted. Most notably a long shot of the motel, it looks like it came straight out of an acid trip. I looked at a VHS rip of the film, it didn't have color inverting. It can't be the DVD, it played fine with no problems, despite some scratches. I don't know, I'll just take it as a remaster issue, but doesn't hurt the film.

[NOBABE]Delia Sheppard[/NOBABE] is in this film, but her role is very small. She appears in the first few scenes, dances, shows her tits, amazing! She legitimately warms my heart, because she's still working today. I was so happy to see that on imdb, as well as recent pictures of her. She looks like she hasn't aged at all, amazing. The thing is I'm finding out that a lot of these softcore/B-movie actresses from the 90s disappear by the mid 2000s. What's worse is that there's no recent pictures of them, completely off the face of the Earth. For example,[NOBABE] Nikki Fritz[/NOBABE], I haven't seen recent pictures of [NOBABE]Julie Strain[/NOBABE]. I don't know if she still has her long black hair, or if she gained weight. She looked a bit, ugh, I have to be sensitive to this. She looked a bit heavier in Popatopolis. I don't know when her interview was recorded, I assume 2005, by then her activity in movies was dwindling big time. Anyways, yeah, Delia still working, so happy with that. Another example is [NOBABE]Monique Parent[/NOBABE], and she still looks amazing too.

Harold Diamond's a legit martial artist. I don't have the facts to confirm it, but just watching him work, it's clear he knows what he's doing. He choreographed the stick fight scenes in Rambo 3, and the martial arts scenes in Picasso Trigger, and I think Hard Ticket To Hawaii. Just see how he kicks, his helicopter punches, and even some wrestling, there's no doubt in my mind about his ability. It's just so sad to know he just dropped off the face of the Earth. I'm kissing his ass, but note that he's not the best part in the film. Robert Z'Dar was, he took his roles seriously, even in Samurai Cop. Fair play to him, sad that he passed away a couple months ago, not being able to do Samurai Cop 2. This was the first time I saw him without facial hair, and oh my goodness, that jaw is crazy. At one point where the cops bust him and he's shirtless and wearing short pants, he looked like The Hulk. The old school one played by Lou Ferrigno. Just slap on green and there you go. He was a hard bastard in this film.

But back to Diamond, he was definitely the second best. Jim Brown was rather wasted, his role was small, and he was just a big name to use. The fact his most memorable scene is eating watermelons, tells you about his involvement in the film.

The plot. Man, I forgot there was one. Four guys rob a small place that has a bag of money, it doesn't look like a bank, and the parking lot is filled with ice cream trucks! So they snatched the money, some of them are busted. Two of them are busted out by the third man, Loony, and Tony's brother. The 4th man, some blonde guy with a familiar face, stayed in prison and was interrogated later in the film. So 4 men, Lynch, Tony, Loony, Tony's brother, shack up at John Morgan's house. It was the nearest residence, very convenient for the plot. The money's in the possession of mom/stepmom. The actress for that role, is unknown, I have no idea. The credits in imdb and this film gave nothing, it's ridiculous, the only negative thing in this film. Yep, and that doesn't really deal with the film's contents, so what does that say?

At the house is John's wife, and her sister. John and his son were busy doing karate or something. So they are held hostage and have to deal with Tony's brother's gunshot wound near the stomach. How convencient, John's wife's sister is a student nurse. Yet she suggested a private doctor scenes later, when she should've done it immediately. Continuity...

John gets involved, and has to do what the criminals tell him to do, meanwhile Jim Brown, as Lt. Sunset (HAHA!) tries to solve the case in his own right. Dr. Fuji becomes a hostage as well, and that's pretty much it. The plot is pretty simple, but executed so badly that it was hilarious. Minor characters almost steal the show with their crazy antics and looking like total goobers. I have a feeling those characters are not actors at all. If you look at the film credits, there's simple names like "Mike." That's it, "L.J." Seriously, and Amir did that for Samurai Cop, clearly 95% of the people in the film weren't actors. Even Fujiyama, a main villain, was just some guy Amir found at a mall.

It's basically a film that has to be seen to be believed. I wish a documentary was made on Amir. Fresh off of Electric Boogaloo, a documentary on two Israeli guys who made it to Hollywood. Here, an Israeli director trying to make American films. Man, imagine if those three characters worked together. Unfortunately Amir started his American films during Cannon's steep decline. Ah well. From start to finish, it's hilarious and entertaining. No slow parts, nothing bad at all, except me being a bit anal with actor credits. You know, like who is John's wife's sister? The fact she doesn't get nude shows that maybe you need to show tits at least, to get a proper credit. Veronica Paul, only film she did, as John's wife. Credit. [NOBABE]Delia Sheppard's[/NOBABE] uncredited, and yeah she was in Rocky V, not sure if it was before or after Killing American Style. But her, show tits, credit. There's a stripper that bares her breasts, no credit, but she may be actually a stripper. The mom/stepmom, no nudity, no credit.

Ah well, again, just an amazing film. Unfortunately the DVD pretty much is just the movie and some interview. No audio commentary, which would be sweet. Harold Diamond, find the man, get his thoughts on this, there has to be a story behind the film. The Samurai Cop story is something I've heard over a dozen times, and it never gets old. Surely there has to be one for this.

Samurai Cop 2. It's coming next month, a bluray should be arriving soon after the theater appear. That film is without a doubt, the most anticipated film for me in 2015. That's right, more than the Hateful 8, more than The Force Awakens. More than Danish Girl, which sees Eddie Redmayne play a MTF transsexual, and that prospect really really interests me.
 

