really how did you pass world 1 castle?
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what game are you playing right now?
- Thread starter squallumz
- Start date
I'm playing Zelda on my Nintendo DS.
Legzman
what the fuck you lookin at?
Classics. Very nice! :thumbsup:
how is that game? Its the only reason I could possibly see for getting a wii.
on
Closed Account
Nhl 10
I am enjoying Warcraft III :hatsoff:
FarCry II
tomorrow getting KOTOR for my 360 ( retrocompatibility )
Lucky. I want that game SO bad!
PlasmaTwa2
The Second-Hottest Man in my Mother's Basement
I finished it today. It is not that great of a game. I found it to be very slow and rather repetitive, and the load times were even worse than Mass Effect's elevators (At least there was people talking during them) It was a fine game, story wise, I suppose; I think Morrigan is one of BioWare's best characters.
There might be spoilers ahead.
I found myself getting ticked off later in the game because to complete each "major quest" to get the elves, dwarves, etc. on your side, you have to do so much shit that it isn't really fun. During the mission in Recliffe, I got really bored of having to:
A. Run around the village to prepare for the attack. Because, as in real life, everyone is totally fucking helpless until you get there and magically solve all their problems.
B. Fight the enemies at the top of the village.
C. Fight the enemies at the docks, because apparently the undead have learnt how to canoe.
D. Go back and fight the enemies at the top of the village again because the game didn't show me on the map that a enemy got stuck behind a fucking fence.
E. Sneak into the castle. Because I just saved everyone's goddamn lives and should be going in there while busty wenches suck my goddamn dick.
F.Have a long pointless conversation with the blood mage, before going and having a long pointless conversation with the fucking possessed kid while his dad dances like a prick.
G. Since I was playing as a good character, and yet somehow was trying to get into a relationship with Morrigan, I didn't kill the kid. In hindsight, it would have saved me a lot of fucking problems.
H. Because I didn't want to lower my status with Morrigan, I didn't use her to go into the Fade to kill the demon right away, and so I had to go to the Mages to get their help. Worst mistake of all time.
I. On my way there I get stopped and have to fight a pointless group of enemies.
J. I have to climb my way up the tower, meet Wynne, and then get captured by what-fucking-ever and sent to the Fold.
K. I have to go through, like, ten annoying stages where I have to turn into a mouse or an idiot who set himself on fire or a floating guy who is fucking slow. For some fucking reason all of my companions turn out to be total idiots, and I have to save them from demons. Like, what the fuck.
L. I have to defeat the enemy to escape the fold. By now I am so bored I just use the command console to kill him.
M. I get out of the Fold, and I have to talk to this stupid templar who tells me to kill everyone upstairs.
N. For some reason I then had to fight Wynne.
O. Then I had to sit through a boring cutscene and talk to the guy I need to kill.
P. I use console command to kill him. Somehow I get through this part of the game without killing everyone, which proves that that templar was full of horseshit and I killed Wynne for no goddamn reason at all. That woman was a goddamn MILF.
Q. I finally beat the tower and I tell the mages to go help me in Recliffe.
R. I go back, being attacked on the way, and then I have to use that damn blood mage to enter the kid's mind or whatever.
S. I have to chase that kid like five times and then defeat the sexual demon. All the while I wished there was an option to simply pull out my dick and spray her with my magic potion.
T. I finally defeat the demon, and I save the kid, who doesn't even come out of his fucking room to say thanks.
U. I find out that, hey, that wasn't enough to save the old man! I have to go find some fucking urn because the asshole doesn't want to get out of fucking bed.
V. I have to go across the world to Denerim and go to some bastard's house, only to kill the one guy in there who didn't tell me what the fuck I was supposed to do next!
W. I run around aimlessly for about an hour before exiting the game and going to GameFAQS and realizing that I have to go to some fucking village all the way across the map again.
X. I get there, and it turns out everyone is a bitch and I have to kill them. Honestly, I wish that they made the game so once you become powerful enough, everyone in the fucking game would just go "Oh SHIT, maybe I should just step out of this guy's way before the mage turns into a fucking bear and flavours up my goddamn casserole!"
