Things you want me to do with my girlfriend

[LukeEl]

Sodomize her with a piece of splintered balsa wood.

Cut off her nipples with a rusty butter knife.

Amputate her hands & feet, then reattach them so she walks on her hands.

Nail her hands to 2x4's and then use a drill to knock all her teeth out. Afterward, cut out her tongue, simmer it in a red wine sauce for a few hours and enjoy the view of her lifeless body on the floor as you eat her tongue.

Just a few ideas, I have more if you'd like.

Dude you got some fucking issues man. Do you keep your mothers mummified corpse up in the attic? And dance in her panties to I'm A Little Teapot?

 

[ApolloBalboa]

I want her to do you from behind while you blow a Tickle Me Elmo doll.

 

[tunsty]

dum[p her and then take a long walk off a short bridge.

Then she'll be mine... ALL MINE... MUHAHAHAHHAAAA

 

[StanScratch]

Read her War And Peace, cover to cover, then discuss it.
After that, let her watch as I introduce you to manly love.

 

[mrtrebus]

Make an honest woman of her for god's sake man!

 

[Shifty]

Teach her how to pee standing up.

 

[GregCentauro]

Win the three-legged race at the London Olympics.

 

[Ace Boobtoucher]

Clean my house.

 

[tiger1977]

Dude you got some fucking issues man. Do you keep your mothers mummified corpse up in the attic? And dance in her panties to I'm A Little Teapot?

It's my mother-in-law's body. And I dance around wearing a tutu listening to "It's a Small World".

 

[shootfighter8]

Ask her to invite her girlfriend and do a threesome while being captured by a vidcam.

Or, invite more girlfriends and do a foursome, fivesome, etc.

 

[serpentor]

give her a huge hit of acid and when she is really tripping tie her to the roof of your car and drive around during a lightning storm

 

[D-rock]

Hopefully she will occupy your time or something else will so you never start another thread like "Things you want me to do with my girlfriend".

 

[DJCowboy]

Nothing shows love like a fist in the butt

 

[Vlad The Impaler]

Call her "Magil" then bury her alive.

 

[Smallville417]

Interesting idea, though I have no suggestions to offer you.

 

[biomech]

:rofl: Wonder if this is really his girlfriend?

 

[DOA82]

Hi,
i hope you guys like the following idea:
I like to talk about my GF, telling you things about her e.g. what she likes.
I like answering every question and hear honest opinions.
She has no problem with that, under one condition: She stays anonymous.
So I cant show you her face or tell you her full name or where she lives.

Im here to talk about Lena and answer everything, but the most interesting thing is: I want to do things to/with her on your demand, but not such cheap stuff like: "make a pic of her naked", thats just silly and there is no need in starting a thread for such "ideas".
I want to do well described (many details) and interesting things to her, what YOU would like to see.
So please make questions or suggestions of stuff you want to see, but please have conrete and detailed ideas........and i will do it (to her) for you.

here 2 pics of her, so you know who i am talking about
http://picpaste.de/SDC12968_1.JPG
http://picpaste.de/SDC12971_1.JPG

feel free to write whatever you want, no offence taken

"So I cant show you her face " - Yet you just posted two full on face pics.

"tell you her full name " - There cant be that many Lenas out there, we'll find her!

So, let me get this straight.

The guys on the board suggest in detail tawdry sexual ideas for you and your lady to engage in. Why?

Just so you can say "Yea, we did that"

The simplest request, as you pointed out being a naked pic gives those who give a damn (I certainly dont) something to look at.

If you are so lacking in the ability to create your own sexual situations through your own imagination, then I dont believe for one second you are capable of performing those suggested here.

 

[Vlad The Impaler]

"So I cant show you her face " - Yet you just posted two full on face pics.

"tell you her full name " - There cant be that many Lenas out there, we'll find her!

So, let me get this straight.

The guys on the board suggest in detail tawdry sexual ideas for you and your lady to engage in. Why?

Just so you can say "Yea, we did that"

The simplest request, as you pointed out being a naked pic gives those who give a damn (I certainly dont) something to look at.

If you are so lacking in the ability to create your own sexual situations through your own imagination, then I dont believe for one second you are capable of performing those suggested here.

He's gotta try mine at least!

 

[Member442]

Watch porn it should have all the ideas you need on it and as an added bonus if you slow it down its like a tutorial.

Well, since it's been 173 degrees every damn day, I decided to the mow the yard and take care of the landscaping (pulling weeds, trimming the bushes) early in the morning. Yeah, that sounded manly... :o

Want to come do mine? Not much landscaping here though. We'd have to find something else to do so you worked the full few hrs I need you for.

He's gotta try mine at least!

I think he should definitely NOT do yours.

 

[Shifty]

"So I cant show you her face " - Yet you just posted two full on face pics.

"tell you her full name " - There cant be that many Lenas out there, we'll find her!

So, let me get this straight.

The guys on the board suggest in detail tawdry sexual ideas for you and your lady to engage in. Why?

Just so you can say "Yea, we did that"

The simplest request, as you pointed out being a naked pic gives those who give a damn (I certainly dont) something to look at.

If you are so lacking in the ability to create your own sexual situations through your own imagination, then I dont believe for one second you are capable of performing those suggested here.

Better ease up doa. You'll force him to reveal how large his penis is.