Piper Blush

Official Checked Star Member
I just watch Le Mirage a French Quebecois movie. I loved it!
It's about a man who is unhappy with his life and how he reacts to it all. He wants to have sex with is best friend's wife, he loves her new breasts. He does not have enough sex at home. It's a man's point of view on why he would cheat.
 
Avengers: Age of Ultron. I was thinking that maybe this film wouldn't go over well with me because the year has been filled with B movies, softcore titles, trash, finally getting into horror films. Basically, no mainstream films. I've seen a few, but between May and today, the amount of mainstream movies I've seen has to be less than 10. I've been having so much fun with these movies, I've gained a lot of appreciation for guys like Roger Corman, Andy Sidaris, Amir Shervan, and so many others that are not mainstream names whatsoever.

Dipping my head back to the mainstream today proved to be pretty successful. As soon as the opening scene finished, I felt like I was going to have a good time. I did, but I tried comparing the experience of watching this to my viewing of Electra (1996) last night. That movie embodies "so bad, it's good." From the bad acting, to the bad effects, to the bad dialogue, to the bad execution of a taboo storyline (stepmom). It pretty much proves why comic book superhero movies were not taken seriously until the 2000s.

It's not based on a comic book, it just looks like it was. More sci-fi though, the main protagonist, who is one of the worst actors in the film, is superhuman. He's kept that way because of enhancement drugs, basically an experiment or whatever. Adding professionalism to the movie was [NOBABE]Shannon Tweed[/NOBABE], and it's funny how she dons the movie cover. Not the guy, not his girlfriend, nobody but Shannon. She isn't the lead, that's what makes it funny, and she dies in the end, also pretty much a villain by then. Anyways, the bloopers showed the people having a good time, Shannon especially. She was awesome.

Back to Age of Ultron, I was wondering if I liked this more than Electra, on an entertainment level. I think in the middle of the movie, I think it was clear that I'd like this movie more. The movie is long, that's another thing, the stuff I've watched hardly ever goes above 100 minutes, and on average, it's 90 minutes. Well, maybe even 80, because I've been coming up on 70-79 minute flicks. I never looked at the clock, I didn't multitask, the movie moved really quick for me, so big compliment.

The plot is very simple, I was wondering why there was such a spoiler territory built. I'm watching the film, and didn't feel any plot points spoiled would ruin the film for me. Yeah, I don't want to be told the plot before watching the film, but still. Nothing shocked me. It didn't have to, but I should mention the trailer. That pretty much gave the movie's plot, some details fill in some blanks. How Tony Stark moved on with building Ultron was the big thing that watching the movie filled in.

In hindsight, it's surprising how filled the film is. Joss Whedon, I remember reading, wanted to make the sequel able to fit in all these superheroes without overbloating. I think he succeeded, for the most part. I think if I watched it again, I'll raise eyebrows about how characters turn, how they're introduced, how quick all that happens. For example, suddenly Vision is being built, it takes one...vision for Scarlet Witch and her brother Quicksilver to turn. They're never called by those names, but their human names.

I think I'll be fine for repeat viewings. If anything, I would mention that the movie would have to be longer in order to stretch out the reasoning for character introductions and turns, and depth. It's 141 minutes, but the credits are fucking long! The mid-credits scene is less than a minute by the way, so that didn't make the credit sequence long. It's long for a reason, so many people contributed to making the film stunning. The CG is top of the line, the camera work is very efficient, everything was tight, it's the best thing about a mainstream film. Everything looks like it went right. But when that doesn't happen, it makes for funny results. The only CG bit I had a problem with was the runaway train. Assuming that's CG, I just thought of Inception, and how that similar stunt was done and it looked so real. There are bits where the CG looks obvious, and I think that comes from watching so many low budget films. What you see is what you get, and when some of them do special effects, they mostly look cheap or downright bad. If you can see the worst, you can see everything better than it. The absolute best is when you can't tell. There are some parts in the film where I couldn't tell if it was real or CG, but some that are obvious.

One key positive about the film, are the breaks. Pacing and taking time is done really well, and silent parts really work. Particularly when the gang make it to Hawkeye's house. The scenery was amazing, the atmosphere was fitting, it just worked. Many of the quiet parts led to character development, which is a 1-up over the first Avengers movie. The enhanced character department is caused by Scarlet Witch messing the crew up, except Hawkeye. Jeremy Renner's character took more of a lead during their down times, and that's important because he risks being the weakest link. [NOBABE]Black Widow[/NOBABE] too, but the risk is washed away here when she's getting into Bruce Banner.

That developing relationship was nice, but I noticed that said relationship, and more minor facts and such, were just spoken in conversation. Bruce and Natasha had the moment in the opening scene, but still. Pepper Pots, Jane Foster? Oh they're doing this and that. How simple. I'm nitpicking, but things like that show how to tie up loose ends as quick as possible.

The best part in the film was everything with James Spader. That man needs to be nominated for an Oscar, because he was amazing in the film. I don't know if there was ever a nomination for just voice acting, because that's basically James Spader's performance. However, it's done so damn well, he could've been in an Ultron suit, do his scenes, and still kick ass. I was hanging off every word. The film got really wordy and a bit pretentious as far as human value, philosophy and all that. But he was the most convincing in his words, and that falls in the acting performance. Just brilliant, I'm serious, he should be nominated for Best Supporting Actor. Marvel movies are all great, but one of their weakest bits are villains. Loki is an exception, and I liked Red Skull simply because of Hugo Weaving, now I can add Ultron. I'm pretty sure I'll add Thanos too, Josh Brolin is right casting for the part, the right voice too, and I never read the comics or seen Marvel shows.