Y. I have to go into a building and find the bastard who should have been in his house.
Z. Luckily it automatically takes me to the unneccesarily large dungeon which has about 3,000 cult members and plenty of dragons in it. This is total bullshit because the village has like three houses in it. Where do all these fucking people sleep? The dungeon is full of fucking ice, so I'm pretty sure they don't live in there 24/7.
A2. I take the wrong turn and end up going down a path and fighting countless members of the cult for fucking fifteen minutes before I come to a dead end. What the hell are all those cult members doing in a pathway that doesn't even lead to where they are supposed to keep me from going?
B2. I go into some other cavern, and then I have to fight through it again for a half an hour before I come to the boss guy, who I immediately kill with console command.
C2. I go outside, and since I took the bastard's horn I thought I had to kill the dragon. The dragon turns out to be totally fucking optional and I end up spending a good ten minutes fighting him before I fucking want to punch him into a bomb factory and use console command to kill it. I can't take any of the weapons or money that it inexplicably had on it because I can only carry 70 things. I want to know why the dragon had a shitload of gold on him and a full set of dragonbone armour. Like, fuck, in the cave I got a message after I killed Dragon Jr. that I needed to kill dragons and collect scales so I could get some fucker to create the armour because it is so difficult and takes a master blacksmith, but here is this bitch dragon who is like "Fuck you, I'm a master blacksmith even though I can't hold a hammer". The game is fucking unrealistic, I tell you.
D2. I get into the dungeon after the dragon, and I have to go through four trials to get to this damn urn. Apparently BioWare forgot the line where you say "Fuck you, you metal-wearing homo. I just went through an unnecesarily large dungeon, and killed a huge fucking dragon for no reason at all. I just want to save some old fucker. Haven't I fucking done enough?"
E2. I do these four trials, which are each more retarded then the last. The puzzle where you have to cross the giant pit was a fucking waste of time. Why make a puzzle like that when it is so goddamn easy to beat it? And then I have to take off all of my clothes, which makes me ask two questions. One, why the hell does every guy in the game wear a thong, and two: Where the hell did that bra come from on Morrigan? She had, like, a scarf covering her tits for the entire game, and out of nowhere she has this really classy pair of underwear, which is total bullshit because she lived in the fucking woods all of her life with Captain fucking Janeway. And while I'm at it, when did her tits get so goddamn big?
F2. I finally get to the urn, and as it turns out I only get to take a small bit of ashes from the urn. Which, actually, was probably for the best because I had no more space in my backpack for a urn.
G2. I have to run ALL OF THE WAY BACK to the entrance, which is bullshit because every other dungeon in the game automatically teleports you to the entrance or gives you a shortcut.
H2. I finally start heading back to Redcliffe, and I get stopped on my way there by another group of enemies that had nothing better to fucking do then bug me.
I2. I get back to the castle, and I finally revive the old man, and suddenly I have to fucking decide about the fate of the blood mage. Like, what the hell? Why do I have to do that? That guy is the worst king, or whatever the fuck he is, in history.
J2. I have to sit through a bunch of bullshit scenes until the game tells me I can run around and do nothing, or be forced into going and completing the game.
And THAT is just to complete one mission. I had to complete way fucking more than just one mission. I should have let that old fucker die.
And what's worse, is that I got to the end of the game and made sweet, pixelated love to Morrigan, only for her to leave right after I killed the last enemy. I don't even get a celebratory snog.
I think it is pretty obvious that BioWare just made this game to tide people over before Mass Effect 2 comes out. But I swear to god, if that game is as boring as this one, I am heading right over to Edmonton and shitting on their cornflakes.
PlasmaTwa2
The Second-Hottest Man in my Mother's Basement
I don't get a song either. In fact, I don't even get an ending. Just a bunch of screens that tell me what happened because I chose one thing instead of the other. Fucking lazy as hell, I tell you.
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