The plot is simple, again, so detailing it is not necessary. This happens, that happens, it's easy to follow, it's a comic book superhero through and through. I'm thinking about it more and more, and nitpicks are popping up. One that was immediate after watching the scene, was how Natasha got Bruce Banner to turn to Hulk. Just like the "I'm always angry" line in the first movie. I'm wondering if that's a running gag now. Both instances don't really make sense. Well, this one makes more sense because of stress, but the first one?

Nitpicking again, what the hell with Thor's outfit? No sleeves, long sleeves, no sleeves, long sleeves. That's ridiculous.

The comic book version of the Ultron story cites Hank Pym as the creator. Edgar Wright's version of the Ant Man script reflected that, but things fell out, and Whedon made it so Tony Stark was the creator. I think that was the right thing to do, because Michael Douglas and Paul Rudd would've made the film bloated. The film really tiptoed the line between overkill and just right. Definitely adding one more superhero would've been a bit much. I mean, Falcon's role was really small, which was bittersweet. I like Anthony Mackie, he was very likable instantly in Winter Soldier. Don Cheadle is awesome, also bittersweet with his role, but I get it. He had more to do than Falcon though. Thank goodness they didn't use [NOBABE]Gwyneth Paltrow[/NOBABE]! And [NOBABE]Natalie Portman[/NOBABE]. I like her, but come on, I go back to the South Park Thanksgiving episode that parodied the first Thor movie. It's pretty accurate, even in the sequel, what the hell was she needed for? I think the filmmakers saw that episode and tried to make Portman more important to the plot of Dark World, but still. She's basically the [NOBABE]Kate Capshaw[/NOBABE] of the 2010s. I'm referencing Temple of Doom, yeah, Willie Scott. Not particularly in personality, obviously by worth in the film. I'm giving Portman a hard time, but seriously, what did she do for both movies? Love interest? I mean I was flabbergasted when I heard that in the comic books, Jane Foster became Thor, somehow she wielded his hammer.

Which does bring me to the hammer. Whoever holds it, is "worth" it to Thor. See I heard that if you hold his hammer, you are the next Thor, so to speak. So Vision was able to hold the hammer...

Ah, I can't remember too well, I would be better at explaining this if I actually read comic books dammit. Speaking of Vision, Paul Bettany was great. Jarvis was always a nice voice in the previous films, so in his new form, it felt like a promotion for the actor.

Samuel L. Jackson! Ah yes, it was hilarious when he called out Captain America on language, which the Cap himself called out Tony Stark on it. Yeah, that's just one of a couple running gags in the film. The comedic moments in the film were nice by the way. Anyways, freaking Jackson calling out on language, that's so hilarious. I don't need to explain why...

I didn't know the backstories of the twins, so it was weird to hear Aaron Taylor Johnson, Kick-Ass himself, doing an Eastern European accent. And he's British in real life, just crazy. I remember reading about how British actors are getting American roles, and also Aussies, foreigners getting American roles. It's interesting, they happen to do accents better. [NOBABE]Elizabeth Olsen[/NOBABE], my goodness. She looked cute, but there was one moment in the film, where her boobs are hanging, cleavage. That wasn't cute, that was hot! Oh man, I'm used to skin man, I'm coming down big time with this being a PG-13 flick. ScarJo didn't offer much in the wank department, other than a point where she's barefoot, she was on her knees. That's it. To be fair, I didn't focus on her outfit and how it made her body more bombshell looking. If I did, I'd comment more on the hotness of her.

I should bring up Tony Stark and Steve Rodgers. I was expecting their relationship to sour as the film progressed. They had rough patches, but in the end, were friendly. I'm curious now how Civil War will get them on each others case. I thought Civil War would have the dissent between the two simmering and ready to be served. Now I don't think so based on the film. Not that it's a bad thing, just something to point out.

So I still have to watch Ant Man, but looking at clips, I don't think there'd be much advancing in terms of the big MCU storyline that involves Thanos. Just to get Scott Lang in the MCU. Civil War is shaping up to really be Avengers 2.5, and note how I didn't call it "Captain America: Civil War." I think that's what the filmmakers are going for as well. That should be interesting to watch, especially after hearing about a certain character called Crossbones, and what he does to Captain America...

Anyways, fantastic film, a bit better than the original. Steps up from the original too in terms of bringing the whole team together, character development, another strong villain role and performance, more expensive. It's an evolved form of the first movie, using Ultron's verbage when it comes to his statements on humanity. It's darker too, so the replay value is based on being in the mood for some of the heavier stuff. The first movie wins in that regard because you can pop it in any time of the week, with lighter tone, great comedy bits, and there's a more fun aspect to that thanks to Tom Hiddleston. The replay value here is great though, just going by my tastes, I'll probably end up playing the original more if I just want to chill. If I feel like thinking and having fun at the same time, I'd pop in this movie. Stan Lee's cameo was hilarious by the way.

Quickly, I just saw Skin Deep. Not sure if that's mainstream, but definitely doesn't play like the B-movie trash I've been seeing. Straight up comedy flick with an interesting story. I was hesitant to watch it, but then I learned Blake Edwards also directed the original Pink Panther movies. I never saw those, but I assumed he was credible in the comedy world. I believe it after watching the film. Surprisingly good, of course I saw for the skin. Not a shit ton, but enough spaced around the first 3/4s of the film to get me aroused. What drew me to the film was [NOBABE]Raye Hollitt[/NOBABE] getting her boobs and butt out. Fucking awesome, but the rest of the movie was nice, without a doubt. I was expecting a relationship between main character Zach and well, whoever he fucked. I was thinking maybe it was Hollitt's character, but then I thought it would be [NOBABE]Chelsea Field's[/NOBABE] Amy, or even [NOBABE]Julianne Phillips'[/NOBABE] Holly. It was neither, and Amy was gone after the hilarious glow in the dark cock scene. Yep.

It's basically a womanizing alcoholic trying to find out his problems and how to fix it, while wanting and trying to get back with his wife. [NOBABE]Denise Crosby[/NOBABE] is in this, only in the opener, wished she showed some skin. It's a grounded movie, but there's a lot of outrageous comedy bits that make it stand out. The aforementioned cock scene, the wave at the end of the movie hitting a beach house inside, John Ritter's selling of getting some intense physical therapy from Holly, Harry the Dog getting crushed! Ah, good stuff.
 
I want to comment on a series of films, I would feel bad if I didn't.

In order, the first film to comment on is Jurassic City. I suddenly had the urge to type about it. Cheap, overuse of CGI, inexperienced actresses leading the film, and some bad dialogue. Now on the latter, that's just me, and it's why I don't want to watch modern films so much. The dialogue, when going by how people talk today, tends to be uninteresting. Ugh, the overuse of "like," the airheaded personalities, textspeak like "OMG" being said. I hate it, but that's how people talk today. That's not the biggest thing of the movie, thankfully, it's a serious pet peeve of movies set in present day.

Inexperienced actresses, a bunch of millennials who never did a big budget movie, and hopefully never will. See, the girls in Attack of the 50 Ft. Cheerleader were inexperienced, talked like people do today, but were more entertaining. The three main girls, that whittled down to two, I just couldn't get on with. The bad CGI, that's what turns me off to watching these monster flicks, and is why I have yet to see Sharknado. I know, it's a bad film series, blatantly bad, and that's another thing. "So bad it's good" is clearly defined by people trying to make a good film, and it turns out to be hilariously bad. The guys behind Sharknado clearly made it intentional for the films to be bad. I feel I won't like that, and the CG, and fucking [NOBABE]Tara Reid[/NOBABE]. I have some interest solely on the cameos I read in the films. Kurt Angle, Chris Jericho, lapsed wrestling fan in me is interested. [NOBABE]Bo Derek[/NOBABE], oh my goodness, still a hottie.

So the CG in this film for the dinosaurs, is bad, and I am generally not a CG fan. If it's great, I'll let it ride, like Age of Ultron. Here, it's bad, but at times, hilariously bad. Also at times, it does work, there are some points where the CG is obvious, some parts where...it's alright. You can always tell it's CG with this film, but I let it slide.

What really drew me to the film on paper are the veteran actors. Namely, Jimmy Williams, and especially [NOBABE]Monique Parent[/NOBABE]. So happy she's still working, and it's the first film I've seen of her where she doesn't get naked. Thus proving she doesn't have to strip in order for me to like her. I just loved watching her, and in a nice role as a lesbian jailbird. I was hoping she didn't die, but she did. At least she lasted a while enough to make an impact.

Jimmy Williams has been in the best B-movies of all time, namely Samurai Cop and Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers, and though his roles in both were small, he's just one of those guys where you never forget. It took me a while to find out he's in the movie, he wasn't in the opening credits, neither was Monique. Now the surprising veteran actors, I didn't look this movie's cast up a lot. Ray Wise and Vernon Wells! My goodness, Leland Palmer and Bennett in one movie. Amazing to see them, and their roles were great. Wise was the warden of the prison that for some reason had female jailers, and male prisoners. Also for some reason, the solitary confinement spot is near the women's jail cells, and the person occupying it...is a fucking rapist! That just made me laugh, and the rapist in question had to team up with the young ladies. He reverted to his rapist ways towards the end, it was only a matter of time.

So the plot is basically dinosaurs being let loose in a prison, and various characters try to survive. It's only 3 raptors that can run. I don't know my dinosaurs, so I can't say what species they were exactly. In the end, it turns out Vernon Wells' character, some kind of authority figure, released more dinosaurs, and just wants to unleash them to the world for some sick reason. So in the end, you see more dinosaurs, barely. Only clear shot is the pterodactyl, they probably didn't have enough money to show the horde in the city up close.

It was a fine movie, close to being pretty bad, but thank goodness for the vets in the film. Really, everyone that isn't in their 20s, made the film watchable. As a guy in his 20s, it's amazing how I can't get on with women of my age, but there you go. That's why I don't even like teen flicks. I'm just off my teen years, and I didn't like the peers of those times. Too many cliches as well when going into old teen flicks. I love teen main characters, like Marty McFly, but hopefully you get the idea. John Hughes flick, ehhh, I'm just not interested. I liked Ferris Bueller's Day Off, but a good deal of it looked self-indulgent.

The film I wanted to focus on solely, was Never Too Young To Die. Here's why you should watch it. Gene Simmons as the bad guy...or girl...better yet, he plays a hermaphrodite. That's right, Gene Simmons played a fucking hermaphrodite, which according to the movie is a "half woman, half man." So simple, when it's not. I think of them as someone born with male and female genitalia, and probably exhibits main qualities of males and females. It's more complex, half man/half woman is just kind of insensitive. Then again, I let it slide because ultimately I don't care much.

So yeah, watch the film because of Gene Simmons, because he absolutely steals the show. However, if you are a Full House fan, like me who watched it a lot on Nick At Nite, then you'll be treated to John Stamos in his first ever feature full length film role. TV movies don't count, and the man's been in a shit ton of those and TV shows. He's a TV guy, so it's so interesting to see this proper movie. I guess it looks like a TV movie, low budget and the aesthetic is more TV like. At the same time, this was released in 1986, I don't think TV movies would be that edgy. If it was today, sure. Explosions, violence, outrageous characters, with Simmons' gang looking like Mad Max characters, and a bit of nudity. Coming from a certain lady named [NOBABE]Vanity[/NOBABE]. I only recognize the name of that as a shemale pornstar using the name. Turns out there was an actress called that, who got the name from Prince. Apparently, a name Prince considered for her was "Vagina." HAHA! I guess it was appropriate because I heard she fucked a couple celebrities in the entertainment industry, and in this film, it's implied she fucked John Stamos' Lance Stargrove's dad, and then clearly shags him. More on that later.

And two names I didn't even catch until looking at imdb. Robert Englund! He had a small role as Gene Simmons' Ragner's science guy, right hand man, Riley. I always thought of Englund as a bald man, but here he has a full head of hair, and wearing glasses. The other name, George Lazenby! A one time James Bond, he was Stargrove's dad. I was wondering why the dad said "bloody hell," as clearly Lance Stargrove is an American. There you go.

Lance is a high school gymnast, which I guess was a trend in the 80s, gymnastics. I think that because there's a movie called Gymkata, where the director, Robert Clouse ([NOBABE]Enter the Dragon[/NOBABE] director), capitalized on lead actor Kurt Thomas' gymnast celebrity. When I think of gymnasts, I think of underage girls killing it in the Olympics. Get your mind out of the gutter if you're thinking I'm imagining these little girls in some other way.

Seriously, the few Olympic stuff I saw, these underage gymnast athletes. It's weird. Funny too considering that Stamos here, a beautiful man, I will not hide that fact, had an effeminate air about him. And, he's little, compared to me being 6'3". Kurt Thomas, freaking tiny, effeminate. There you go.

The plot, which is hard to imagine given Gene Simmons' scenes, was Lance's dad being killed. He had a floppy disk, that's right, a floppy disk, of information that pertains to some water supply. Ragner the hermaphrodite, wants the disk for that information, as he wants to poison the water supply. So he believes Lance knows about it, which he does after his dad was killed, not before, as it's implied that's what Ragner believes.

The movie's action consisted of spy/espionage thriller mixed with typical over the top 80s. You know, explosions, guns, fights, explosions, explosions, and can't forget...explosions! It's crazy, but when you see a lot of these, you are numb to it. Again, typical. But I think the film gets away with it, because it looks out of place that young Lance, and his Asian friend Cliff, would come together and blow shit up.

The movie I thought while watching this was No Retreat No Surrender. Young main characters getting into some action, and the craziness is turned up to 11, legendary levels of it. This movie had it, the insanity is just unbelievable. The action is different, martial arts vs. 80s action. It's odd, yes the movies are very very different, but I just thought of it. I mean shit, crazy characters for sure. Cliff would definitely hang with RJ, have a buddy movie with them. Stargrove is definitely better than the Bruce Lee fan, and takes more of a stand early on. But damn, Gene Simmons just sets everything apart.

Note this guy is not an actor, he's that guy from KISS with the tongue. That's how I view him as, I don't listen to KISS. I mean I learn more about the guy as time goes on. That he had a sextape, that he's a bit of a knobhead (trying to use some British slang), that he's miraculously married to [NOBABE]Shannon Tweed[/NOBABE], and has been with her for, shit, 30 years? The only film I saw of him before this was Wanted: Dead Or Alive, where his Israeli ethnicity was capitalized on as he played a Middle Eastern terrorist. But damn, this character? Think Dr. Frank-N-Further with a world domination plan, and a long tongue. Yep, he got out the tongue twice in the film. He didn't at all in Wanted: Dead Or Alive.

I really wonder what Simmons thinks of this, or even Stamos. This movie is pretty much obscure, I don't think it was ever released on DVD. It would be awesome if it got a [NOBABE]blu-ray[/NOBABE] remaster, because the quality is pretty low. It's free on Youtube. I got the impression from listening to a podcast, that Simmons would rather forget about the film. I should also mention that Simmons also plays Carruthers. A partner of Lance's dad. See I didn't notice that until the reveal, and I feel dumb for not noticing. Clearly, it's Simmons with a red wig and red stick-on beard. I don't know, I'm just dumb sometimes. Carruthers is Ragner, somehow he was able to infiltrate the government agency, whatever the hell it was.

I have to bring up a major highlight in the film, the scene between [NOBABE]Vanity [/NOBABE]and Stamos. The woman wanted to fuck Stamos, and she tried her best. Stripping, going topless, using a water hose on her, it's crazy. Stamos didn't want to, probably because he'd rather fuck himself. He distracts himself, tries to, by eating an apple. Wow. They do shag, and even that's crazy with the editing consisting of replaying moments in the sex scene, just in different camera angles. My goodness, it's just wild.

Wild, crazy, insane, I'm using the same words over and over, but that's really what the film is. It's an anomaly that it was made, and that Gene Simmons would attach himself to this product. [NOBABE]Vanity[/NOBABE] wanting to shake off Prince? Stamos, I understand, take any role, young struggling actor, this was before Full House of course. It's free on Youtube, if anyone has the time, watch it, you won't regret it.

The movie that made me want to comment on stuff other than Never Too Young To Die, is Big Bad Mama 2. I watched it this morning, and yeah. I'll get the negative out the way first.

No explanation for the 2 year period between 1932 where the first movie takes place, and 1934, where this movie is set. At the end of the first movie, it's implied, pretty much for sure in my opinion, that Wilma McClatchie ([NOBABE]Angie Dickinson[/NOBABE]) dies after the huge shootout. Well, she's just fine here. Alright, didn't explain that, I can let it slide. She's one tough mama man. Here's the kicker though, who the fuck was the man? The girls, obviously plated by different actresses, called him "daddy." But in the first movie, their dad, Wilma's husband, dies, and that's why they go on a crime spree in the first place, to support themselves.

There's no indication either if he was simply their stepdad. So part of me thinks the movie is a reboot, more than a sequel. However, the women get right into the shooting and such, showing that they did it before. So, it's a sequel. Roger Corman produced the original and this movie, you'd think he or someone would bring up specific story elements that should be followed up on. Nope, just get hot and heavy in the action right away.

To be fair, that is typical given the director of this, good ol' Jim Wynorski. Like Deathstalker II, he takes a Roger Corman production and adds his own brand of entertainment to it. So the stepdad, I'll refer to the guy as that, is killed by a candidate running for governor, Crawford, and his police. Why? Because suddenly Crawford takes ownership of the house the McClatchies live in. When stepdad refuses to leave, he gets shot. Simple.

Lastly, one of Wilma's daughter was impregnated by Tom Skerritt's Diller. No baby seen, abortion? One of them in this movie holds onto a doll of a toddler. I was thinking throughout that said doll should've been real. 2 year break, it makes sense.

The movie is pretty much a revenge tale. Negatives out the way, if you've seen Wynorski movies like Chopping Mall and The Lost Empire, the man inputs his love of movies into the script. Most of the times he writes the movies he directed. He's basically like Quentin Tarantino, who admittedly rips from movies he loved as a young man, and puts his spin on it and presents a contemporary piece. Sometimes a period one, like Inglorious Basterds, but you get the idea.

The love input here, is of Western movies. Throughout I kept citing Westerns, as it's obvious in some of the lines, and even moreso with the music! You got a lot of Ennio Moricone in this, circa Dollars trilogy and Two Mules For Sister Sara. Clint Eastwood Westerns man, they have a serious presence. I was also thinking of High Plains Drifter during the bathing scene of [NOBABE]Angie Dickinson[/NOBABE], and The Outlaw Josey Wales during the final epic shootout, and the McClatchies are shacked up in a house.

I love those movies, so it was nice to pick up on it. The first movie had a Western undertone to it, this movie had a Western overtone, it was so obvious by the music and actions. There was a casino scene that reminded me of For A Few Dollars More. It looks out of place because this is set in Depression era America, and you see money flowing in that place, but you get the contrast in Hoover towns.

The revenge tale is really like The Outlaw Josey Wales. Josey's family is killed, he turns to crime and wants revenge. Here, Angie's husband, the stepdad, is killed, goes back to robbing and getting some money, and wants revenge against the Governor hopeful.

So the story includes a slow revenge plan. Rather than just go and kill the guy, Wilma finds Crawford's son, and kidnaps the young man. Pretty much like the first movie's kidnapping, but that was in the final quarter. This movie uses that element as a main storyline. An old journalist is infatuated with the McClatchie's journey through crime, and tails them. So it becomes a big 5 person group. Crawford Jr, I'll refer to the son as that, has the hots for Billie Jean. No pregnancy, just romance.

Like the first movie, it really falls on [NOBABE]Angie Dickinson[/NOBABE] to carry the film. She's the star, the veteran, the anchor, the heart and soul. There's a huge 10+ year difference between the first and second, and you can tell how much Dickinson aged. To the point where her nude scenes featured a body double. It's quite obvious. Despite reading the fact after watching the first movie, and expecting it here, it still was obvious. The double had pale skin, and look at her hands, they are younger looking. Dickinson was well into her 50s. Now I read that [NOBABE]Monique Gabrielle[/NOBABE] doubled for [NOBABE]Angie Dickinson[/NOBABE]. Jim Wynorski claimed that. I really don't know if that's true, because the woman had smaller looking breasts. Monique's were big, and I'm thinking she's natural. I can't confirm it, but she definitely looked natural. Now this body double, smaller looking boobs, and they looked fake. There was a droop to it, I'm sure it's easy to picture. Women with aged implants, their boobs at a certain point droop. Think of [NOBABE]Raylene[/NOBABE], only with smaller boobs, the droop on hers is like that of this double.

The two daughters though get nude, and my goodness they were young. Without looking at their ages, they just appeared to be very young, and now I got the confirmation. Girls in their early 20s man. One of them looked like [NOBABE]Lea Thompson[/NOBABE], I even double checked if she was actually in this.

Obviously a different director from Steve Carver, Jim Wynorski adds Western overtones, and some comedy, and increase the skin. Oh, and blood squibs! Holy cow, this didn't happen a lot, but there were instances where the film got very bloody. Even the first scene, a huge blast to the police man by the stepdad, and the ending. Kind of like the first movie, everything builds up the ending shootout. It's the pinnacle of the action and violence. The first movie had great content before its shootout, the second movie had its own share of great content before the shootout. It falls into the time period of the movie being made. In the 70s, the violence was there, it's wild, but it doesn't look brutal. This movie, 80s? Here we go again, brutal, blood squibs, just crazy.

By comparing the two movies a lot, that's really what it boils down to in terms of which is better. Ignoring the followup connection being nonexistent in the second movie, it's just preference. Even then, I can't choose one or the other. The first movie had a serious Southern charm to it, and [NOBABE]Angie Dickinson[/NOBABE] went nude, she was younger. Here, more Western feel, the nudity is great, but with Dickinson aging, and a body double that wasn't as good looking, I'd go a bit in favor of the first movie. Violence, this movie edges out, blood squibs man. Oh an explosions, 80s movie explosions, the final shootout with the house blowing up, so fucking 80s.

Acting? The first movie edges out, it had more veteran actors, and even William Shatner gets a pass because...he's William Shatner! The comedy, this one barely, just barely edges out. See? Nothing is a clear landslide victory, they really come together very well. You can watch both back to back and not notice a dropoff, unless you take it seriously.

I wish Dickinson got nude here, even if [NOBABE]the body[/NOBABE] would've looked clearly aged, it still would've been nice. Ah well, so all in all, awesome movie. I think if you like the first movie, you'll get on with this, they are very similar if broadening the description, but going deep, there are differences. Both fall under the exploitation umbrella, with similar and different reasons. Southern vs. West, both have an animated adaptation. It moves really quick too, even faster than the first movie, a Jim Wynorski trademark for sure. So unless there's a Wynorski movie I didn't know he produced, all the Roger Corman/Wynorski partnership films have been awesome for me. Chopping Mall, Deathstalker II, Jim's best movies, this one is firmly in the top 10 of Jim's films for me. So entertaining.

The ending, I should mention, features an epilogue, unlike the first one. It actually tells what happened after the end, something the first movie didn't do, and the second movie didn't really follow up on in its own right. The daughters gave up crime and are living lovely, Crawford Jr became a senator until his death in the 70s, Roger Culp's journalist character served as an honest and expose press guy until his death. A new character is introduced, as Wilma's great granddaughter. What is she doing? Driving away in a chase scene with a police officer in present day, and who is riding shotgun? Wilma! That was awesome, funny too they just slapped on a gray wig on Dickinson, and suddenly she's 50 years older. I loved it.

And this just in, Caged Fury. Really brief, it's a women in prison film that didn't act completely like it until a half hour in! It was so fucking fast that when I looked at the time of the movie, which I rarely did, I was shocked. Given the quality of the video I saw, the movie is just dark. The coloring reflects that, and that really makes me feel the movie was just nudity and martial arts. The latter supplied by some partner of Erik Estrada's Victor. So, WIP film, but also very heavy in action, again with the martial arts, and other action stuff. I thought it was really funny how Michael Parks, a journeyman actor in the truest sense, played his character seriously, when this is just a hokey film. Kind of felt bad for him, it's exploitation rooted in the 70s/80s, but released in 1990. Interestingly enough, [NOBABE]Janine Lindemulder[/NOBABE] and [NOBABE]Julia Parton[/NOBABE] appear in this, but that's only going by imdb, I did not catch them at all. I did catch Ron Jeremy!!! Fucking hilarious when the main character said "Fuck you" to him, and he replied with "No. Fuck her!" Referring to the warden, who is a lesbian and wanted the main character. Then he has a fight scene with the latino martial artist! Oh my goodness, the highlight of the film. But yeah, if you like WIP films, give it a go. I have to watch it again, it just moved so quickly that I forgot almost everything in it, and I just finished it 30 minutes ago.
 
Whisky Galore (1949)
 
[NOBABE]Foxy Brown[/NOBABE]. The first time I watched a [NOBABE]Pam Grier[/NOBABE] 70s movie, and I think this is the third Blaxploitation film I've seen. The other two were Blackbelt Jones and Black Samurai, the amazing Jim Kelly kicking ass. Here, some asskicking, but in a more drawn out way, and in a couple key spots. I think this is the most famous [NOBABE]Pam Grier[/NOBABE] film, so basically I saw the woman at her peak. This is the kind of film I want to see, badass women to be taken seriously. The movie already kills it for me with the opening credits. [NOBABE]Pam Grier[/NOBABE] dancing and wearing a dress, bra and panties, with a closeup of her huge tits, and then she's in 70s clothing, with a gun in hand, afro on head, it sets the film up perfectly.

The woman has attitude, but at first she looks like a normal black girl, in the 70s. Her brother, played by Antonio Fargas, gets into trouble with a loan shark, who turns out to be a woman! That I didn't expect, a lead female villain, Katherine Wall. Anyways, he's hunted by some heavies, and hides out at Foxy's house. The movie's first 20 or so minutes established the characters of Foxy and her brother Link, who is a freaking slimeball. It also introduced a member of a black vigilante group. They looked like it to me, militants and all, but not like black panthers or anything. Keep the peace and justice.

Also brought in is Foxy's significant other, who got facial reconstruction as a protection measure. He's handed a new identity by some government agent. I was confused at his previous appearance, because the picture shown, the dude looked like Malcolm X. So Ms. Wall, she's not called that, but I'll call her that, is also looking for the guy. That slimeball ratted the man out after looking at the photo of his old appearance and putting two and two together.

This led to Foxy's man being killed, and it's sad because he was just introduced to the film 10 minutes before. So you don't get a chance to know the character, he's blasted away. The film goes into a revenge tale, as [NOBABE]Foxy Brown[/NOBABE] takes action. She's stomping ground already when she confronted her brother right after she finds her dead lover.

Up until this point, you do get a peak at Pam's bare breasts. Once the revenge plot is set, there's an amazing amount of boobies! It comes because Ms. Wall has a business where she picks up women and sells them as whores. So, she's a pimp, but she dignifies it as the women are not street walkers or anything. Pam goes undercover with the name "Misty Cotton," which is a hilarious name. She becomes a new Wall girl, and tagged with Claudia, played by Juanita Brown. Unfortunately, she doesn't get naked.

They go to a place that's filled with old white men and young topless woman. One of them played by [NOBABE]Sharon Kelly[/NOBABE]! Her breasts were amazing, they were the only pair that can compete with Pam's. So you get ebony and ivory big tits, the best of both worlds so to speak. Foxy uses her smarts, threats, and sometimes her fighting skills to continue her mission.

It would involve posing as an even more stereotypical black woman to ride alongside Sid Haig's Hays in an airplane trip to Mexico. The best scene came when Foxy's held captive by hick white boys. She gets tortured, you see her breasts literally drop out of her robe. It's beautiful, graceful, if she had small boobs, you wouldn't see it drop, you wouldn't see the nipple. Ahhh. Foxy escapes from the ropes, which is the weakest part in the film. No way her mouth and a small razor would be able to cut through ropes. Ah well, and this scene had the most racism. So many slurs throughout the film, from jiggaboo to the N-word, spook and more stereotyping. Those white boys were total trailer park trash, and they got killed like the pigs they were. That was amazing and totally over the top. The coat hangers fashioned into a slasher, that was awesome. The fire and explosion made it over the top.

Link thankfully gets killed, but his poor white girl gets it too. Foxy gets help from the black vigilante group and she does get her revenge, but choosing not to kill Ms. Wall. Her reasoning is brilliant. Oh and the group chopped off Ms. Wall's man's dick. Awesome. That's what the whole film is, from top to bottom. No slow parts, moves quickly, it's a classic. I want to see more [NOBABE]Pam Grier[/NOBABE] for sure, my only experience was [NOBABE]Jackie Brown[/NOBABE] and some other movie I can't remember. In [NOBABE]Jackie Brown[/NOBABE], she was incredible, and it makes me think Jackie's actually [NOBABE]Foxy Brown[/NOBABE] 20+ years in the future. She's a single woman in Foxy, and probably couldn't book a job unless being a flight attendant. She got into being a drug mule, so to speak, and continued to go downhill. Like [NOBABE]Foxy Brown[/NOBABE], Jackie gets redemption and she shows off the same sass and badassery. And that's saying something when she goes against Samuel L. Jackson.

I also saw The Last American Virgin. Not to my surprise, it really was a direct remake of Lemon Popsicle. Very little liberties were taken, the two biggest changes was a fake cocaine opening scene, with the nudity hitting hard right away. The other was they fucking cut when the fat boy was about to shag the hooker. That bothered me because the hooker in Lemon Popsicle went topless when she shagged the fat boy. So here, no topless nudity, ugh, she was a proper looking whore too, so she must've oozed sex.

The whole story is the same too, which is sad because the ending's the same. There's not much to say because I already typed about it a week or so ago. The timing is bad because I didn't laugh at most of the stuff, I already heard it all before. Even if I didn't watch Lemon Popsicle, I don't think it'd be any better. I suppose it's a landmark teen film, which I've noted before, I don't like teen movies. Same problems as Lemon Popsicle, unlikable main male character, the target woman being a fucking bitch. The guy boinking the fucking bitch is a toolbag. Nothing is different.

But I like this more than Lemon Popsicle simply because it looks better. I'm not being racist, Israel vs. America, but the production value is clearly better. The budget is better, the women look better too. None of them are models or anything, but they still look better. The single best part in this film, just like Lemon Popsicle, the horny cougar who wanted to fuck the three guys. This time played by [NOBABE]Louisa Moritz[/NOBABE], who I just found out is a Bill Cosby rape accuser. My goodness, MILF body, her areolas were huge! She spoke Spanish, and she's actually Cuban, so gets away with it. I loved her.

Kimmy Robertson of Twin Peaks fame is the bespectacled girl that the main character Gary didn't give a shit about. That makes me more mad than Lemon Popsicle, because damn she looked nice. I feel like I'd appreciate teen films more if I was older. I'm in my 20s, not too far off from escaping my teen years, and I don't like reminiscing about them. Being a teenager is overrated, and movies exploiting that, hardly ever appealed to me. Even as a teen, I wouldn't bother with the shit aimed at the generation. I'd rather watch teen sex comedies, which this is, otherwise I wouldn't give it the time of day. At the same time, I'd rather watch an adult sex comedy than a teen one. You know, like softcore flicks from the 2000s or Russ Meyer, the king of American sleaze.

College films also don't get much of a rise out of me. Anyways, despite not liking the female lead character, the actress on the other hand, I think I'd like if I saw other films of her. [NOBABE]Diane Franklin[/NOBABE], she looks very nice today. Looking at her imdb, this her film debut, only credit before this was a TV series. She was very young too, this was 1982, she was either 19 or 20. I read the film got a lot of praise, apparently praise that would be given to John Hughes movies. Interesting, so Cannon Films had a hit. Good for them, this film got love and proper credit in the Electric Boogaloo documentary.

Good film overall, but if I were to read the praise this got, I'd hit back with thinking it's overrated. It's an average film for me. Last thing, Gary's friend, the toolbag, every scene with him, his head is tilted to the side. He looked funny that way, and has a young Patrick Swayze look to him.
 
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